You ever meet someone and think
I could love you
The easy to love type person
The type of person who knows you without really knowing you

Deceased
Dead
Lungs out of service
Liver out of whack
Trachea contracts
Lifeless

Wake up
Rise and shine
Baby’s breath
Crying in the middle of the night
Crying just to make sure we are still alive

For everyday
We are born again
Born again into the next 24 hours
16 hours spent sleeping
2 hours spent pondering
3 hours spent wandering
1 hour spent grocery shopping
30 minutes spent driving
40 minutes spent talking
50 minutes spent relaxing

Redo
Restart
Reboot

Discard the memories
Settle them into your pillow
Skin cells shed into your sheets
Yesterday’s hair strands weave into your clothes
For everyday we are born again
Peel off the clothes
Rinse off the regrets
Spray on the hope
Tie your hair up in a bun
Step outside and shut the front door

Two hands on the bars
Right hand leans too far back
Whiskey throttle
Adrenaline ****** hits the fence post
Wheelie by default
Error in the process
Whiskey throttle
Everything realigned
Restart
Reboot
Try again
Power off
Shut down
Switch user
Try again
Sorry no internet connection

Whiskey throttle
Lost control
Can’t contribute to the parade in the front yard
Take the cigarette out of your uncles fingers with dirt engraved under his nails
Light up
Inhale
Breathe out
Repeat
Exhale
Toss out
Whiskey throttle

Grass stained elbows
The most important part
Ligaments reattached
Reassembled
Ensemble of instruments clashing in your ear
But to the ones watching
All they hear is the motor and the birds
You can hear his menacing laugh
Like a unforgettable business deal
Reach arm
Shake hands
Hold tight
Place other hand on top
One more shake
Release
Shame
Mistake
Revenge
Whiskey throttle

headache- Pop two Advil
But we can do better than that

Down the whole Advil bottle with a handle of jack
and whiskey throttle into the worlds atmosphere

Stepping into the black hole that holds your life in fragments of their soul
Speeding in the fast lane riding in a limousine
When you’re the only passenger on board

The moon may seem like a cool place to venture
But give me the sun so I can sense what it feels like to be the center of attention and revolve into the shotgun of his heart

To burn and no one says anything about it because that’s the way the cookie crumbles

And no one knows how fresh that bakery is down the street on mars because it all tastes good so no one questions it

That’s funny though, isn’t it?
If everything is going as planned
And nothing is wrong
Life’s sweet memories taste sweeter than the last
And there’s never a bitter taste on your tongue, or in your brain,
No one questions it

But as soon as the sun stops shining into your tinted limousine
And the cookies aren’t as fresh as they used to be
We get all fussy and bent out of shape and start trying to fit the wooden square into the circle imprint
And wonder why the hell its not going in,
Our brain matter turns into the static of that old tv
And our eyes get flustered
Things start looking fuzzy
When we awaken after a long nights sleep and everything is blurry

A morphine drip hanging above our bed inserted into our arm
Anesthesia shoved needles into limbs

look I get it
We think we deserve better than the last
“You can do better than that”
But what if the last thing was the best thing
And what if,
it doesn’t get any better than that?

The girl with the mood ring and curly hair skimming her lower back,
Doesn’t quite know what her style is but goes with the calling of the wind,
she told me “This life is not long lived yet, but the longest I’ve ever lived”
Mentality always of older descent
Descending into the world she knew and loved  

Always told she looked older
Old enough to have lived two lives
Old enough to know that “If you drown, at least you know you’re headed to shore”
Washed up into someone else’s mind
daydreaming of you in their frontal lobe
Dreaming of the day you become theirs

They seem to be always looking into life’s review mirror
Can’t get enough of the past-
life the past life
The one you lived before you took ownership of a new body
Signed the papers and checked the right boxes
Revising the one you have now
And reviewing the applicants working papers

She was the temporary occupant of the glass house
The one you can throw stones at because now it’s bulletproof
Vest protects you from the gunshots to the heart
since learning from the first life that not everything is handed to you except the rolled up grass in his tiny shed
That’s when she said you’ll never really know the real me
With the rules circling the air that left is law
Unless you went down the right path
Then you’ll never know us outlaws

In-laws ricocheting their gavel on the podium
They are the real judges
The ones who eye you up and down
Tell you your eyeliner is too thick
And your jeans too ripped
But you tell them
My eyes are black so I can keep your shiny,
fake, plastic-wrapped sight out of mine
jeans ripped so I can practice on how to sew your mouth shut

Nicotine just to fall asleep
Body heavy soaking into the queen size mattress
Soaking up the words of her parents the ones who raised her to be hell bent
Waking up to the soaking wet pillow from sweat
Or maybe those are tears...
From the nightmares she so desperately craves like a hole in her head
Ain’t no bulletproof vest for that
10 when the parents split up
16 when she thought she knew what Love was
17 when she really knew what Love was
18 when she laid down in an open field with vultures circling around her
Merry go round of men
Picking at her hip bones and thighs like it was nothing
Taking the best part and moving in on their next ****
But was it their fault if there next ****-
Was already dead....

