Is freedom the ability to choose not to have it?

I live love through fear.

Your love is a mirror,
all I see is a false image of myself.

So I always color my soul the color of you.

What if  only you have
Those memories
Moments of happiness
That were
Yet, could have never been

What if that's all you are
Goldfish of Time
Goldfish of Memories
Goldfish of existence
Once lost, once passed
Never to return,
Never to be remembered
Never to have existed.

I still remember you, and I am still waiting for you, I am afraid that if I give up, afraid that if I forget, nothing will ever last, nothing will ever matter.

I live through the future in my mind, and the past in my presence. I am always out there, somewhere, but never here in the present.

She cried the tears of stardust, every droplet, a place, a face, a memory, and a moment in time.

We are all honey wasps
The Lost of us
We giveth
       All of our well meaning
                Nectar of sweet hopes and dreams
To a world of Aversion
      
Perhaps,
The world will never know who we really are
They do not look, nor can they see

But, we must remember our purpose
             Despite the isolation
                       Despite the mistrust
                          Lest we turn truly
                                    Barren and bitter.

I want to be caught still in a moment with you, but always just slightly apart, never reaching.

Just so I would never lose you, what was never mine.

I would love to ride into the past and never return, so I can forever be in your present.

I live in your past, and you live in my future, that is why we will never meet, even though both of us are always in the present.

I swim insignificantly among your vast ocean love.