if i disappeared
would you even notice?
if i left
would you even care?
if i died
would you even bother to cry?
yes, you'd say
but deep down in my heart,
i'd know it was a lie.

sometimes you love me, sometimes you don't
it feels so hot and cold, your touch
when your words hurt, they make my arms bleed
when your words sweet, they make my heart beat
you smile at me sometimes,
maybe you notice the heat on my cheeks,
but you look away sometimes,
and ignore my gaze.
i don't understand how you feel, when you leave me
i don't understand how you feel, when you love me
and yet you do it all again
it drives me a little crazy
and emotionally distraught
to deal with this rollercoaster
of your highs and my lows,
am i too clingy?
you can tell me the truth, you know?
is what i'd say, if you'd even talk to me
i haven't see you these days
are you getting better? am i getting worse?
i don't know. i don't want to know.
i see you in the corner of my eye, the shadows of my vision
i hear you everywhere
i think about you all the **** time,
knowing you probably don't feel the same
i think i almost cried when you left
but you will never feel the same.
never.

a craving love can't satiate
an expression i can't help but hate
the voices in my head, criminalising and condescending
this empty feeling, is something i struggle to comprehend
because it's something that i don't understand
in order for the situation to de-escalate
i believe i need some form of escape
to stop myself from thinking about the end,
about when this end will come to be.
oops, i think I've hit my saturate
that wasn't my intent, surely?
i see, my world must be ending
so in hopes for the future, i must repeat the sentiment-
woe is me!

i can't even recognise my own face in the mirror
i can't identify my self-reflection
even after i've stolen all those dashed hopes and dreams
these thoughts can't escape me now
i know i won't ever change
so i don't dare to steal a glance
i'd never look back twice, i promise.

it's a long way down
but i'm good at waiting for the end
in the myriad sea of faces
i don't think i see a familiar friend
sometimes, i feel so terrifyingly alone
please, can you fix this feeling of despair
and free me from this never-ending nightmare?

i need these hollow, juvenile dreams
to keep my little world afloat

it's strange,
to think of life without you.
you touched my heart, my soul
you have become my everything
it feels strange,
to think of love without you.
when you're gone, far far away
even when i begged you to stay
i missed you so much.
and i'm afraid to ask-
did you feel the same?
what didn't you say, when you saw me once again
what did i say again?
it feels like a blur,
time passes by quickly when i'm with you
don't you think it's strange too?