First thing when I rise

Devine beautiful mastermind
Badass twisted reckless *******
Chivalrous charismatic being
Grass inhaled and exhaled-
exhibition of your minds greatest works on the biggest ***** of their bodies

Trusted and tender
Passionate pitter of his vocals trickle into my ear
Zoning into his eyes
Dark and soulful
Locked in and uncontrollable involuntary hands move swiftly across colored skin

Secrets swivel through the air
So sell me your sweetest memories
Tell me your worst
I’ll prepare

Aligning our aliens
Parallel parking in the third eye
Dismember her heart
Reassemble the right way
Getting their fix off one another  

Rough rendezvous
Right place
Right time
Tattoos intertwine
Awakening between the sheets of her mind

Reciprocating the rawness of his past times
Renegades seeking retribution

Last thing when I fall

Thought I needed you
Thought I depended on you
Thought I had to have you by my side to live and thrive through this life

Oh but I was so wrong
A good kind of wrong
I have proven myself to be independent and strong without you
It’s like I was driving down the highway early in the morning before the sun decides to come out
It’s pouring rain & I couldn’t see
And the clouds lighten up,
I can see but it’s still dark
I can see,
but barely

The crazy thoughts going around in your hotel room
It’s a mad house
A Delusional dramatic fixated being
It was fine until it wasn’t.
It was good until it stopped being beneficial
Big words and lost creativity
It’s fun to write, they said in her brain,
And she agreed
I can’t stop it
It won’t stop
It never stops
Never comes to a halt
My voice and thoughts always seem to be trapped in a vault in which I did not own the key
And the day I held it in my hand
I was free

It’s 4:50 pm and the clouds look angry,
They wanna fight, I know it
Not with me but my brain
They know something i dont

The loud cracks
Whipping in my head, my eyes wince shut

I KNOW OK I GET IT,
I GET IT NOW!
YOU WERE NEVER “THE ONE”

They’re screaming at me
Telling me how wrong I was
They’re not upset, no,
Just- ready to listen once again to my long stories of complaints,

And they wonder why I don’t do anything
Why don’t you do anything!?
Why, because you love him? Is that why!

Love is evol it says so it’s self,
Tears your heart apart
What does it mean?

If we knew what it meant there wouldn’t be questions and concerns,
Jealously, for gods sake!

Stop,
they are angry
Listen to them
There’s a reason they look the way they do
They know
You know
It’s time...

I’m sorry for ever trusting you
I blame myself for ever falling for you
You broke me
Shattered me to the ground
But I blame myself
They told me
And I didn’t listen,

They told me to stay away
But I said “no, it can’t be true, it’s not”...
And i wished I believed them
Could’ve saved myself from the hurt
But I blame only myself

Laying in bed
Wondering why "Go Away"
Means come in
Wondering why,
I use to be able to go to sleep without you
I didn't need to hear your voice as I fell asleep
And now I can't sleep without it

Oh but I can sleep fine now
I didn’t need you
I thought I did but I was wrong I was so so wrong
And a part of me loves that

Empty my bank account
My wallet
My life
Break my car
My heart
My finger
My arm
Slash my tires
Pop my lip open
Do it I dare you
You already did it once
What’s one more time
Just one more time
Do it
See what will come
I’m ready
She was not
She was never ready
SHE DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS YOU *******

and honey why?!
WHY?!
Why do you keep crawling back
I wish I could stop you,
Put you in a safe haven and take care of you
Take you away from all this *******
He doesn’t love you
He loves the thought of you
The thought of hurting you
He’s obsessed
Why won’t you call the police?
Why won’t you let us help you?
You need us
And we’re here,
just call me
Tell me you’re ok
Tell me you’re not with him
Tell me you’ll go home and lock the door
Tell me

The ones who scream the loudest when born
Weren’t meant to be here
Scream in agony
Scream in pain
They didn’t choose to live
Didn’t choose to be here
But you
You put them here
On this earth to live
Because you thought they had a mission
A reason why they came here
But there is no mission
There is nothing on this earth,

And to who it may concern, blowing on dandelions does not make wishes come true
Just spreads the artificial flower around
Spreads the rumors
They’re all lies
No one has one path
We have millions
Up to us to choose
And we can’t go back
We made a choice
Not the best
But that’s why there’s more
Choose again

