Craving Paradise
By: Lucian Huw Benedict

I built a paradise out of despair too desperate
Too empty, too silent, I only hear the echoing
Reveries, Fantasies, The Angels are singing
As if so near yet so distant



I built a cathedral with my desires
Above all creations, through the windows forever higher
I am burning, drowning in warmth that's not there
Yet I am letting it heal the pain, pouring down Gilded Rain



I crave heaven, snowflakes and stardust of heavens
Yet, I am burning in hell, as
A sinning believer kneeling in the spotlight of Benevolence
Gazing at the white dove, my sight follows it to heaven
Leaving me at lost
My shadows escape, running in two directions
"Are you heading to the quiet paradise?"
"Or to pay your debt in hell, My Conscience”



I saw the angel's innocence with my mind’s eye
Too blurry, too abstract, a mirage's city reigns
Begging, For the Fortune Wheel's Turning Tides
I used my illusions to reverse back the flown kite,
And went back to a Dreamer's night



I wrote rhapsody with a fantasia
A Silent Solo, I can't hear the melancholia
Silent Melancholia
Peaceful, *******, I take off the camouflage
And Play the last desperate tune
Between Heaven and Earth, Up and Down



I crave heaven, lights and warmth of paradise
But am simmering in hell, like the
Sinner in Purgatory aflame in a ray of righteousness
The most sorrowful thunder roars in turmoil among the raging clouds
Just a flight of solitary plight
He spreads open different wings
Crimson light and White shines
Tears him between the Inferno and Paradise

You are my untouchable muse, yet I have felt all of life through you.

Draw me with a pencil
Erase me when you leave

Color me with chalks
Wash me away when you leave

Hum me with a mindless tune
Forget me when you leave

Build me with dust and rain
Break me when you leave

But never ever leave
Because,
Without you, I'd rather cease to be.

I was that empty little pail
With a hole in my heart
Draining my life away
and
You were that piece of clay
that allowed all of the water to stay.

Except, the water that stayed
Didn't watch its way
Overflowed and washed away the clay
Now
Once again
Broken and in decay
The soul in me drained away

Draw me with a pencil
Erase me when you've been lured by the next leaf

Color me with chalks
Wash me away when you've been longed by your keep

Hum me with a mindless tune
Forget me when you flirt with your keys

Build me with dust and rain
Break me when you are needed by the warmth and heat

But never ever leave
Those things only love you so casually
But, me
Without you,
I'd cease to be.

I have a childlike outlook
A hand drawn interpretation of life
But it is your warm and reassuring love
That adds all the color to my blank coloring book

I am the moon child that roams free
Senselessly in the starless nights
While you are all that's Earthly
Only occasionally glance up at the sky
Still, I love you,
And would rather be the dust floating in the silvery moonlight,
Just to be close to you.