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My mind runs
While I try to calm it with a puzzle

Constantly thinking
Different scenarios play out

One I level
One I bark
One I cave
One I snap

Each one me
But in different ways

I do not wish to crush a spirt
But if it was not just one animal
Maybe I would be more understanding

Maybe if they actually cared
Maybe I could help out
Instead of snapping

Maybe
But instead
My mind runs

And I get another
Sleepless night
The perfect way
For a farewell
Of something so beloved

Memories
Stoires
All fule a spark
Of embers in the night

Slowly smoking
Until there is nothing
Left in the morning

For tonight
Hold me close
Say I'm yours

Maybe then I won't be cold
When morning comes
Monster Monster
Take down your walls
Monster Monster
Let us watch you fall

Down through the deeps
And away for everyone to see
To remind you
You don't belong indeed

Monster Monster
Backstabbed and all
Monster Monster
Please fall
The pain
It's almost unbearable
Every time it flares
My body turns on me
The needles stabbing me
The joints in pain
The raw bleeding skin

Sometime I want to cut it away
Scope out the source of pain
But I know if I did
My feet would no longer work
Nor my legs
Important tendons
Would be missing too much
And I would probably bleed out

But would that be bad
If I'm not in pain
Anymore?
A promise I give
A promise I follow

But yet when I'm down
I refuse to reach out

for fear of that simple phrase
to be said once more
when I needed someone
"I'm busy"
It was small
like a match right as it starts
a tiny beat from a naive heart

One became two
then two
became none

One heart shattered
One heart distorted
None left to beat

One heart, Two heart
Unsure what the feeling was
that a comic fueled

One jump
One stayed
On shattered along the way

One small flame
was given gasoline
and became a wildfire

Workers are unsure if it can be controlled
or if it will burn out like before
not understanding

it's still just a match
giving light to a shattered
but beating heart
Simple thought
the application is much harder
but the idea of pressing undo

Where would my legs take me
where can I run
What can I run from

Constant hiding
Avoiding relationships
to hide from the one
I need the most



myself.....
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