Move your mirror
Just to the side,
The light hits you just right and you can feel the sun on your skin
You my dear, are glowing
And you’ve never felt better,

6:00 comes around and the light fades
You don’t look the same
So you wait until tomorrow,
Tomorrow you’ll feel it again
I promise

Since I was a little girl I have learned that a little girls voice only travels so far
And little girls’ voice couldn’t be heard over the wind
She wanted to be loud
To be heard over the lakes
To be payed attention too
  
During family parties little girls voice was background music
Little girls voice was cut off
Two words in if she got lucky
I dont know why she kept trying
But she was determined

Little girls voice would become low and loud
And more attractive to the men’s ear
They asked her about her life
As if now it was anymore exciting
Little girls voice grew and grew and she got loud
She had to
She didn’t have quite of a choice
She wanted to be heard
And she was
They heard her
They all heard her
She was listened to now,
and not just heard

Beginning at the top
You are the slinky
Meticulously moving down the edges of my heart
Hypnotized by your rhythm
Ring after ring gathering at your core
To just repeat the past over and over again
Until it all stops
And everyone can finally look away

Cry till your eyes burn
But can’t set them aflame
They’ll go numb

Pull at my throat
My tears,
they will suffocate me one day i know it

tear coming from my eye
Go back up
He can’t see that i cry

I am tired of crying
My pillow has only felt the waves of the ocean since you left
I’m tired of riding those waves to sleep

My stomach is in knots
My lungs don’t remember how to breathe

Crying in the dark is like swimming in the unknown parts of the ocean,
The quiet sobs are your lullaby,
And tomorrow will bring closed eyes at dawn from the restless night

What are we doing?
We are slowly fading away and i dont want to
But we have to
Nothing lies in the future that is beneficial
There is no progress
There is no future

I’m gonna miss you
Much more than anything in this world
But our love was like watching sprinklers twitch,
in the rain..
Speeding up to a red light,
Pointless

You planted me but did not want me to grow
Just wanted to see me rot
Kept piling more dirt on me,
Making it harder to reach for the sun
But I got there
I did
And I’m thriving...

He knew I was an artist,
he said paint me,
I painted a monster
Not only in my head but on my life’s canvas
He tainted my blue skies into black
Confused my clouds into thinking, this isn’t what I think it is,

My grass was no longer green anymore
He took my pallet knife and changed all the colors to my canvas
made me out to be the one who looked color blind
He was a criminal
He took me when I did not wanted to be taken,
For granted,
He took something from me that wasn’t for sale
Oh but the price you pay when your friends tell you no, don’t
And stay away
He’s not good for you
He’s not good-
It costs way more than money
It’ll cost you a bad memory
And a color blind canvas

Move slow and you can hear my bones creak
I am that old wooden rocking chair in your grandparents home that you used to go to every Sunday,

And every Sunday you used to set the table even though you never liked it much,
Five fragile dinner plates in your tiny palms spread across the placemats
Soon five turned to four and Sunday dinners were more quiet,
If you moved slowly enough you could hear your bones creak
When we didn’t talk you could hear the clock tick
The grandfather clock stopped ticking awhile ago but it’s a decoration now
You grew sad when you would count the plates and your thumb would slip down to the fifth one and slowly back up to the fourth,

Two chairs sat in the living room
only one being used,

The rest of us sat on the off white couch with flowers that had been sewn in, and the rough beige blanket that was laid across the top of the couch would scratch our necks if we laid back all the way,

That old wooden rocking chair pressing into the carpet imprinting it’s legs there forever, no one sits there anymore.

Four turned to three and quickly to two,
Two passed on and the other was removed

Four years go by and the house was sold, but the memories will never vanish

I went to go get a physical the other day
My doctor asked me a bunch of questions per usual
How many ****** partners have you had?
I answered
And they all treated you right?
Never hurt you or made you do something you didn’t wanna do?
Lying through my teeth “yea of course”

I wish my mother knew what happened

He left junior year and now he’s back,
I dont feel safe in school anymore,
I told her that seeing a glimpse of his face scared me and made me nervous,
I wanted to hide,

My ex,
That’s what my mom thinks he is anyway, only an ex
But he’s much more

It took a lot of time to realize.
I thought because we were dating it was fine,
But I knew in the back of my head,
I never wanted to do it
I wish my mother knew how numb I feel inside
He took something from me and I can’t get it back

I wish my mother knew he ***** me

I wish I knew what he did to me earlier,
When someone gets *****, the body responds to it the only way it knows how,
Naturally,
It messes with your psychological state of mind
It fools our brain thinking it wasn’t ****, it was simply something else

It tricks us into thinking we wanted it...

