There's a pounding in my brain
Keeping me awake,
And it seems to intensify
Every time I close my eyelids.

My sorrow turns to anger,
My desperation turns to fury,
My love turns to malevolence.
I turn on those around me,
Loosing entire clips on people,
Firing at anyone and everyone,
Dreams shatter,
Pride is deflated,
And behind me I leave a path of mental and verbal death and destruction,
The likes of which has never been seen before.
My weapon runs dry,
I slam home another metaphor,
And catch someone full in their heart.
2 billion potential victims,
And I'm not gonna stop.
Homicidal speech,
Has never felt so **** good.

Have I been forgotten?
Erased from your mind,
Because of this single obstacle?
I know you see my writings.
I know you know what they mean.
Do your eyes glide past them,
To avoid the words written there?
Do you not want to finish our story?
Is it coming to an end,
Here? After we've tried so hard...
An end without an ending?
Are you walking away,
The leading role,
During intermission?
Am I supoosed to dazzle the audiences myself?
Singlehandedly?
A story with a single insane character is bound to be a disaster.
So instead I'll sit,
In the middle of the stage,
Back to the audience,
A notebook in one hand,
Knife in the other.

I feel like I'm running out of things to say,
And once my words are all written,
My usefulness will be at an end.
I'll sit,
Alone and empty,
Unable to write,
And no longer able to feel.
I'll be a shattered shadow of what once I was.
My poems are my lifeblood,
Each one a single heartbeat,
In a single moment.
Each one I write fulfills a moment in time,
Another memory in my life.
And once my emotions run dry...
I will fade.

You said working makes you happy.
Am I hobby then?
Am I a sideshow you use,
To wind down after an unexpectedly hard day?
What am I?
And whatever I am...
Does it matter?

How can it get in the way?
No matter how I look at it,
They seem to run side by side...
Forever.

I missed you tonight,
You went to sleep,
Pleading exhaustion,
Don't worry, I understand.
I'm just angry with myself,
That I was busy with other things.
After you went,
Like an addict in withdrawal,
I panicked.
What would I do until tomorrow?!
Then I realized,
I truly understood,
It will always be this way.
I will always miss you when you're not here,
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
You're ingrained in my blood,
You're stamped into my heart,
And you've invaded my soul.
I live for you.
So I finally have something to live for.
Thank you.
-Mike

You already are perfect,
So I think you mean different.
And even if you were different?
I would still love you.
My heart does not forget so easily.
You're not clingy,
You're caring, kind, and loving.
Okay, maybe a little,
But I love that about you.
It shows me I matter,
And God knows I'm clingy too.
To summarize,
Yes.
I would still want you.

Hey baby,
Hope you feel better,
And that the extra sleep helped.
I know the past few days you've been exhausted.
But you're kicking *** anyway.
Just like always.
Just take a moment and reflect,
On all you've done.
You should be proud.
God knows I am.
I hope your morning goes well,
I'll be up before too soon.
Just remember to smile.
It makes the world a much better place.
Anyone tries to ruin your day?
Don't let them.
Keep me in the back of your mind,
And smile in reply as you walk away.
See you in a bit,
I love you.
-Mike

I don't know what happened between you,
So I'll just say this.
You better PRAY she comes through this ok,
Or I will have your head on a silver platter.
And before you even think it,
I don't bluff,
I don't make threats.
I make promises.
And I keep them.
Believe me.

In my experience,
A song can convey more than words,
Which is why I'm sending you a link,
To something I want you to hear.
You tore me the hell apart,
Said you understand why I left.
So why the **** are you guilting me now?
I'm happier than ever before.
And it seems you're trying to drag me down,
With conventions of your own.
A well placed passive aggressive statement,
A line to guilt trip me.
Listen to the song.
Let it be my legacy to you,
And go away.

You're perfect the way you are.
Besides,
My measure it the density of your purity, heart and soul,
It's a number so high,
It's indistinguishable.

