A single drop
A causal meet up

But anything with him
is never just causal

Feelings grow
Hearts break

Memories are sweet and warm
but his words cut like ice

Yet
I still wish for those few moments

where I was his
and he was mine

Marked by teeth
Lips swollen from harsh kisses
and everything I ever could want

Your touch
The sweet way your hands ran across my skin
The taste of your lips upon my neck
The warmth you fueled in me
A feeling I only read
A feeling I did not trust for so long
A feeling I wanted to share with you
Your fingers
mapping out my body
my curves
feeling every secret I held dear
Your desire to see more
To feel my body around yours
But yet
for every interaction
despite the warmth
the fire
the trust
you always found a wrong
at least one thing I should change about myself
one thing to change
to be yours

And yet
after all this time
I just want to feel again
even if you make me cold in the morning when your absent
Even when I can't have the family I long for
Even when I know its wrong

I just want to feel wanted
even for a hour
just once more
to remind me
I can still do something good

Perhaps
Just once
life will be ok
Life will work out

and just once
My life
isn't questioned
or pushed

just accepted
and the right things
finally happen

Because as its told
Karma is either your best friend
or your worth enemy

For once
would someone listen
here what I say and mean
not what was inked?

Would someone help
unravel this mess
help file correctly
help me live?

For one person
its another day in the office
for me
this is my life now...

If only this nightmare could end