I’ve come to realize I might be more sensitive than what I portray, but I guess that’s okay

10
What’s ten more?
Ten more tattoos is a job application gone wrong
Ten more is 9 to many cuts to cover up
Ten more is a another decimal place on the scale
Grocery store cashier “Ten more”
1 is 0’s best friend
So what’s one more?
One more again and again
Will soon add up to 10
And we’re right back where we started
So what’s ten more?
Ten more times that you will let him hurt you
Ten more is a changed paycheck
Ten more days is a week and a half to get your **** together and move on

Hey,
You wanna know what happens to  the passing smile in the hallways, and the “hey love!” with a hand hold that seamlessly morphs into a stretched arm turnt backwards in the sea of people,
When the smile goes home,
It fades and eyes water,
The lines are still carved into her  cheeks,
Smudges of charcoal placed over her hands and face,

She feels like,
a dandelion, a ****,
Always uprooted but always looking happy,
Even though it knows that they won’t stay for long,

You ever feel like you’re in a constant state of falling?
Never once reaching the ground,
Hovering the floor,
And can’t wait to touch so you can get back up again.
That was her,

She plasters a smile on her face everyday
and throws in a couple of laughs to get through the day,
She asks her self “What am I doing with my life”
It’s revolving around everyone else’s,
She isn’t living for herself anymore
She’s dandelion seeds in the wind not knowing where it will take her

You sit in her stomach
Wrapped up in flesh
She cannot see you but she can feel you

Those 9 months are like a really
long blind date
But the mandatory 9 months were cut short...

You were suppose to have a birthday
We would tell each other secrets
And you would tell me about your girl troubles
I would scare the kids off that made fun of you

I remember the day that mom was  bed bound,
Mommy was “sick” Dad told me
He said not to bother her,

She gave me a white bear with a pale assortment of colors on it,
It came with a marker so I could draw on it,
And when I wanted to change it, all I had to do was wash it,
I thought it was great.

I wish my life came with a marker
I would draw us all together
And never wash it
It would stick and become a stain

I wish I could see you and tell you how everyone is doing,
Mom has a new husband now
And dad is single  
they separated awhile ago
It’s ok, I’m glad you didn’t have to be here to witness it,
You have an older half sister you know?
Yep and a little one too,
You’re a middle child, just like me.

I wanna tell you everything
But mostly I wanna hear you speak
Tell me what you’ve been through and how it is up there
One day I’ll see you and we can catch up on life.

He said “one is lonely” I said
One isn’t lonely,
One is confident,
One is independent and doesn’t need help from another to make it happy,

One is the beginning,
One is the start to something that can go on forever,
One is me,
One is you,
One can do anything it sets its mind to,

One doesn’t need a second opinion because it’s opinion is the best one,
One says i love you and doesn’t need to hear it back,
Because one isn’t lonely

Maybe now you'll understand why
I dont question it
I don't follow rules
I dont think the same as you

She told me she wanted to die
But if she were to jump into a lake She would still be holding her breath

I told her to swim to the bottom of the pool,
and once she ran out of air,
come back up,

She said no,
But what she doesn't know
is that your body forces you to come up for air,
even before you run out
You are not put on this planet to die I said

You are put here to live,
This god made you exist for a **** reason
Your job in this world is to find your purpose
And to live through the hunting season

She told me she wanted to die
But if she were to jump into a lake She would still be holding her breath

And if standing on a tall building she would say she wanted to fly
But she wouldn't take a step off just stand there and stare

Make it short and sweet,
Maybe a comical relief
Getting hit by a bus
But then her clothes would tear

I told her you don't wanna die
Just wanted it to be over
She said those were the same thing
I said maybe, but one is a forever goodbye

Go pick a 4 leaf clover
And then you'll see
That life is more than you ever thought it would turn out to be

You were my sunshine on a rainy day
But you loved rain
And still till this day
I'm not so sure why
Maybe it's because when you woke up it still was a little dark outside
And you could sleep for another half an hour
Maybe it's because you would always try and find the sun
Because you knew it was out there somewhere
You were always a little more curious then others
You knew that there was always a way
You didn't like so much when people corrected you
Or,
Tell you no,
When something didn't exactly go as planned
You always wanted to make the best out of it and wanted to be that type of person in every situation.
But you weren't
And you tried so hard to have that peaceful mindset
But It just didn't work
And maybe that's why you liked rainy days so much
Those kinda days where it rains the night before and is carried out through the whole afternoon and back into the night
It never stops to rest
And I guess neither did you
You never cared so much if you got wet outside
You didn't need an umbrella
"The rain is gods free shower"
You used to say
Everybody would laugh and call you crazy
And some days you were a little crazy
You didn't mind though
You liked the attention
Maybe that's why you liked rain
It's pitter patter that hits the roads and makes you listen a little closer
Like an old folk tale told by an old soul
Thunder and lighting scares away the little ones
But ****
Sure does make a good rainbow
That was you I think
How you would have your times of  frustration when you thought nobody could fix it or no one understood
You settled down though
Then found some good in the bad
Found your rainbow
And maybe that's why you liked the rain

