You saved me on your desktop
A cyber purgatory every night
I see all your bits and all of your bytes
I'm tacked onto your back drop
Listening to all your lies and all your hiphop
Going through all your pictures, like the tinted frame of your sandy beach flipflops
And the guy you met at that party last night, the one that really hit it off

What am I to you?
Was I ever your addiction
Or was I just the drug that caused this confliction
Or was every word you spoke fiction

Why do I sing about you, you don't exist
You were just a figment of my imagination
Something I wrote, maybe it wasn't your novel at all
You were just someone I met, I never knew You were just part of the crowd
You were just one voice, I heard you, loud
They say you can only actually love a person once
Leaves my mind trailing through breakfast and lunch
With no decision by dinner, maybe a hunch
You were just someone I saw at night, you were my alcohol, you were my blood thinner

I'll never actually know you
You were my moonshine, and you were still
You didn't say anything, I spoke for you
I am god, I created you
You are the end of every line I write
You're the only one I see at night

Iron shackles never felt so good baby
Nothing ever felt sweeter than the fleet of your breeze
Chain me up, slash my knees
Come on baby, you be the bird ill be the bee      
You can hold my hand as we traverse the sea trying to escape this vanity
I've got the heart, you've got the key
Believe
  
And when my eyes become heavier than my heart
You can be the one to hang me up for heresy
You can keep me in the corner of your closeted heart
Your beak will run wild and mock me with parody
While I buzz through my life, with the weight of all my yesterday's
Maybe all the greed will open my eyes to see
Maybe this is the key, maybe I can finally be free

An hour of sleep per day, that's 3
I'm not asking for help, but please
I'm starting to see shadows and I can't tell if it's you
Can't tell if I'm even capable of seeing your hue
Somewhere on a scale of TV gray and simple blue
Gonna need more than shapes, going to need more than a clue

Heavy eyes drag me down
The only thing getting me through are the sounds
They were yours isn't that funny
The lack of Sun today is surprising
Meets my mood in a world where my mind is always running

Heavy eyes drag me down
But ******* trees will set me free
Nothing like the caffeine I get when I look at your face
Nothing like the feeling in my stomach after I finish that case
Momma always told me slow and steady, learn to pace
Sorry ma, her words were laced
And when she kissed me I fell **** faced

Where's the evidence
Help me find the fire
Erase my temper
Exhale the liar

Silence this highway
My ears are bleeding
Can't get anywhere on foot when everybody's driving a car
I'll never get anywhere, all this relativity is way too far

It was better when you never wrote me letters
God's sitting on clouds and chuckling under his breath
Saying isn't it funny how you need her now and she's the one you had to let go, you had to let go because you weren't any better

I'm on my knees, I'm not asking for help, but please
Where's the evidence
Help me find the fire
Erase my temper
Exhale the liar

The troubadour planted his last name between
a she-vegan's legs in San Marcos;
rambled north to that country of love, Oklahoma City,
where he took hits of windowsill acid every three hours
for a week straight.

To escape, to begin.

He spent his nights in the St. Cloud Hotel, trying to
sleep on a carpeted floor. He saw a color between
lavender and orange, nameless and impossible to
recreate. He knew all, including he'd forget all.
He shared a room with two high fashion,
burgundy-lipped lesbians, Viv and Jean, and
one night, the last night the troubadour, our troubadour,
was allowed to stay, Jean went out for some fresh air,
code for a cigarette.

"She never smokes just one," Viv said, little Oprahs reflected in her eyes from the plasma screen. She lay on her stomach on the bed,
atop a jungle green comforter. For your discretion and for the discretion of those before you.

Viv brought him between her legs.

"Gentle. Gentle," she said.

The troubadour thought of those Pepsi Challenge commercials as he tongued her ****. A lesbian has an edge when it comes to oral pleasure. Across the nation more people prefer Pepsi. She's got the same parts, sure, but as the troubadour wordlessly recited the alphabet with his tongue to her, he felt confident Jean hadn't put in this kind of effort, not lately anyways. And so what if he's Coke? The troubadour preferred Coke. Viv snagged a handful of his hair, "Don't stop," she said. "Don't stop."