The feeling I get when I see your name on my phone screen, see your face, read your words. The way my heart beats faster, and I feel stronger when I think of you. The way you make me....

Superhuman.

I can say without hesitation,
I would never use words as weapons,
Against my own inspiration.
Disagreement may be inevitable,
But I intend to work it out,
Without verbal attacks.
That is what people do,
When they love one another.

The duties of the heart,
And the duties of the home,
Happen to be the same.
They both scream you.
But with the heart of a wolf,
I will never abandon the girl I love.
I am a soldier,
And I will cut down all before me,
No matter how glorified the evil.
And if I must,
I will weild my weapon with one hand,
And cover your eyes with the other.
Just know,
I will do what is required of me,
To protect this homeland,
And to protect you.
No matter how many men must die,
No matter how many rounds I must fire,
I will return to you.
And I will rest until the next fight,
When my soul builds to full strength,
And I know I cannot lose,
Not with you beside me.

I could ponder some unanswered question,
Or even a question without an answer,
But why?
Does the question "Why?" Have an answer?
Ah, I have returned to pondering.
Is it an unconscious decision?
Is it impossible to ponder without a question?
How the hell did I get to pondering ponderances?
Can I turn my brain off??
...Help...

Once again my brain and heart warred over what to say,
And the garbled half mutterings seem to have hurt you.
Well of course,
Why did I expect any different?
It always goes downhill when I talk...
I need to stop talking.
****.

If you're reading this,
Good morning beautiful.
How did you sleep?
Well, I hope.
No need to hurry at all.
Let yourself wake slowly,
Take your time.
Today is bound to be a great day.
You can accomplish anything.
And I'll be waiting for you to tell me all about it later tonight.
Remember to grace the world with a smile,
It helps brighten the day of all those around you.
I know it does for me.
Remember I'm always here.
Nothing can get in your way.
Go get 'em.
-Mike

You dared to bare your soul,
Expecting me to turn tail and run,
To grimace and turn away.
But instead I comforted you.
I assured you, we all have scars,
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
I will stay if you let me,
I'll be your sword,
Your shield,
And maybe...
Your home.

"We are made from broken parts..."
But I'm absolutely sure that together,
We are more powerful,
More able,
And are greater than any of our single parts,
Broken or otherwise.

I don't plan on leaving,
And if I do it won't be for a long while.
And even then,
I'll ask you to come with me.
If you cannot,
We will stay together in spirit.
And I'll rush back as quickly as circumstances permit.
Even as we wait,
We won't be apart.
And if ever we feel ready,
It takes but a few words.
I have no want for competition,
I'm not one for *******,
Rest assured,
Nobody else has a claim on my heart.
As for fulfilling my dreams,
It will be much easier if you are there,
And we work together towards our goals.
And the only way for this smile to become permanent?
Is for you to be mine forever.

I'd just like to make a point,
To a certain person out there.
You make you perfect.
It doesn't matter the exterior packaging,
Though society demands a "pretty face".
Society can go to hell.
Beauty is defined by the individual,
And absolute beauty comes from within.
And let me tell you,
You're stunning.
Unchain the floodgates,
Let your heart and soul wash over those nearest and dearest.
Whosoever keeps you warm at night,
Should do so for love and caring,
And not because of how you look.

#You

My writings are:
The epiphanies of a genius,
The mumblings of a madman,
The confessions of a sinner,
The declarations of a tyrant,
The pleas of a dying man.
Yet noone can help me.
Because they wont accept the fact,
That I am beyond help.
I am a God in one world,
I create and destroy.
But in the other,
I am but a lost boy,
Whose only wish,
Is to be loved.

My anger flares,
I draw my weapon,
And I pull the trigger,
My words blow holes in your mentality.
My vocabulary splatters your imagination on the ground.
I take another breath,
and reload,
Preparing to fire again.
Bang.