For those who watch Game of   Thrones, a short man once said "You are a complication"

He loved her
But he could not keep her, for
She made things difficult for him,
"Complicated"

Hard to understand,
What people say when they don't feel like explaining so it's just,
"Complicated"

You are an abstract art piece that no one really knows where to put,
Nobody understands it but they stare and walk away,

She was a middle school rumor roaming the hallways,
Everybody knew that it was there,
But no body really knew the truth,

It was an unrequited love,
And later we found out it was another kind of love,
Another lover,

Her life was problematic from the start,
She grew up with an abusive father and fled her town,
Mother raising her to expose herself,
For her to be exploited,

That was life,
Finding your soulmate,
Seeming like you're gonna spend forever with them,
Then one day they leave for another,
All because you were a complication...

Addiction
Noun
the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

Addicted
Adjective
physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance,
and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.

enthusiastically devoted to a particular thing or activity.

Baby, I'm addicted to you
You are my addiction  
I need you every single day to stay alive
I need you so I don't go insane
You leave me and I go cold turkey
Breaking out into cold sweats
Not being able to move
Dying without you

Time apart is going to **** me
My insides will start to feed off of itself
My eyes will burn because I will run out of tears to douse the fire

My skin will feel like it's ripping itself apart to move closer to you

I will grow wings to migrate wherever you are

I will go deaf if I am not able to hear your voice anymore

I will lie for you
I will die for you
I would do absolutely anything to keep you alive and safe and well

You
Are my addiction
And I need you
Need you for everyday that I am breathing
Everyday that my heart is pumping
Every second that I seem to be alive

I can not let you go
Can not let you out of my system
Can not let you leave without me
Move on without me
I am coming with you
I will never leave you
For you are my addiction
For you are mine

You are a cat scratch on sunburn,

A turnt backwards fingernail from the carpet you ripped up
"When You Said No But All He Heard Was Yes",

You are a nightmare of which no one can wake up from,

You are a door slammed finger,

An open heart surgery,

No anesthetic,

A person struggling for air while they are forced head down under water,

Drowning,

FISH DO NOT DROWN!
THEY ONLY DROWN IF THERE IS NO OXYGEN IN THE WATER,
AND YOU,
ARE LEAVING ME WITHOUT ANY AIR TO BREATHE,

I AM SUFFOCATING IN MY OWN CONCOCTION THAT I MADE UP

AND I CANT GET MAD AT YOU BECAUSE I AM THE ONE THAT HIT ON YOU FIRST!

Hit On You
Not Hit
Hit Me

you're a nat flying into an eye and making it tear up

but you arnt crying?,
it's not tears of sadness,
tears because you just simply want it to be over

and once you do get the nat out, it still stings, still hurts

and at this point, you just gotta wait it out

When you know what the scale is going to say at the doctors,
so you try and push your fingers up against the wall so you're a little lighter without the doctor noticing,

Drinking more water that day and putting weights in your pockets hoping they won't check anymore,

Failing to flip on a light switch and having to walk back a couple of steps to try again,

Shoving your body into a door because you thought you opened it,

Pulling a push door,

Watching when the light goes off in the fridge,

Getting electrocuted for the first time,

Scared shitless when the **** toaster goes off and you weren't ready,

Getting into a fight with your microwave door,

Locking your keys inside your car,

Accidentally burning yourself with fire,

Ripping tape off of your leg like you're getting it waxed,

Slicing through skin with paper,

Spilling water all down your shirt,

Being ******* human,

Looking in the mirror for the first time and not liking what you see,

Not liking the number on the scale,

Having disabilities,

Disorders,

Get over it?,

Shut the **** up,

Go eat a cheeseburger?,

Shut the **** up,

Weak,

Never giving up,

Strong,

Trying,

Tried,

Being damaged,

Having baggage,

Wanting people to understand you are not perfect,

Realizing everybody is fighting with themselves at some point,

Fighting their own battles,

Keeping secrets from everyone else,

keeping quiet,
because talking is not permitted and so forth forbidden...

