Writing of the Unknown

Writing of the Unknown 1d

A fluke I saw it
A fluke I found it
It looked so real
So life like
Exactly what I saw
When designing my own

But as excitement grew
The tears started to shed
As I wanted another more
Then to watch it with you

Miles apart
Years have passed
And I still wish for you

I still remember that small message
Written on a locker white board
"Have a great day, love you toothless"

Writing of the Unknown 3d

"We want to understand!"

But you hide behind "its normal"
you hide behind "but that's just them"
you hide behind fear of what I know

Do you truly wish to understand
and invisible disability
or are you doing this
to make it look good
when I get the meeting of
"You wont try to work with us
Please take your stuff and leave."

Writing of the Unknown 7d

"But your here,"

Physically I'm fine
A little bruised
Nothing to mind

Physically I'm alright
No cuts or scrapes
Nothing to stain the seats

Physically I'm ok
Through the nods and smiles
Fingers across the keys

Physically I'm
A voice I don't recognize
Speaks to the phone
As the fingers fly and click the keys

Physically
Just stay focused
Study hard and count the days
You'll make it another day

But despite what you see
A hard worker who thrives on her job
Who wants to get excitement from it

You glazed over
When I wasn't ok
And reminded me

I was a number to you.....

"Your never a number here" A empty promise from a empty voice, who refused to see past the cash

Writing of the Unknown Nov 8

Just another afternoon in the cemetery

I should be happy
to celebrate
count down the days for their happiness

I should be happy
to enjoy their company
to embrace their warmth

but I don't want to see them
not because I don't like them
but for the pain I have

the knife in my gut twisting with every smile
with every side glance
every small loving smile
I hold it together from snapping

from crying out in agony
from screaming at the unfairness of it all

Because how can I tell them
that the love they have
the love that will last
the love I tried to explain

I was yelled at by a 21 year old upon our first interaction
and venom over child games
left deep cuts that scared

And the love they have
the love I see on them

I once held so delicately

so while they get to celebrate
and enjoy a wonderful night
and work every day to be better

I will be on my own
with the empty hands covered in scars
still hoping that something will happen

still hoping a miracle could happen
while I sit and see the name in stone

Writing of the Unknown Nov 8

Mask

I wear it so nice
the smiles so genuine
the laughs so warm

yet behind the closed doors
music blaring in my ears
drowning my own thoughts

Only then can I be me
but from wearing the mask so long
I
collapse

Writing of the Unknown Nov 2

Breath

Take it in
hold
release

take it in
hold
the anger builds
release

take it in
hold
scream a soundless scream
release

take it in
hold
accept the truth and fight back
release

take it in
hold
lash out in frustration
release

take it in
hold
wait
2
3
release with everything

until your completely empty
to start breathing again

Writing of the Unknown Oct 25

Longing of the cold embers

When the nights are cold
And loneliness creeps up behind

When the air is crisp
And the night sky still

When the flowers bloom
And the birds sing

When the reality hits
And your no where to be seen

Your name on my lips
Through the tears and time
I still wish it true

But as I accept the cold emptiness of your absence
You get to embrace another

"Was it worth it my flame?"