I've loved those I didn't know
I've hated those I loved
I've broken and been broken
I've been aggressor
And defender
I've stood shoulder to shoulder
With the bravest men and women
Among a storm of blood and bile
And I've turned tail and run
In times of strife.
To me it seems
The next change in me
Is only the flip of a coin away

I can feel it.
Always ******* there.
A constant pressure.
An uncomfortable force
Pushing on my skin,
My soul,
My brain.
Deep breath in,
Flick of the wrist.
Sharp exhale.
One more slit for the pain to escape through.
One more splatter on the bathroom floor.
One more day of relief.

That means something
Very different
To both of us.
The rushing water
May work as your filter
But we both know
That to purge
I need pain
Blood
To force out the hurt.

It can't rain all the time
Says the sun as it rests
Nestled above the pulsing clouds
While wave by wave of shining silver
Give a cool respite to the world below

Neck deep in sand
Drowning in a desert
Each grain rubs raw
The nerves beneath
My surface.

You drifted off,
Around 11 O' Clock,
On line 8 of page 9, Chapter 1.
I feel a sense of pride
That my voice can soothe you to sleep.
Nobody else that I know of
Has that affect on you,
I can't wait to pick up where we left off
Tomorrow night.

I grow weary of this world
As I have time and time again.
The rush to rise in status,
To earn pointless promotions.
To find love,
To form connections.
It's an endless cycle
Of ups and downs.
To be happy on the good days
And numb on the bad to survive.
The battlements have stood barren
For far too long.
I will rebuild
And reinforce the stone.
For now I will rest in my cage
And let the world burn itself to ash
As the angels keep whispering
You will be saved
In a world that's beyond saving.

If only you knew the power you have
You never needed the depression
You've always been beautiful
I wish I could say the same

What most people don't realize is,
Death is relative.
You decide your own destiny,
Whether to go quietly,
Or to use it for your purpose.

I don't intend to slowly fade.
I plan to go nova.
Spread the heat of countless stars,
Create a black hole,
And take the entire ******* universe with me.

*Ut mori solent stellae vivere...

When I'm called home,
And the halls of Valhalla
Ring with recollections
Of love, loss and redemption.

Remember Me.

When the children scream
For their parents,
The thieves confess to the ******,
And the blood of the lamb washes over,

Remember Me.

When the Gods strike the earth,
The trees smolder and cry,
And lightning batters your cities.

Remember Me.

When your buildings fall into the sea,
When your allies are raiding your lands
When the sand and the snow trade forms.

Remember Me.

For I warned you that this was coming.
And I'm not coming to save you anymore.

When I am gone
Know that what I did,
I did for those I love.
Every life extinquished
I did to protect you.
You will not read this.
You will have no reason to
Until after I've passed.
Be it today
Or after eons passed.
I stood at ready.
My eyes were open.
I saw clearly.
I lived as I should have
Restless.
I will have died as I lived.
In blood and bile.
Though I saw the faces
Of those I'd toppled
In my dreams,
My only wish was
That the dreams ended
When I reach my final sleep.

Some are born with the rhythm,
Some have rhyme but lack imagination,
Some have all the passion,
And lack subject.
Some are endowed with poetry,
Some hunt it,
Others steal it from their peers.
I have to trap it,
And twist it to my liking.
I have to use it,
Like an addict I will do anything.
The rhythm sates me,
The rhyme feeds my fire,
The passion gives me drection,
And the form keeps me sane.
So I go from pen to pen,
Looking for the next rendition.

I'm restless,
And it seems to get worse at night.
Feel like a wild animal,
I'm itching to start a fight
I wanna find the guy that replaced me and pound him until he's flat.
But what would that accomplish?
It'd make me feel better and release some of the anger that I have.
I wanna feel bones break and skin split under my fists.
And once I'm done I'll cross his name off of my list.
The only thing about this rampage I'm weary of is if I start,
I may never be able to stop until I punish all who have fractured my heart.

Hello.
Surprised to see me?
I said I would return.
It's just happened sooner than I predicted.
I'm doing well.
I've returned,
A king to his kingdom,
A lord to his manor,
A master to his craft.
Now please, shoo.
There is work to be done.

A hall of  mirrors  only serves to show our shortcomings from every angle.
After wandering for days I'll finally drop to my knees and sob;
*I asked you too ******* **** me so I wouldn't see myself this way

A fall is not always the end,
For when an Angel may find herself
Surrounded by irridescent showers,
She can still spread her wings and fly.