And it all ended, as drug-addled, hetero-on-**** escapades always do: abruptly and with an "I think you should leave before she comes back," a "But sweetheart, this, us, I think this means something," an "I like girls," a "But," an "I just needed an edge," and later that night as he marveled at the  brilliance of the common streetlight, tripping his *** off on his last hit of LSD, he empathized.

My beards gettin' long, just been snoozin' it
Friends tellin' me you ain't been out, you losin' it
and they probably right, but I'm just cruisin' it
But all this grief is selling

Where's my mental, it's leaving, but I'm shaking like shingles, all my boys got me, but they ain't even know the half of it, and they couldn't, errybody so shallow all I see when I look at 'em is 8-bit, but **** nobody cares, they just trippin, but at least I got the ladies strippin, what a personality I've acquired, isn't that fitting

I'm ready to throw
Trying not to swerve but she ain't driving to steady
It's falling apart, but she's on the horizon
She looks so **** fine from head to heart
It's easy to lose your head when you're at stop a light
And you gotta start all over, rip it all apart, and put it back together, fallin' apart
Stop the car, I gotta walk through all this (from the start)

Silence is feeling when she gone (Where you been?)
Can't get out, I'm paler then a ******* goblin (Around)
All I think is bullets when I got my head next to this pistol (You haven't been out in three weeks man, what happened to that girl you were talking to)
Can't seem to drop it all, but I guess we'll see when my wrist folds (I don't know man, she seeing somebody else)
Where's she at all I want to do is hold her ******* (You're a ghost man, you gotta forget about that *****)
Gets a little violent in here, hold my beer hot mess (Yeah I know man, I'll catch you around)
Going through all the hypotheticals, but that **** ain't alphabetical (****)
How am I supposed to know how to get over you when all you do is make me ******* sick confess

**** I guess I'll just **** the pain away, but it only kills it while I'm in her, but when I finish it stays here
I'm cold, *****, you were the only thing that warmed me
But I guess you were just the mold cause you formed me
I'm a salesman now, let me know where the pretty ******* at
I could sell you something, leaving you alone in the morning with fingers ready to point blame - blame it on my ben folds, fat stacks and fame
******* ain't even play the game, I just leave em in shame
You just a fake, and you linger, all the same, all the same
But you're sticking with me so I guess it's just something in my head

Call me pathological, I dare you you ******* dame
But all I know is your sticking, I can here it echo, I hear it, it's your name
Paradox, like a ***** wearin' crocks (that's what we call a **** block)
Maybe I'm the one who's the same, but you had to erase me just to find my true colors, ******* were a fighter
In between all the arguments and ***, and silent netflix, you were something more, but I was too busy being me to find that out, you were my cigarette, I was the lighter, I lit you up for a while, but in the end I just smoked you out
Look at your pencil, It's dull and calloused like you were when I left you, all I was to you was a blank piece of paper and you were the writer

Calling it quits was easier than it should have seemed
But the nights were long when the river gleemed
And I invited her over and we made shadows taller than the characters on the tv screen

And her bones were sweet as they clashed into mine
There was no dinner, we didn't dine
Her fingers grasped me like the scent of pine
Her perfume was so sweet I couldn't draw the line

Eyes of hazel dancing in circles of brown and green
There was more behind that I wanted to see
But the night ended early and I didn't want to feel
Can't deny myself, can't lie to myself
You're the one who's helping me heal

I want to scale your body
But all you make me want to do is find out what you're thinking

What's going on behind those seizuring eyes
Did you swallow the pill, I can't find you inside my head
Watch your face change shape under the influence
Under rapid eyes that dart behind blinding seas of white

Shadows contour through colors I've never seen before
It's my world and I can't even find you
Your face is hidden behind a mask you wear in this 4th dimension
Where shapes convex your face into hexagon sugarlaced cinematics

I'm tripping right through the fractions of my life, my destination is infinity
I'm nil and nil, trying to find the love you saved for me in the games we play
My bicycles got 7 wheels and I'm only getting more lost in myself
Till I found seven men in seven trees and listened to the most romantic thing I've ever seen
And my ears saw the things I had forgotten and my heart found you for me
I was looking for you in my mind I never figured I could find you in my heart