The first rule you learn when you live in a glass house is don't throw stones,
The second is don't walk around naked,
You have neighbors,

When you live in a glass house you're mindset will morf into it,
You are so used to being open when everyone can see you and hear you that you praise the times when people can't see into your brain,
All the thoughts you have,
what you really wanna share with people but to afraid that your idea might get shut down,
But they don't have to know you have thoughts or judgements or opinions because they can't see through your mind, only your house
And you take this for granted

I walked into a 7-11 with you and  then all of the sudden I stopped and starred,
not because a loud and angry guy was screaming at his kids not to touch anything,
but because,
the coffee in the pots were cold and less than half full just sitting there on the counter
and no one was going to come in and drink it,
it would be left there to sit all night getting colder, until someone dumped them and cleaned them out, that's how I was before you came along,
I was a cold *** of coffee left over from that morning that no one wanted anymore,
you see, you seemed to drink the whole coffee *** before it even had a chance to get cold,
And if it did get cold,
You'd drink it anyway,

You got ecstatic over the thought of having caffeine in you to wake you up and make you lively again  
And I love that about you

You are different
You don't care about my non-coffee drinking past
You don't care about the dark rough grinds that took over me and made me undrinkable
You don't care if I was French pressed or keurig'd out
You still love me

You'd still love me if I was skim milk
If I was a skinny fat free latte
You love me now, even when I'm whole milk
If I became a double chocolaty chip
And I love that about you

You love my "I wanna white mocha latte",
and my "I need an iced French vanilla coffee from Dunkin' Donuts right now!",
And my "I am on a first date with this guy walking around with this amazing dude spilling a watered down small coffee all over my hands because I am so nervous, AND I DONT EVEN CARE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW IT YET BUT HE WILL BE MINE FOREVER!"

You're that kind of "I-don't-need- another-espresso-shot-but-I'll-take-an-extra-one-anyway-even-if-I­-do-have-to-pay-fifty-more-cents" type of guy,

Because in the end I realized paying that extra fifty cents was worth it and I'm glad I did
Because this is the best cup of coffee I've ever had and i don't want any other kind,

And I wish I would have tried this sooner and I want this feeling to last forever, because this feeling is nothing like I have ever felt before, it's like the first time sipping a different kind of coffee and not sure how it's going to taste and then all of a sudden your taste buds start going crazy and you lose your **** mind because it is so good,
And you want the cup of coffee to last forever, and it will,
Because you will keep going back to your most favorite and amazing cup of coffee for every day that you live

We went to Dunkin' Donuts again the other day,
We're known as the 7pm coffee drinkers,
One of the workers that's always there gave you two free to go cups,
We're there a lot....

The first thing I gave you was a small coffee with cream and sugar filled kiss,
the second thing was a gift card to a coffee shop,

I love you a latte
And you know i espresso a lot of feelings towards you
You're my 4 packs of sugar
My hazelnut and French vanilla creamer
You're the first thing I think of when I wake up and what keeps me up at night,
You and my coffee
Us and our coffee,
Surprising each other at work with a 16 oz coffee in our hands with a dumb smile on our faces

You are the reason I am happy
You are the reason I love coffee so much
You are the reason I wake up
You're the reason I ask if you want coffee
And the baristas at our school have an odd look on there face when I order not one but two cups of coffee and they can't help but wonder if there's someone they don't know about
And there is
It's you
And you are mine

I wanna be with you,
Next to you for all the ups and downs,
With you for all the hardships,
I wanna travel with you and visit all the towns,
Snapping pictures when you don't expect it,
I wanna be with you forever,
Everything we have ever done together, I won't ever regret it,
You,
Are the only person who has ever made me this happy,
You make this world we live in a better place,

You are my world,
My universe,
My everything,
And I couldn't go on without you,
When you say you love me, always and forever will I say that I love you too,
Because baby when I'm with you the feeling I get I never wanna lose,

I wanna be with you for the family vacations,
I wanna make our house pop with all the holiday decorations,
This relationship is the strongest mother ******* foundation!,
I can't put to words how much I love you and I never want you out of my life,
And If there's ever tension between us, I'll cut that ***** with a knife,

Kyle Joseph Magee,
You mean the absolute world to me,
You are all I ever wanted,
I was all locked up and you had the key,
I told you everything our first night out,
And I knew you were a keeper, there was no doubt,
I get lost in your eyes and I never wanna look about,
You hold me tight,
And I could stay in your arms all day and all night,

Your laugh and smile are the best things in this world,
Your voice is the most beautiful sound in my ear when you sing and when you talk,
You're the reason I get up in the morning,
The reason why I get ready,
The reason I don't go insane because I know you have my back,
There is no quality that my baby lacks,
Every second we spend together I never want it to end,

All of the time that we've been together has been all I have ever wished for,
And all I wish for now is our time together to be more and more

I am a broken pile of destroyed cells,
I sit in the darkest corners of the room,
No one can see me,
I like it that way,
The cold breeze drifting across my torso and up to my shoulders,
Running across my chest and neck like a silk scarf,
I was once used,
Once loved,
Once cared for,
I was once somebody's,
Then that somebody left,
Left me broken,
And now I am a pile of destroyed cells who sits in the darkest parts of the room.

