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She had a chest of drawers
Longings from ankle up
Paper chips of lips
A made up mind of shells and nuts

She was unceremoniously
civil
Quick to  wink
Hand chilling icebergs
An immitation belt made of mink

She sang blues in pink
While spitting out punk
Indifferent to age
Pure as road **** skunk

"It's my life , I'll do what I wanna!"
As they put her in Paddy
Drove her insanely station
"Come now my Laddie!"
Too thin
Too fat
Too caring
Too much hate
Too small
Too tall
Too bright
Too dull
Too smart
Too dumb
Too stupid
Too young
Too new
Too old
Too meak
Too strong

All lies I tell myself everyday
But I know their lies
Then how do I stop a cycle of self hate?
Demon of death
Demon of heartache
Demon of pain
Demon of loss

You follow me everywhere
Standing right out of sight
Mimicking my every step
Watching, waiting

Your small actions
Cause major repercussions
So if you come for me
Make it swift and sweet then
A pin could be heard
The ever growing silence
Not a word muttered
But the screams echo in the mind
I sit quite
I sit still
Completely silent
As my mind tears into two
Strange
When your mind focus on something
scared to breath a word to anyone

but it keeps finding ways to come up
in the most random of places
form the people who trust you the most

only if they understood
only if they knew
would they still hold you close

or look at you like the monster you are?
You be black
I'll be white

I'll go first with a knight
You move a pawn

One by one our pieces move
One by one our pieces fall

But the board holds few now
Your calculations swift
Robbed me of everything but my king
A handful of pieces for you

But was that the intent
For another game

One where your white
And I'm black
Life is but a game of chess
I'm scared of my feelings
I'm scared of how to think
I'm scared of your anger
I'm scared of my venom tongue
I'm scared of our parents
I'm scared of you leaving
I'm scared of your touch
I'm scared of my mind
I'm scared of coming close to that line
I'm scared of crossing that line
I'm scared of never healing
I'm scared of being two faced
I'm scared of your view changing
I'm scared of the unknown
Endless possibilities of what could happen


But all you heard was
"I'm scared."
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