Keep rolling,
Along with banging beats
And revving guitars.
Spit your verse,
On a backdrop of savage expression.
Keep rolling,
Don't let the pain of the past
Ruin your delivery.
Take a deep breath.
Keep rolling,
Like I know you will
Even after I'm gone.
Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling.

I'll face it,
The place I call home
Is just a
Smaller,
Emptier
Lonely room
To wait out the time.

A rhythmic pounding,
one-two-three-four
Of my footfalls on the cracked stone.
I feel them close behind me,
Their breath burning the back of my neck.
A crazed grin splits my lips.
*This is what I live for.

I'd like to return there
To tiptoe between the cracked hulls
Gilded with rust as if golden pillars.
Our faces reflected
In the puddles on the floor
Uncharacteristically happy
For though we were soaked
With despair
We were warmed
By an exchange of emotion.
It's true,
Passage of time dulled the shine
As honeyed words grew bitter
Yet inspiration always returns.
The boards can be fixed.
Remember, it is never too late
To chase dreams.
They are difficult to chase,
As fireflies on a moonlit night
Just follow the tangled line,
See where it leads.
I admit my eyes
Have also wandered the heavens
Pondering the outcomes
Of a million variants
Of choices made.
Just as it is never too late
To chase dreams,
It is never too late to set sail.
We may need to mend the sails
Perhaps patch the bilge,
By tomorrow we could
Be letting the water lead us
Where we are supposed to be.

In a sea of sand
A single grain
Holds the
Weight of a star
They interact
Shifting and sifting
In rippling waves
Edge to edge
If one grain
Were to vanish
The shape of
The wave would change
The edges would fold
And the sea would collapse

I remember the day vividly.
You sat huddled,
Your disciples egging you on.
Your soft cheeks and long hair contrasting the dark walls.
Blessed words fell from your lips and echoed through the masses.
The crowds whispered them.
And I could feel the eyes.
You told them you would save them.
I was a curse.
I should be deserted.
Demon or not,
I don't want your holy disease.

Life and Death
Love and Hate
A life lived ******
Is a live lived lonely

A life spent
In a mental prison
Wears on you.
We try to count the days
Scratching lines
On the walls.
Walls made of skin,
Bone, muscle and tendons.
These scars are not
A show of weakness.
These scars are a sign
Of survival.
Though some may
Shun them.
Some may see them
As messy.
I keep my scars
To show how many times
I've been cut deep
And kept clawing
Out of the pit they
Threw me in to.

So many
Broken things
In this world,
Bones, hearts, dreams,
Promises,
Yet we still
Search for love,
Redemption,
Victory.

I won't let them in
for the same reason
I won't let myself out.

Life is a road
We are all cursed to walk,
Plagued by demons
Mischievous they are,
Haunted by a ticking clock.

For we all have our end
But the folly is we tend
To prematurely surrender.

I won't be shamed
For the things I've done
The lives I've taken
I do what I do
For a reason.
My family and I
My brothers and sisters
We fight for your right
To call us killers
And spit in our direction
I once said I was a wolf
But I was wrong
For I've faced the wolf
And his savagery knows
No bounds
So we vowed to protect you
The innocent
The sheep
For the herd has us
To defend
And avenge it
The Sheepdogs

When you realize
We as a species
Are a disease on this world
She will heal
When Judgement comes
And we burn from her surface

Dancing lights,
Long forgotten remnants of wars fight eons ago.
Wandering projectiles,
Set loose from interstellar cannons that have yet to find their targets.
'Till they feel themselves pulled in,
Where they rub against the heavens,
And burn to dust within the atmosphere.

I stand in front of you,
Blood on my hands.
A monster like you've never seen.
I hiss and spit.
I rage and roar.
And beg.
I spit bile from my mouth and wail.
Asking why you won't do it.
Why you won't end my pain.
End it.
Please
Shoot me.
I'm tired of this existence.
I'm tired of taking lives,
Of destroying dreams,
Of ending happiness.
I'm tired of never having any of my own.
Shoot me again
I ain't dead yet
Shoot me again
Shoot me again
*Shoot me

It's maddening.
There's a senseless drone,
Like an audible vacuum.
It claws at my ears,
Making my head ache.
I wish the quiet wasn't so **** loud.
Because things always get worse when all I can hear is my thoughts.

Intentions explained,
Problems avoided,
Words spoken.
A clean slate has been provided.
And it will be used
Inimica est inimicus meus
"The enemy of my enemy is my friend"
I'll keep gathering enemies.
But finding a friend here and there can't hurt.