She dyes her hair red so she doesn't have to slice through reality to see blood, but simply a flick of her head she'll see what she seeks in her moment of pain.

She dyes her hair red not because she likes the color, but because she is bored with her life and wants a change.  

She dyes her hair red And,
people tell her it matches the deep blue ocean in her eyes that will drown anything that comes across them,
The darkest of the seas,
The things that lie underneath the oceans that people have not yet discovered,
Her, No one knows how far or how deep she is in her own little tragedy or what lies beneath her red artificial dyed hair but,
They compliment her anyway....

Thick girls thighs,
Pretty girls smile,
In denial girls white lies,
"Bad ***" girls court trial.

Smart girls glasses,
Poor girls hand me downs,
Black girls *****,
Rich girls wedding gowns.

Wanna-be girls chameleon attitude,
Slutty girls mini skirt,
Anorexic girls hate for food,
Lost girls amber alert.

Cool girls break the law,
Drunk girls D.U.I,
Klutzy girls trip and fall,
Sad girls wanna fly.

Party girls heels,
Artsy girls love to draw,
Friend-zone girls feels,
Shopping girls love the mall.

Smoker girls pots' laced,
Indecisive girls choice,
Slim girls tiny waist,
Choir girls small voice.

Dear Sarah,
We met one brisk January night,
It was the,
16th, you looked beautiful,
in your,
white dress made up of,
Blankets, and your head wrapped in a yellow beanie,
That night I met you in that big room,
Curtains on the left and everyone there staring at you,
With you in my arms I was happy you were here.

Dear Sarah,
You were a terrible sleeper,
Babysitting you was a nightmare,
Just to make sure that you didn't have any,
I laid you down in your crib,
And when I tried to leave,
You screamed at me to come back,
I laid on the floor,
Next to your crib,
I did this until I thought you were asleep,
I creeped out of the room,
Trying not to make the hard wood creak,
under that green carpet,
Always failing the mission I heard your,
“Don't leave” in your small little voice,
Walking slowly backwards,
back into the room of sleepless nights,

Dear Sarah,
Do you remember how we use to,
turn our old,
bulky computer on and,
Listen to songs on YouTube with the,
Lyrics on the screen lighting up our faces,
Dancing in front of our picture window,
Acting like a mirror to the world,
Reflecting back what everyone thought of us, and yet,
We didn't care,
We danced our cares away,
You jammed out,
Went *******, and yet,
You were only two,

Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry,
I made you grow up to fast,
I kicked your innocence out the door,
Kissed it goodbye and let it walk away,
To never return,
You were six when I started telling you things,
Made you keep secrets,
Had you tell lies to cover for me,
My actions made you an old soul,

Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry,
It wasn't suppose to be like this,
Your nine and I miss your innocence,
I tried finding it,
Inviting it back into a tiny home,
But it left, its,
Long gone,
And Sarah,
I'm sorry.

He was the last person I loved,

6 months went by and things started to change,

Twisted words and no more kisses,

Biting my tongue trying not to scream,

I loved him,

I left him.

Dancing alone now in the moonlight,

With out you by my side,

I lay here in unconsciousness awaiting,

for my prince to arrive,

The clocks are ticking and there's not much time,

My world turned upside down,

I loved him,

I left him.

Told me you moved on,

A lie for the time being,

End of the school year went by,

Told me,

you still loved me,

How it never changed,

How I was forced to move on,

I loved him,

I left him.

I took a long and hilly road down to memory lane,
The trees concaving in,
Acting like a roof to the animals that scurry by.

Our house hidden back behind the pines and oaks,
That is where I grew,
Where I prospered,
That tiny house is where I learned to love,  
Where I learned love,
Doesn’t last.

The pond in the back,
Seemed to croak at night,
The rooster crowing in the morning behind us,
And now I awake with nothing but silence.

I see no roof covering my head when I walk out the door,
Everything has seemed to change,
And driving one last time down that road and onto another,
The trees seemed to wave goodbye.

We were seedlings,
I was planted on purpose,
He was planted by mistake,
But that didn't matter,
We knew each other's story.

We grew strong when our mothers cried,
We grew tall when our fathers yelled,
Young seedlings trying to fight our way through the dirt,
Weaving our way to life.

Our family trees related to one another,
Understood and were friends,
We were in the root of happiness,
The root to our happiness.

Roots eventually intertwined,
Underground secrets,
Slowly pulling me down,
Climbing up my limbs,
Wrapping his branches around my trunk.

Struggling for air,
Missing the taste of water,
Hoping to grow bigger and stronger then you.

