Why must this idea be caged
Why must I be tormented with the knowledge
Why can I not just let it flow
like it did before
Why must it be unscalable wall
I am faced to see
Why must this story be so hard to write
Why have I fallen out of love with my characters
Why can't I write like I use to

I thought about you
the sweet night we spent under the dim lights
The feelings I had were bubbling up

Your name caused a sharp pain
Uncertainty of why
I almost reached out
almost

I reread our last messages
5 months ago
and almost broke again
form the pain your words had
the red truth

and no mater how much I wish for you
You will always be the monster
that shouts scripture
and refuses to follow it

Your image but a blur
the years skewing the memories
But I still look for you
The boy I met in the caffiteria
The teen I dated
The man I fell in love with

If only it could have been simple
So sweet to a puppy love or high school romance
but I know what we had
what I felt
was deeper then just what was seen

even as the years tick by
I still look for your angle wings
I still look for my little shadow who wanted to be you
I still look for love that you let me taste
so sweet
so kind
you accepted me for me
and I for you
despite you telling me you were not worth it

My angle
my twin flame
my soulmate
shall I ever find a love like that again?
or will your names
be the one that haunts my lips?