Waking up
To the smell of sweet coffee
And the taste
Of your bitter love

Burning love
Make me numb
I'm sick of the lies
We keep telling ourselves

A ringing in my ears
Is all I hear
When you say that word
And how easily it seemed
to have fallen from your lips
much like I
think I may have fallen for you

There are days I wish I could forget
what it means to love.
It would make remembering your smile,
the way you would cover your mouth and blush to hide it.
So much less painful.

Your hand in mine
head on my shoulder
Endless train tracks
In my dreams
I could stay
Longer than each breath I take
Next to you

I want to fold into you
and feel the weight lifted from my shoulders with your kiss
Without our lips ever touching

"Morning *** is great, but have you ever spoken to god?" You said jokingly
I haven't truly,
But in the end what holiness
Could hold a light to you
Laying on my arm in bed
The sunlight embracing your exposed shoulder as you sleep.
And I lost in thoughts of you
Wished to stay there
for so many more hours
just to be near you a second longer

Treasure me like a favorite sweater.
Ragged and worn through.
Tucked away and periodically forgotten.
I'll always be there for you when you find me.

Let me find those beautiful
patches of ink
you've adorned yourself with
I want to cage them
in kisses

Whoever I was before has long since expired,
Forgotten and buried in an unmarked grave.

You planted roses in my collapsed chest,
Sunflowers in my sunken eyes.

You cast my wilted petals to the wind.
Your gentle hands trimmed me of my thorns,
You made a beautiful bouquet of my corpse.

Like a hangnail,
Flayed back and bleeding.
I've been picking at this festering wound.
The stinging pain is the only reminder.

How long had it been
Since I
Felt passion in loving
Push me down
Crush my chest with
The weight of your hands
Grind our hips to dust
as we move against one another
I want you
to bruise me
and leave me with
a sweet ache
so anytime I press
The right joins
I think of you

What is this
sweet halcyon
I find myself
caught in
when thinking of you

Like autumn leaves in the cold winds of change, I fell for you.
Fell for you without any of the gentle grace of a floating leaf, I cascaded towards the shore of you.
Plummeted into the waves of your seas like a sinking ship, I cast my anchor to help me along the way to your depths.
All of this to say, I love you.
I love you like the stony beach loves the tide, its soft ebb and flow slowly wearing away the rock's sharp edges.
You changed me in ways I never told you.
Your voice wrapped around me like the warm breeze during the summer nights of my youth, set my heart to a gentle thrum like the jostle of pine trees in the wind.
Your voice was the last thing I wanted to hear.
Your hands the last thing I wanted to hold.
You lips the last mine would ever touch asides from my own breath to say.
I love you, be well.

I could live off nothing but your lips.
Whether it be through words or yours pressed against mine.
The smile it brought me seeing you happy after each one.
Was enough to keep me fed for days.

When I sleep, you're with me.
And everything we could ever want follows.
I've woken up, confessions unsaid.
Your side of the bed lays empty.

The clouds have gathered
Without you here to whisk them away.
You always brought the sun
To my rainy days.

If only I could mail you kisses,
I would overflow the mailbox with letters addressed to your lips.
If only my arms were long enough that I could hold you from miles away.
If only you were close enough that I could feel the vibrations of your voice singing me to a sweet peace.
If only,
If only,
If only.

If I was to walk into Heaven
And not find you there.
I would step back out
Past those pearly gates.
I would skip across the clouds into the great unknown,
Calling out your name into the cosmos.

My love.
If such is the case,
May you come find me
Walking amongst the stars.
Looking for you until they've all but burnt up,
In the hope that I could once again find
The light you shine.

Lock me away in a reliquary
House me in the halls of your worship
I am a blind pilgrim longing for your embrace
A martyr burned at the pyre of your love.