So many
The endless tornado in my mind
Trying to get them together
Still enough to write
Unsure what will happen
But hope that will be free
Much to do
Little time
Would it be worth it
To express all that I experienced
And all that I want?

To pick up a brush
To pick up a book
To type away

All a struggle
All almost impossible
all so simple

Am I lazy
or am I tired of this life?

Its funny when I think about them
Two are in boxes
that I do not know when I will look at again

and there is a handful that I do not have
but I know every time someone's eyes lay on them
they will think of me

but it's ironic
a stuffed duck is simple to hide
but a pokemon who literally hides to feel wanted
is harder to hide

when its who you are
and you only realized it
late at night when your crying alone

Life is anything but predicable
but the words spoken
are only a memory
held by a few

Some record it
turing those same words
into a code
a string of pixels and 1's and 0's

What a weird way to be remebered
not by who you were
but the code you created on a machine
for others to execute at a later time

Full of hope
Full of dreams

I woke up bleeding
from the cut I obtained the night before
the silence of a phone
only echoing the loneliness

Thought everything would be fine
but my government failed me
And now after finally finding something
that was helping
I no longer can go

this was a good day
this was suppose to be a good day

and all I wish
is for it to end...

What have I done
Have I really let myself go
Did I really loose my intentions

So swift
So simple
So pure in intent

But was this a mistake
Was it the right call
Does the pleasure over rule the social gaze

So simple
So sweet
So innocent

Was it a dream
Or a nightmare?

A pin could be heard
The ever growing silence
Not a word muttered
But the screams echo in the mind
I sit quite
I sit still
Completely silent
As my mind tears into two

You try so hard
to be a horse in the heard
hide your horn
tuck in your wings

but the winds blew off your cover
tickled your feathers
and made you open your wings

Don't hide your differences
don't let them prey on you
embrace your difference
and step away from the heard

even if you are alone
it is better to fly above the clouds
then to be tied in the heard

Such a simple thing
The concept of looking beyond flaws
Understanding a person
Inside and out
Choosing them to cherish and hold
To guide and protect you

Should have been a happy moment
Rewatching a classic
Smiling that I resembled the main character
Laughing that I had her personality

But I didn't laugh
I didn't smile
Because all I saw

Was a little girl, who called her father a beast
And fell in love with a little devil instead

Small shards of glass
Precious and rare
Few even know they exist

But when a Angle cries
you watch not just the action
but you feel their soul in pain

The dam they created
finally comes crashing down
as they break


And with time
they build the dam back up
and smile with their glowing smile
once more

always finding the light
through the storm

"Hey"
"Miss you"
"Hope your doing alright"
"Its been a while since we've talked"
"Hey saw you were online"
"Heard from our friend you got a new job"
"How is family"
"Hope your happy"

"Still love you incase that matters."
"Hope you think of me like I do you"
"Wish you were here"
"Miss you, still"

Angle and Demon
Broke the single rule of birth
Love connected them
and brought forth a child
A perfect balance
Of good and Evil
Both proud of the child
But also know
that when the time comes
The child will bring the fall of the world
And pay the price
That they avoided
For falling in love

Large in shape
Their voice booming
Always must have their way

When I was young
I lived with a beast
who I hated

I swore when I left
to never live in fear again
I thought I was smart

As I found myself
Another beast snuck in
and settled before I realized it

Now I live with a monster
A monster who makes
every day a living nightmare

Despite the relation
I have had with my monsters
I still wish them at a distance

Is that too much to ask
for one night
with no fights?

