I walked away from that blurry night
With my back wrapped nakedly in soft silk, tossing and turning in a fight
Your brother in so much pain and your mother in a scurry to find her words
You tell me it's alright, and that there's nothing to fear
But anybody who knows you knows the lies you mend are sincere

I wanted to leave your family there in the fog of that old apartment building and resume myself to the lone cars sifting through the highway by 407
But I knew that I wanted you to follow me to share that peace I've found in the the hours past eleven
And as I walked away on a familiar stranger road
I turned around to expect your goofy smile, a smile that read you would come back with me to see my life
I called out to you, and let my words fight the silent in the night
And as I turned around, all I found was you and your mother far off in the corner of my sight
With a *** and a garden trowel, and you said to me that you'd bring it light
Although your father was never there, and most of your life you'd spent scared, you planted a sunflower in the mourning of his leaving glare
And like northern lights, did the sun rise that morn, when you told me that you wish, like this sunflower, that you could be borned
That although hurt and never to let go, you'd make the best of it, to give light to your scorn

If only I could learn from this, to make the best of everything as you do
But maybe I'm just still waiting for you to come back with me so that we can start new
So that you and I can watch the sunset, and I can find light too

I want to have kids, beautiful, beautiful children with someone I love one day.

I'm a wave length
And you pluck me like a guitar string
And the sounds I make you'll never hear anywhere else
But expect every up to have a frown
Expect every noun I say, to be turned down
Put me in a bath, give me my crown
My mother never told me to look both ways before I crossed the street
She can't stop me now while I cross the road and let myself bleed
I told you I couldn't tell you everything
And my loyalty to you has surpassed the loyalty I owe to me
But at least I left you my seed
I'm sorry, but I'm taking my greed with me

Love at first sight
Was never meant to be taken literal
I don't even know what you've been through
But there's something under your skin
And I want to be there

Never wanted to know someone more
Never wanted to feel what rejection could be like
But I wanna take a risk with you
I would rather try and let you walk right through me
Cause sometimes the weight of not knowing is worse
Than not knowing at all

And there's something under your skin
And I'm sick of being scared
My time's growing thin
And I would have, I would have rather cared
Then had left it all behind

The smile on your face makes me selfless
What's that feeling, mind eraser
I hope I dream about you tonight
I hope I meet you tomorrow

Wish I had somebody to kick it with
Said I wanted to be alone, but it already felt like she wasn't there
I guess she was everything just to be fair
Had somebody who loved my writing but wouldn't read my poetry
Liked that she knew where to find it but never looked
But it felt like she didn't care, it left me crooked, --no entry--
Just sitting here in my room weeping like a bent tree
Feel like a ******* baby cause she took my nook
She had it in her hand but she never read my book

Now I'm actually alone, don't know how I like it though
Thought it would give me room to prosper and grow
Now I find myself walking the streets just to clear my mind --to and fro--
Miss your letters, when my phone would light up --new messages--
I'd put it back in my pocket, hiding behind these electronic hedges
Summer's not for lovers, summer's easy, I need that cold to help me struggle
Make me hide in my room, I need saving, get me out of my bubble
I'm too far away, space telescope, hubble trouble

You said you cried everyday since
Not one tear has left my eyes, they're empty
Couldn't tell you why, I'm just waiting cause time's tempting
Told you I loved you, couldn't tell you if it meant a thing
Couldn't tune you like a guitar, the string snaps every time
Tried to care about you, but you only cared about you too
Thought I cared about you, till I distilled the glue
That kept us together, I'm sick of this old ****, try something new

Had to get out, have to numb until I find myself out
I saw her out, and I saw her out, and I saw her out
And I've seen to many her's, in between all the meaningless musical blurs
And all the lies I'm telling her in my bed while I listen to Handsome Furs
Music's quite amazing when it can make you feel something you do not
Thought I was king of my mind, then I find something else to think about and my brain's back to the grind, just trying to figure it out
Now everything that's behind me is something I've fought
I sound like some *** who's like "It's more complicated than that"
It always is, everybody's calloused, like all the tattoos you got
Keep it all in, let your personality rot

Wish the what if's would stop bluffing me too
Need to start counting cards to win
I'm too distracted to let you under my skin
I don't even know how to play the game
But hey I'll play 52 pick up with you

Clean off your slate, that messy desk is just a ruin of all your memories
Dust every corner of your room, make room for contemporary
Throw all your old toys in the garbage, they're just personality accessories
Destroy yourself if all means point to necessary

Talk to the conch before you throw it back into the sea
Or into that lake broken of glass bottles that gave you ****** feet
Dress yourself up, make yourself look neat
Only return to that lake if you want to see where your heart still beats
Strip your bed, clean your sheets
Forget those games in the corner they distract you from the elite

Travel into an empty cave, forget the friends you once knew
Trade out your old sneakers for some nice shoes
Forget the swing sets, and the bicycles, they're way past due
Forget the silly pop music, it's time you outgrew
Cast away that personality, trade it for a tie and a monochrome hue

Try on your high heels and your perfume
Lose some weight and your hostility too
Skewer you, skewer you into a new geometrical suit
You jump now, you're a frog now, not a newt
Learn how to love, learn how to reproduce
Learn about narcissism, try to pursue
Learn about love, try not to lose
Learn about depth, try to precept
Learn about religion, try faith too
Learn about yourself, try to hold on to that, it's more important than you ever knew
Become one of the many, one of the many of the few
Take everything out of that trash can, begin anew

I try not to let my worries ruin my days
All my thoughts are appealing but I don't know what to feel in my bones
My flesh melts away every day I live in this town
Every blank face and every dim light street light frown I see around

I want you to make me struggle
Everything's so easy, I'm seeing double
But now I'm neutral here, floating in this bubble
Let the narcissism ensue, let me peak, and then I'll be back, I'll be troubled
Thinking about the hundreds of things you never said out loud, but mumbled

You freckle your face year after year until your age is near
Till the clarity of your face is crowded with fear

All your memories are scars of brown
Your face is like a galaxy
I look into it and see things that happened years before, and I could never know what you're thinking now
I could never get to know every little thing about you
I could never know you, I could never be what you want completely
Because that's a question not even you could answer
And it plagues me like brain cancer

Everybody's got a different definition of love
Everybody thinks you can only love once
But everybody's so different, how can you not see the possibility for love
How can you not see that one is not enough