If I let you into my temple, my personal church of the redeemed

I trust you to not desecrate the children's graves

I trust you to not take my good will for granted

keep me sacred, keep me holy
keep me from falling from grace again

never take my forgiveness for granted
never forgive me unless I have earned it

break my body into smaller and smaller pieces until I'm nothing but ashes

burn my church down, throw my symbols into the sea

and once again, rebuild my holy place

any old shed will do

I will rise along with the sun in the morning
and bless you with a kiss from the light

you
make
my
heavy
heart
feel
weightless

I grew up
wanting to be you
because you were
cool and mature

the cigarettes,
the alcohol,
the ***

the peak teenage life
that this little boy
idolized

and in the end
I did end up like you

but I realized you've always been
a scared, scarred child
like me

and the life that we chose
isn't really a choice

it's the curse that came
from an old man's ***** hands

and while you tried to wash it off
you dragged me into the bathtub

and your
beautifully manicured hands
were filthy

you grabbed my wrist so hard
you might have broke it if I tried to resist

I wish I had snapped my arm out from your grip
and shouted for my brother

but I didn't do that
I kept quiet

because I wanted to be cool like you