Never met
But he feels so close
And gave me a feeling
I had almost forgot about
A feeling that was so old
No one ever came near her
The girl alone in the corner
Alone and sad ever since the break
Her love
Her everything
Left her with nothing but questions
Now another seemed to find her
Even though we have never met
His kindness make me giddy
And remind me how beautiful a day can be
Part of me wants to cry
Part of me wants to laugh
But slowly
The girl in the corner is starting to come back
Back home
Back to reality
It has only been recently that I found myself again
And I found it through music
The same song that save me years ago
The artist that is my favorite again
My mind is clear for once in years
Even after my devil made a mess
And the stalker burned all trust I had with people
After having my friend turn
Family torn
And pushed away by my own blood
Even after that
I feel comfortable once again
Comfortable to be the person I choose to be
And though it has been quite a while
Years since I picked her
The girl in the corner
The one who cried for years
Who was beaten by friends
Pushed past the point of breaking
Cast out from society
And even held her life in her hands
A simple broken, scared girl
That's who I choose to be
The one who can love and not think
The one who can heal any wound she touches
The one who isn't afraid of the world
She has dealt with everything
Yet she still walks
She walks through everything that life throws at her
And even if I write this with tears
That is who I choose to be
The innocent girl who didn’t know how bad the world was
Or how quickly a family could be torn apart
A little girl who wanted to be loved by everyone
Before the world turned sour
And the little girl changed to a scared woman
Before her world changed
Just a little girl
Who could laugh and enjoy life
And did not hate her reflection
That girl
That is who I want to be again
Kind words were a privilege before
Having to be on guard at all times
And I know I changed
A little hurting started to grow after the first one
But after the incident
That's when she had to grow up
And fight to live every day
A living hell was normal for me
Unsure if it was my last or not
It was a game I use to playback, then
When I really lost who that little girl was
But that little girl found a voice through the hell
A woman scared for life
Yet no one can see it
But woman who learned how to fight
That woman grew
Harsh words to everyone
No one could get close
She made people bow to her
Even without saying a word
And through everything
I also wish to be this woman
Because the girl and the woman are the same
But sadly is another that I know I am
And that is me
Unsure the age
But simple things can make the tears come now
But when in front of others
Nothing happens
Push away as a child
Family torn apart because of an action
Losing friends who played me
Completely alone
Screaming a silent scream
No one saw till later
After the damage was done
And things I enjoyed
I don't do anymore
Holding my own life in my hands
Having to choose life or death
And crying myself to sleep most nights
I have to own it
And even though it doesn't seem like it
I want to be all of them
A caring little girl
And strong woman
But also understanding of what can happen
That is me
This who I choose to be now
After the pain
After the fights
After the isolation
I want to be them all
Because they are all me
And now I feel like I have found that again
The missing piece of a puzzle
The complete the picture
Not knowing it was missing
Till someone offered it
A little girl
An independent woman
But also a person who knows pain
And has many scars that are not seen
But that doesn't stop her
From finally enjoying life
Once again

Mouth like a sailor
That can cut like a viper
Heart of gold
Surrounded by walls of stone
She can be your greatest love
Or the one you wish never to meet
It all depends
On how you react
Caring touch
Fingers of fire
A lovely dragon
Who does not fear a humans words
Alone at times
But allows some into her den
Few can walk away with parts of the hoard
But those that steal
Soon return what was taken
Few fight the dragon
But the scars on her wings
Show the battles she fought
And though she didn't win them all
She still walks with grace
But all know the one rule of her kind
Never betray the dragon
For a dragon remembers
And humans always taste good when bathed in fire

A raging fire that filled my lungs for years
Guided me through difficult times
My only friend when the world left
The one I turned to cheer up
Or when I wanted a good laugh

Friends and animals
All making their mark on my heart
My mind
My soul

So many years they were there.
Giving me hope about the world
Making me look at it differently
Giving me an escape when it crumbled

And now it’s over
The finals words typed
And a single promise
To be there when called
Forever and always
“The sun always comes back.”

They created me
It shaped me into the person I am
And now it’s over
Their stories are at an end

No more quests
No more hosts
No more doomsday’s
No more celebrations

Just a simple
The end
In an amazing world
Intertwined perfectly
And able to stand the test of time

Thank you for the memory’s
The laughs
The tears for those that fell

Thank you for being my friend
And let me take this journey with you.

