The dearth of love
Invites me to praise it
Yet, in praising
I fill it with only emptiness

So I must counter it
Oppose it with silence
And hope
The sudden calm
Brings back the seeker
That has never dreamt of the sea
But is now questioning
Why has the ocean stopped
Its call.

I see a world of people insisting
Upon absolutes
Within the current of perpetual
Change and uncertainty

I too am lost among
Those
That insist upon the moment truth
Though they are constantly falsified

Those that have too much faith in science
And
Give not enough credit to faith and intuition

Too many souls seeking absolute answers
And
Too many souls only accepting absolute answers

“There must be a reasonable explanation”

Or reasonable within the current paradigm

Yet, perhaps what you needed to see a
Wider world is to take that leap of faith
To the next paradigm

There will be no “Theory of Everything”

If you are not considering everything


‘Truth’ can become mockery
And
Within mockery there’s often more truth
Than
We are willing to accept

As Arthur Schopenhauer said:

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident”

Violent opposition to ridicules
Are evident of acceptance
Disguised as its antithesis

Often such mockery is not intended
But interpreted by a self holding truth
Afraid to be exposed to the world
Thus fighting back whenever it is touched
Leading to its unintended manifestation

Perhaps it is the dearth of a deeper love
In the absence of a truly unconditional love
That gives me fear in what it is to be accepted
There is no ‘Truth’
There is no ‘absolutes’
There will not be the 'acceptance'
That I seek and sought

I loved you everyday as the
Very first day and the very last

From the moment the sun opens its blinds
I hear
The initial breath of always the loudest
Silence
From your transparent soulful eyes
To your total lack of words

I saw nothing else but you and felt all
There could have ever been

Brief little lightnings ripple through me
And in their place

Waltz the fearless blossoming of every atom within my timid body, timid everything
Giving you all of me in a single mindless moment
Timeless yet so fleeting
Till I shed every petal of my soul
And shrivelled up to what’s to come

Through the wind
They flower in your footsteps
Yet form a fading path not to you
But to the abyss of imminent loss-

When you turn your back for the day
Or since the day you walked away
When I awake from my only truth-
When I meet your name in my dreams
(For I dare not dream of thee)-
When I truly feel the longing pain of living

In your absence
I fall
Everyday in breathless suffocation
Pleading for your presence
Through the darkness of this bottomless pit-
That’s only occasionally accompanied by my own rain-
Formed when the support and ground of your being
Mercilessly tore away from me

In your happiness
Distances away from me
How I wish to land
And gift you my final absence
And take away the presence
Of my helpless unwanted
Affection

Yet the cycle always repeats
And I have no choice but to
Joyously suffer for
This love
Swept in and swept away
By the wind

I just want to hide
To move with inaction
To be a dot within the line
An insignificant point in time
I just want to be an eternal witness
That never moves the story forward
A ghost among the timely passerby
A shadowed shape among dotted lines

If I only saw
But never spoke
Never moved
I could have remained forever
Within the fringe of
The maelstrom
The cataracts
Of loss and ceaseless decay
And
Never be broken
By the loss of
You

All these time it was to mourn
The death of a distant dream
Not knowing its passing
Never to return
Despite my wishful pleas

Holding the shape of its void
As its eternal presence
Believing it's still there
Wishing the lack thereof
And of anything else
Is a sign of its destined return

Not knowing all along
The replacing emptiness
Tells only
Of the final death of this
Long since silenced
Dream

I dreamt about you last night

Or as I know now

I saw you

In a different time

But within the same space

Where we’ve always coexisted

Silently, without

Loudly, within


I was never sure before

If I am just hearing my own

Echoes of words I sang for you

But heard only by me

An illusive love of two

In front of a cloudy mirror

Obscured by a lack of presence


Perhaps


If I kept my silence

I’d hear your voice again


If I disappeared

I’d find you once again


To my surprise

Though it was expected

Just like your impermanence

Just like your absence

Your presence in my dream

Caught me off guard in motion

As you held me tightly

While the twinges of your

Tangible soul blossomed

Throughout every atom

Of my being


Echoing through the night sky

In your unmistakable voice

Giving light to stars that have always

Permanently been there

But were ignored by me

In my search of you

Among the visible

While you hid within every

Light and darkness

Every flowering star

Every bit of space

Fertile as earth

Darker than the midnight sea

With its shimmering reflections

That which  

I am now swimming through

And falling into

Like a child

In this storm of every sense


In my own dimness

I always thought

You were reaching me through

The same time

But separated by a different

Space


I didn’t see the truth

I felt it

But I never understood it

You were never showing me

A life of if and could’ve


You were showing me

Our future

Our love in a different time

But

Within the same space

Where our souls have

Always coexisted


Where our soul

Has always

Intertwined

I dreamt about you last night

Or as I know now

I saw you

In a different time

But within the same space

Where we’ve always coexisted

Silently, without

Loudly, within


I was never sure before

If I am just hearing my own

Echoes of words I sang for you

But heard only by me

An illusive love of two

In front of a cloudy mirror

Obscured by a lack of presence


Perhaps


If I kept my silence

I’d hear your voice again


If I disappeared

I’d find you once again


To my surprise

Though it was expected

Just like your impermanence

Just like your absence

Your presence in my dream

Caught me off guard in motion

As you held me tightly

While the twinges of your

Tangible soul blossomed

Throughout every atom

Of my being


Echoing through the night sky

In your unmistakable voice

Giving light to stars that have always

Permanently been there

But were ignored by me

In my search of you

Among the visible

While you hid within every

Light and darkness

Every flowering star

Every bit of space

Fertile as earth

Darker than the midnight sea

With its shimmering reflections

That which  

I am now swimming through

And falling into

Like a child

In this storm of every sense


In my own dimness

I always thought

You were reaching me through

The same time

But separated by a different

Space


I didn’t see the truth

I felt it

But I never understood it

You were never showing me

A life of if and could’ve


You were showing me

Our future

Our love in a different time

But

Within the same space

Where our souls have

Always coexisted


Where our soul

Has always

Intertwined