I do my best to shoot for the moon,
But what do I do if I actually get there?
If I survived the trip,
And headed back the way I came,
I would probably burn up on reentry,
Nothing left to hit the ground.
Particles of skin, bone and muscle,
Shredded and shot through the atmosphere.
I would travel forever,
Still waiting for splashdown.
An eternity of gritted teeth,
Knotted muscle,
And gee forces,
Ripping me apart.

When you spend time with old friends,
Those that you've know since,
Before you can remember.
That mean everything to you,
And have been there every step of the way.
When you realize the next journey,
Must be taken alone.
That you can't all walk the same path,
It tears you apart.
I've never seen my best friends,
Cry before tonight.
And I'm hoping,
This isn't my last memory of them.

If I had the privelage,
Of knowing your every thought,
I can only believe that I would cherish it.
We all see dark things,
Our minds are angry.
We all have nightmares.
But as long as we don't have to face them alone,
We will survive.

I'd like to thank you.
Yes, you.
For taking the time to read this.
I've wondered who really takes the time,
To comprehend what I throw on the page.
But whatever it means to you,
You're not wrong.
My words mean everything,
Yet nothing.
They imply love, hate, fear, courage,
And all in between.
But I'm asking you.
Yes, you!
What does all of this mean,
To you?
-Mike

To be honest,
I'm not sure what to write.
You're a mystery,
An enigma,
A riddle.
A puzzle without any pieces,
But the outline is there.
I can see you, a hazy shadow,
Chewing on the end of a pen
I can almost see your face,
But the words obscure it.
You know who you are.
I'm not declaring love.
I'd just like to say.
Thank you for being my friend.

Join us.
Walks amongst the killers.
The muggers, the criminals, the monsters.
Those with no fear,
Those with no conscience.
Walk amongst those who understand loss.
We take from the world,
Because it has taken from us.
Unfortunately, we feel pain.
And we become more rageful because of it.
We feel no love, though we crave to.
We feel no guilt.
I'm a ******, though not in the usual way.
My words force themselves through your eyelids.
Making you want to believe them,
To read more.
But that's a talent.
I use it, and I don't apologize.
-Mike

I'm just a boy,
In a beat up, red chevy truck,
With muddy brown eyes and hair.
A heart full of love,
A mind full of fears.
I regret more than most,
I do have happy memories.
But they are surrounded by an ache,
A want of something more.
But who am I to say,
That I deserve more than I have?
I don't. I've broken my fair share of hearts.
I've been broken a few times.
I don't deserve anything more.
And that disappoints me.
I like to think I'm high and mighty.
But I'm still just a boy,
In a beat up, red chevy truck.

"Mad men decide what mad is,
Turning witches and saints to ashes."
While we fight to end the madness,
Visionaries are labeled mad,
The Mad labeled visionaries.
And tis too late to recant this,
Because it has already happened.
Somewhere,
A girl sits in a padded cell,
Convinced she is crazy,
When she may really be the answer,
To all of our problems.

Things change.
For better and worse.
The tides turn.
People die.
And we try to escape it.
We strive for eternal comfort.
A pointless concept.
Perfection is unattainable,
But change is required to come close.
Sometimes to survive,
To thrive,
You must cut away the dead growth in your garden.
You must remove the weeds,
Get rid of those holding you back,
So you can come to full bloom.
I wish you luck.
-Mike

If you really love me,
Tell me the truth.
Don't tell me what you think I want to hear.
A hastily placed "I love you."
A bat of the eyelashes.
An attempted distraction.
If you really love me,
And I hope you do,
Then help me plan our future.
Our road to travel together.
I won't desert you on the path.
But if you want to leave, I'll wander off.
And you can walk the next mile without me,
As I try to find my way back.
If you're not happy,
Then go find your wants, wishes and dreams.
Become happy.
And once I know you're happy,
My own travels will be easier.

If I could dawdle,
Just a little bit,
It would be appreciated.
I don't enjoy the hurry,
Down the beaten path.
In fact,
I love to explore,
And wander off the trail.
But whenever I do,
Im pushed back onto the road,
And given a shove in what they think,
In the right direction.
Shouldn't that be my decision?
But I pause a moment,
And I pleasantly resume my travels.