Thank you
For
The end

Unsure about this one
Many before have come
And it not just me hurting when they leave
The first gave me my son
Then he left
The second took advantage of my son and me
The third couldn’t stand up
For my son or me
The fourth had kids
But the anger drove me off
One girl didn’t want to leave
The “Beast” or “Monster” as she called him
It was too scary when he was angry
I took her in
I share her with her father and mother
But now she doesn’t want to leave me
Then there is the fifth one
Much different from the rest
No children, from what I can gather
And beforehand, I was quick to bring my children
But I can see the damage on their faces
When the past comes up
This man makes promises
But I have been made a fool
Too much for my liking
I ask how much is real
And how much is wishful thinking
I am not easy
My life is not easy
And neither are my children
Middle schoolers now
Homeschooled because of the animals
And the training’s
The events interfered too much beforehand
This man said he understands
But how much can I trust
How much is true
In a world full of pain and lies?

A gentle hand
A kind face
She cared for others like they were own
The magician they called her
Being able to make everyone's fears and pain
Disappear for good
Magic, they said it was
But in truth
She was no different than the common folk
She had no magic
No gifted ability
Just knew how to help others
Trying to brighten their day up
Even if it was something as simple as a smile
A small action
That could mean the world to someone
She knew this too well
And vowed to herself
To not let the past repeat itself
Though the days could be rough
She held herself together
To help others that needed it
Because that was what drove her
To get up in the morning
And know that happiness
I was still out there somewhere
Even if she was meant to find it alone

He sits and cries
Tears stream down his face as his voice disappears
They have him once more
The knives and claws punctured his flesh once more
He promised never to return
Sore it on his grave
Yet the sweet taste of the Darkness called him once more
Once more, he fell
Far into the Darkness where no Light can be seen
Once more, the Shadows toy with his sense of feel
Once more, he has grown numb to the pain and agony
Her voice gave him hope
Her smile made him glow
But her sweet kiss is gone
Just like the love she once had for him
He cries silently for her, still
Not knowing her heart is with another
Hope fuels his dreams
But reality steals it away in the morning
When the world comes into view
And he is greeted to the Shadow next to him
The daily pain he swallows
To walk each morning
He will never tell a soul what he feels
The Shadows training completed
Silence takes over his mind and life
His body broken once more
Day by day, he dies little by little
Pretending to the world, he is happy
Pretending to love another
But his heart still sings for the love he lost
When he fell into the Darkness once again
Deep into the Darkness
Never to rise into the light again.

Her day is the same

Wake up
Get dressed
Put on the mask
Head out for the day

A simple item
you would never is how she hides in plain sight

Her hair pulled back.
Her smile shown
But her mind a prison.

Every day she hides behind her mask
Until she is alone

Only then she takes it off
and allows the pain to flow down her face

Her self worth shot to hell
Her beauty uncomparable
Her mind challenges those twice her age

But no one can see
how well she uses her mask
to hide from the world

She haunts my dreams
Stands right out of sight
There are times I swear I see her
But when I look, it's someone else
Not her

Her long flowly brown hair
They way her brown eyes could change
The natural beauty she has

Oh god how I wish I could go back
Go back when I had her in my arms
Go back to that moment
When she was mine

Please I want to relive it
One more moment
Please just let us have
One more moment

Because I don't want to settle for her shadow

Rising high
Burning bright

Simple phrases
Simple lyrics

unknown the impact
that it will have

Simple songs
change into lifesavers
Classic melodies
create life

Messages through a screen
ripple through lives of the unknown

Simple star
Hidden among the rest

But burns just bright enough
to help someone find their flashlight

Her screams are silent
Terror fills her mind
Each day makes her fear the next

The doctors only make it worse
only agreeing to one thing
and none can fix it

Genetics made her special
and now it's becoming her downfall
Each day is worst than the last

No one can see the pain
nor will they ever notice how it affects her

She's a little liar
hiding her pain from the world
and not telling a soul what's going on


"I'm Fine."
the perfect lie
to make them stay away


She enters her prison once again
and isolation takes her
as she stands in the crowd

Thoughts and feelings pour out like a river
Yet the body refuses to move
The drive is gone
And the feeling to move is like mud
Stuck in time
Unsure what to do
Questions and concerns seem to be constant
Yet dread is an old friend
Waiting for the fall once more
The crushing of pain
A old cruel friend
Yet when a voice is heard
These feelings
Melt away in happiness
Joy overpowers them
And the fear of falling
It is not a question anymore
When standing on stable ground
Once more