His words like sap sticking to my brain,
You got to close,
Destroying the only thing I knew how to do,
The very thing we had taught our selves,
To grow tall and strong from the pain.

Uprooting everything good in my life,
Our family trees,
Now enemies,
Silence
Nothing but rustles of leafs.

And now having to move on and hoping one day,
The wind will pick me up,
Take me to a place of serenity,
Where I can begin again,
And grow stronger then you will ever be.

You were beside me and I saw your phone,
Scrolling, I realized it was not just me,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

I thought I knew you, but you're not well known,
You covering your face, you wanting to flee,
You were beside me and I saw your phone,

Your voice changing in a scared, afraid tone,
My heart broke and now I'm an amputee,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

In my mouth your words felt like acetone,
And you kept asking “do you believe me?”
You were beside me and I saw your phone,

Reflecting over how much we have grown,
Together, bad start to a family tree,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

We are both living in a toxic home,
Now screaming at you “just let me be!”
You were beside me and I saw your phone,
There was someone else, we were not alone…

This is to the under achievers,
To the wanna-be weight losers
Who aren't seeing results,
This is to the kids with drunken dads who only drink ***,
To the people who only received as little as bread crumbs.

This is to the children with hush quiet moms,
This is to the ones who lay in bed and
Stare at the ceiling praying for sleep,
But there is no God when you spell it dog,
Barking in your neighborhood at midnight.

There are other people like you,
Other people who know where you stand,
This is to the people who can't stand,
You, so you tell them to sit.

To the people who are always sitting,
And the people who told you to stand up for yourself,
And those selfish girls who told you to "sit down".
Those boys who told you to shut up,

This-This is for the ones who fought but didn’t win,
The battle you went into with only your fists,
While everyone else seemed to have bigger weapons.

This is to the children who cannot read,
But can read lips of their loved ones,
This is to the left hand writers who aren't writing,
"Right", this is to unrequited lovers,
Or the ones who speak "I love yous"
And don’t hear it back.

This is to the none swimmers,
For the foreign talkers who all go swimming,
Because we all sound the same underwater.

To the people who  can't  find their purpose,
To the ones who took a long walk off of a short pier,
This is to the ones who don't know how to tell a lie,
But they shake their  hips,
Because hips don't lie.

This one,
This one is for the non-believers,
To the ones who count by twos,
When there is only one piece of the cake left,
And to the ones who think everything is a piece of cake.

To the ones who wanna be like King Midas,
Who wished everything was gold,
So,
Stay gold pony boy,
It's a long road ahead of you,
And many manholes to fall into,
But don't fall in,
You'll-you'll be fine.

Yesterday my name was dreadful,
Today my name is nervous,
Tomorrow my name will be fine,
I'm fine,
Fine lies through her fragile teeth being careful not to shout,
For she might show emotion she's not ready to embrace.

Struggling to fight the words Fox-trotting across her eyes shut by her eyelids acting as heavy curtains that darken every inch of a room that was once known to carry light,

Thoughts riding in and out of "fine's" brain like ocean waves kissing the shoreline at twilight.

Yesterday her name was dreadful,
Today her name is nervous,
Tomorrow and all the tomorrow's to follow her name will forever be fine...

We take risks because we think "what are the chances of getting caught"
We know the consequences
But in the moment we go for it
We run across the field and hop over the bushes hiding from cops
The sirens in the distance fill us with excitement
Our adrenalin screaming in our brain
And the wind whispers in our ear "these are the chances you'll get caught"

Have you ever seen a rainstorm come in?
You hear little pins dropping every once in a while on a parking lot space next to your motel your staying at for the night,
then your hear it steadily speed up and see the glistening droplets reflect off the lamp posts' light,
and before you know it it's pouring on the old tin roof and your watching it in amazement,
questioning how this even happens and how you even got here but knowing when you walk out of this very motel room in the morning that the pavement will be wet and you'll say you know why because you were there when the gods cried last night

I'm not ok
The truth comes out slowly
And I explode
I'm hearing you
But your words don't comprehend
Confused and lost
In a world where everyone speaks underwater
And I above
Forgetting where to turn
Or what's around that known corner
Having everything
But only remembering nothing
Silence sounds like screaming
And I'm not ok

I am a broken pile of destroyed cells,
I sit in the darkest corners of the room,
No one can see me,
I like it that way,
The cold breeze drifting across my torso and up to my shoulders,
Running across my chest and neck like a silk scarf,
I was once used,
Once loved,
Once cared for,
I was once somebody's,
Then that somebody left,
Left me broken,
And now I am a pile of destroyed cells who sits in the darkest parts of the room

I can hear there indistinct voices chattering above my ceiling
Their laughter is like nails on a chalk board screeching in my ear
To think that she can share the same laugh with another man...