Since I was a little girl I have learned that a little girls voice only travels so far
And little girls’ voice couldn’t be heard over the wind
She wanted to be loud
To be heard over the lakes
To be payed attention too
  
During family parties little girls voice was background music
Little girls voice was cut off
Two words in if she got lucky
I dont know why she kept trying
But she was determined

Little girls voice would become low and loud
And more attractive to the men’s ear
They asked her about her life
As if now it was anymore exciting
Little girls voice grew and grew and she got loud
She had to
She didn’t have quite of a choice
She wanted to be heard
And she was
They heard her
They all heard her
She was listened to now,
and not just heard

Beginning at the top
You are the slinky
Meticulously moving down the edges of my heart
Hypnotized by your rhythm
Ring after ring gathering at your core
To just repeat the past over and over again
Until it all stops
And everyone can finally look away

Cry till your eyes burn
But can’t set them aflame
They’ll go numb

Pull at my throat
My tears,
they will suffocate me one day i know it

tear coming from my eye
Go back up
He can’t see that i cry

I am tired of crying
My pillow has only felt the waves of the ocean since you left
I’m tired of riding those waves to sleep

My stomach is in knots
My lungs don’t remember how to breathe

Crying in the dark is like swimming in the unknown parts of the ocean,
The quiet sobs are your lullaby,
And tomorrow will bring closed eyes at dawn from the restless night

What are we doing?
We are slowly fading away and i dont want to
But we have to
Nothing lies in the future that is beneficial
There is no progress
There is no future

I’m gonna miss you
Much more than anything in this world
But our love was like watching sprinklers twitch,
in the rain..
Speeding up to a red light,
Pointless

You planted me but did not want me to grow
Just wanted to see me rot
Kept piling more dirt on me,
Making it harder to reach for the sun
But I got there
I did
And I’m thriving...

He knew I was an artist,
he said paint me,
I painted a monster
Not only in my head but on my life’s canvas
He tainted my blue skies into black
Confused my clouds into thinking, this isn’t what I think it is,

My grass was no longer green anymore
He took my pallet knife and changed all the colors to my canvas
made me out to be the one who looked color blind
He was a criminal
He took me when I did not wanted to be taken,
For granted,
He took something from me that wasn’t for sale
Oh but the price you pay when your friends tell you no, don’t
And stay away
He’s not good for you
He’s not good-
It costs way more than money
It’ll cost you a bad memory
And a color blind canvas

Move slow and you can hear my bones creak
I am that old wooden rocking chair in your grandparents home that you used to go to every Sunday,

And every Sunday you used to set the table even though you never liked it much,
Five fragile dinner plates in your tiny palms spread across the placemats
Soon five turned to four and Sunday dinners were more quiet,
If you moved slowly enough you could hear your bones creak
When we didn’t talk you could hear the clock tick
The grandfather clock stopped ticking awhile ago but it’s a decoration now
You grew sad when you would count the plates and your thumb would slip down to the fifth one and slowly back up to the fourth,

Two chairs sat in the living room
only one being used,

The rest of us sat on the off white couch with flowers that had been sewn in, and the rough beige blanket that was laid across the top of the couch would scratch our necks if we laid back all the way,

That old wooden rocking chair pressing into the carpet imprinting it’s legs there forever, no one sits there anymore.

Four turned to three and quickly to two,
Two passed on and the other was removed

Four years go by and the house was sold, but the memories will never vanish

I went to go get a physical the other day
My doctor asked me a bunch of questions per usual
How many ****** partners have you had?
I answered
And they all treated you right?
Never hurt you or made you do something you didn’t wanna do?
Lying through my teeth “yea of course”

I wish my mother knew what happened

He left junior year and now he’s back,
I dont feel safe in school anymore,
I told her that seeing a glimpse of his face scared me and made me nervous,
I wanted to hide,

My ex,
That’s what my mom thinks he is anyway, only an ex
But he’s much more

It took a lot of time to realize.
I thought because we were dating it was fine,
But I knew in the back of my head,
I never wanted to do it
I wish my mother knew how numb I feel inside
He took something from me and I can’t get it back

I wish my mother knew he ***** me

I wish I knew what he did to me earlier,
When someone gets *****, the body responds to it the only way it knows how,
Naturally,
It messes with your psychological state of mind
It fools our brain thinking it wasn’t ****, it was simply something else

It tricks us into thinking we wanted it...