To those who read it all,

They're words,
I don't know what to tell you.
They can't solve your problems,
Can't find you love.
So why do you keep reading?
Because I have felt.
And I understand.
Some tell me I have mastered this,
Though my secret is,
The timing and rhythm don't matter.
Not as much as the message conveyed.
And I have 18 years worth,
Of bottled emotion to release.
Enjoy.
-Mike

Playing with the heart of another,
Is like crossing the wires on a bomb.
If it results in an explosion,
You're liable for the damage,
And lives lost.
But chances are,
You wont take responsibility,
You'll dodge the blame like most do,
Deny involvement,
And blame the crime on the victim.

Hindsight is torture,
It provides all of the answers,
But those answers are useless.
You realize what could have been,
But isn't.
What you should have done,
But didn't.
And in that moment,
You realize,
There will always be regrets.

Sitting in a darkened room,
Hacking at your wrists,
It seemed you thought to slice them,
Would also sever your connection to reality.
But little did you know,
The pain was mine.
My heartbeat got fainter,
With every new scar,
I began to hate myself,
For not being able to help.
And as you got lower and lower,
It felt as though I was trying,
To lift you from below.
And as I fought,
To give you more time above water,
I drowned.

I identify as a monster,
Fangs invisible except at my weakest,
Claws receded into my fingers,
Eyes a bloodshot red.
From these words,
You imagine me fearsome.
You imagine me murderous.
Feral. Animalistic.
And perhaps I am.
But only to those,
Too ignorant to see my heart.

Is the difference,
Between Dream and Nightmare,
Simply Perspective?
Is what scares you,
Sets off your screams,
What I live for?
Do the wars you dread,
That I live for,
That I fight in,
Prove that even sleep sets us apart?

If I took a match,
To everything I have built,
Would anything rise from the ashes?
Would anyone rebuild?
Would I?
If I burned,
Along with everything else,
And took my words with me,
Fed my creativity to the flames,
Would anyone notice?

I am the last of the fallen.
I landed upon their shoulders,
Above the burning lake of fire.
I walked their floating corpses,
Like a hellish bridge,
Flames licking at my feet,
Before reaching a land of yet more fire.
And strangely,
I like it here.

Is Death a release?
Or a welcoming home?
Is the spectre seen with the scythe,
Really a monster?
Or is he in his own way,
Trying to welcome us with open arms?
Are we too blind to see the truth?
That Death is simply waiting for a gift,
Sent from his lover Life,
Separated from him by a spiritual expanse.
And we are merely sent to keep him company,
Until she eventually,
In the end of days,
Crosses herself.

If a clock has enough time on its hands,
Could it move in reverse?
Could the built up flow from the past,
Overcome the weight of the future?
Are some decisions heavier than others?
Is a choice yet to be made more dense,
Or do the repercussions of our actions
Tip the scales toward the future?

The glint of cold steel,
Regardless of the direction it is pointed,
Can extinguish a flame,
Never mind the time it has had to burn,
It doesn't matter,
Because a single trigger pulled,
Could end the life of a savior.

He pads,
Snuffles in the night,
Hunting through the dark,
Searching for a home.
They stalk,
As the Alpha leads,
Moonlight on their fur,
Silent for the hunt.
She leaps,
Beta on her prey,
As the others watch,
Silences her ****.
The wolf,
Curls up with his mate,
Stays always alert,
In case of an attack.
They live,
Work and fight as one,
Though they have become,
A pack, a family, never alone.

I light a match.
It springs to life and greets me.
The heat caresses my fingers.
The fire whispers sweet promises to me of love and caring
It promises not to bite me.
It asks, no begs me to let it feed, to let it grow.
So I do.
I stare up at the raging inferno.
The fire laughs at me.
It cackles.
It promised love but brought destruction.
And the one thing that was not human.
The one thing I loved.
The one thing that I trusted.
Betrayed me.
And I burn.