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 Dec 2012 Tori
L Smida
*Struggle
 Dec 2012 Tori
L Smida
It's like I can see it in my head
As you're texting the words to me
I can see how stressed you are
Your head in your hands
Pounding with frustration
Constant wheels turning
I can only imagine how exhausting it is
And I squirm and struggle to sit here
Because I can't do anything about it
Oh how I wish I could take you away
Teach you how to relax
Slow down time
Count each breath
Feel it
Fill your lungs
Feel me
Seize your stress
Let me work those knots
Lay you down and straddle your body
Kneed your skin and play with your hair
Ease your mind off those headaches
I can make the pain disappear
Dissolve away
I'll mold your mind into a warm balance
Nothing but my hands on your mind
Forgotten the outside world
Feel me
Awaken forgotten nerves
Feel it
Relax your muscles
Please
I beg
Let me take you away
 Dec 2012 Tori
Mike T
We met in a crowded room.

Your dark skin shone
as a contrast to your pale teeth.
Neither of us said a word,
but our bodies did speak.

You glanced in my direction
and my breath went cold.

I thought of what it might be like
to dive deep within,
really deep within,
what makes you
uniquely
imperfect.

If for one second
we could truly know one-another.
What a wonder it would be.

We could swim with the thoughts
inside each other
and be truly free.

I want to be immersed
in all that you are,
so that one day
together you
and I
can
be
1


11/26/2012
 Dec 2012 Tori
Jackie McMahon
I'm surprised, by what I let slip
"I want to cut my tongue open, and watch the blood drip."
Something here is incredibly wrong,

We're the same person, I swear,
but we're total opposites, like an oxymoron
or trying to read through a mirror.
Like that "***** at my school who died from an overdose of oxycotton."
She said so matter of factly.
As a matter of fact, his funeral was today.

I wonder who has lives outside of this one,
and what other worlds are like
I wonder if you notice coffee's bitter taste
I wonder where his is, and his stupid talent thats going to waste

When you lose your glasses, its harder to see
and when you lose your thoughts, its harder to be.
We only notice the problems of others, if we've been there ourselves
The only ones who notice, are the ones who understand.
But if you keep quiet, they won't cut you by the wrist
or take you by the hand.

"what does domestic violence mean to you?"
He said: "they don't ******' listen" and
I wanted to punch him in the mouth.
Jaded or not, I'm not going to like you,
as much as I thought I would.

If you know the answer, then the question is never good.
Don't mettle in things, if you don't think he should
Full Force Frontal Banger.
Oh, to fly..
More than a fender ******, to slap the face of the sky.

Its a simple wish, to cut my insides out,
and watch them squirm like worms for fish
For an answer you know you don't want to hear
The sounds of a head on collision, and the wind in your ear.

If you want to fall asleep, darling, you've got to close your eyes.
thoughts thoughts thoughts.
 Dec 2012 Tori
Andy Cave
Alone(2)
 Dec 2012 Tori
Andy Cave
I feel so alone
as I lie in this bed
an empty shell
of a heart now dead.
It seems to me that I love you
and I'll show you this poem in a few months
when you ask me how I feel about you
or if by then you love me too
but maybe by then you'll have better things to do


your eyes are glossy and I sneak
a look and I layed my head near your neck
and shook while I feel your heartbeat against my cheek
and hopefully you'll hear me screaming in my head

*kiss me
kiss me
kiss me
 Dec 2012 Tori
Filmore Townsend
- - - there are the days when
i savor my isolation,
i savor my freedom.
in this state is when
Urania came forth
to lift my chin,
to lift my gaze
from finite walking-path
unto Eternity of existence.
She placated me, brought me
to surrender of my Self.
and i lay staring at the ceiling,
longing for a little rest knowing
i did this to myself, and
i don’t complain to you.
- - - there came a conclusion of
self-destruction as
the only thing to depend on.
and i destroy myself
through entertainment
while
fighting tooth and nail to survive.
- - - Sunday 5.30ante.
began Friday 9.30post,
Saturday 9.30post is twenty-four.
i am four short of thirty-six.
and my turbulent stomach awaits
the imbibement of a hard benzo –
(shorten’d word to be hip.
[also the reason i used an infinitive])
by this point i am deranged
and trace mildly. not just
a fancied flight alongside a reality
my mind deceives me of. not
just an insaned delirium
i perpetrate. maintain. sustain.

disdain.

space to insure emphasis,
- - - have i been outward too long.
i sweat naked in the snow thanking,
no Deity,
but instead handful of
multi-color’d, shaped, strength downers.
and i smell’d on death
perfume of flowers as
its figure look’d me over –
naked freezing wretch –
and extend’d claw with
rotting flesh no where
in pace with this vessel’s.
i began to blue, and the
shadow of my end
falter’d in my mind.
lungs, in impulse,
heaved air within themselves.
stretching frozen sternum.
- - - let’s take some math,
how about:
zn+1 = zn2 + c
i am patient,
please explain in detail.
 Dec 2012 Tori
Lisa Rickman
put up my hair, exposing the neck
my hand brushes my collarbone
on its way back down, i see your
glance beneath lashes
and something changes

"you missed a piece" you say
as you catch a curl behind my ear
grazing my neck with your thumb
as you pull away your hand
lingers where i brushed my collar
something intensifies

and so you sit back down at the other
end of the bed, have you
distanced yourself to breathe easier?
come back, i want to make it
difficult for you to breath
something snaps
 Dec 2012 Tori
Elsbeth Poe
Sometimes

Sometimes I want to roll my fingers
Into a fist-like configuration

All except that brave and independent index digit

Which will rise up
Bringing the ball
Of its weaker comrades along with it

And halt
A few feet
From your sometimes beautiful face

In response to this grand gesture of the hand

That strongest
Muscle of my body

Will lift
It's moist mass of taste buds
To the spot right behind
That porcelain shield
Known as my two front teeth

Then ascending from the deepest part of me
Like a hot gust of wind

The words

"You're being a ******* *******!"
Sculpted into arrows of over-articulated consonants

Will hit your sometimes beautiful face
And hopefully bring

That sometimes unbearably beautiful friend
Back

To trust me

In the way that the precious,
Rare,
And exquisite breed
Of true and selfless friend
Is always nervous

Yet eager to do
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