Does the wolf apologize?
Do they apologize for the blood on their fangs
Or for protecting their young
Must they apologize to those who get too close
Do they apologize for being a wolf?
Must they be punished for the actions of others
Must the be tortured by hunters
Will they extinct?
A wolf is loud and strong.
They don't back down to prey.
Even when the hunter is against them
A wolf is alone but beautiful when they run
But every beauty has a dark side
A wolf has fangs and claws
That become ****** when they ****
Yet the respect natures law
Unlike the prey who is ravenous to the woods
The wolf hunts when hungry
But respects the hunter when they hunt
And still gets caught and killed for a sport
Their prey feeds off their bodies like a leach
So, where does that leave the wolf?
Must they be punished for a living?
Must they be held responsible for the hunter?
Must the bow down to the prey to survive?
A wolf is a wolf for a reason
Kind heart when close
A cold-blooded killer, when pushed
Must the wolf apologize
just to survive?

This doesn't happen to people like me
The world is cruel
not forgiving
People who have gone through hell
don't meet their idols
We don't meet the people we look up to
because when does anything go perfect?

Full of pain
full of torment
nothing is ever easy
so why is this easy?
Maybe that's why
this feels like a dream

This started as a poem about hurt
This started as a poem about pain
This started as a poem about love
This started as a poem about heartache

Instead it is about passion
Instead it is about drive
Instead it is about hard work
Instead it is about fighting

Simple really
push me down
I get up
broken and bruised I get up

My story has torn pages
burnt ends
missing text
but it still burns for good

Was I just a book to sit on the shelf
or am I the one to be reread over and over again
because it sparks passion and drive
to get something done

Only
thats the common word now
only

only if
only then
only maybe

only

Could everything finally fall into place?
Could this only cliff
that I have been struggling to get to
finally be within grasp
and something I can stand on?

just only for a moment?

Three little words
so small in breath
so simple in action
but the meaning

the meaning creates stories and kingdoms
or completely destroy's everything

At one point, I use to belive it
Have hope in others words
But life showed me they can not be trusted

I never expected to fall so fast
I never expected to fall so soon
I never expected to fall for you

Three little words
I love you
just three words

but once more
as I admitted it
I realized I was alone
alone with a broken heart once more

completely alone in my feelings
believing there was something more
then just two good friends

Always moving
yet now its finally peaceful once more
a heart beating through the night
a survivor once more

Ticking by
one by one
breath by breath

air given to the one
who survived another battle
and made it to the other side

One more battle won
one more battle gone
in the war of Life

A fearful creature
A loving friend
We all hate it
And we love it too
It makes us come close
Weather to say goodbye or hello
But it’s a constant reminder
That forever is never
And never is forever
We take it for granted sometimes
And loose precious moments
Or we overdo it
Because we know its short
But everyone still comes to the rose bush
That everyone talks about
And even if it’s once
They stop and smell them
And they reflect in the sweet smell
And think about all the good points they had
And sometimes they make them sad
But we smell it
And remember
The sweet, sweet smell of those roses
Of peace
And time moving ever so slowly

Time ticks by
Every moment turning into a memory
Some good, some bad
But all the same
Just a moment we can never get back
No matter how much we scream or yell
No matter how much we pound our fists into the ground
Nothing can change that the moments are memories
And nothing more
Laughs and cries
Giggles and tears
All end up the same in the end
Just a thought in someone's head and nothing more
Time is simple with one power
Even though we curse it a lot
And wish it could slow down or even stop
But it just crawls on
Making us realize how slow it is moving
When we finally realise what it has been doing
Simple actions, simple power
Most hate it
Others tolerate it
Few like it
And share thee same feelings as time
Turning moments into memories
Making time stop just enough to change them
Simple moment, simple memory
Simple action, simple power
Moment to memory
And nothing more.

Why am I different?
Why am I strange?

What is simple for others
I struggle with understanding

What is easy for me
Others find difficult

Simple tasks
That are habits for some

I have yet to make stick
Despite me trying

Why am I different?
Why am I not normal
Like the rest?