Leaving, but never forever gone

Someday I will return

So until then, do not mourn.

I know you’re stubborn

But you’ll learn
that I am happy.

Love is an open door
Or whatever they say

So I'll go but leave the door unlocked

Just incase you knock.

All of this isn't just for talk
I wrote you a letter to remember me in chalk,
On the cracked sidewalk

But when it rains it pours,
Washing it away

Maybe enough to ease the burns
Or seize the pain

If my fire is extinguished,

Know that it is better than fading away.
I will go out in a blaze of glory.

I wasn’t meant to stay

Movies are made of lights and shadows
contrasts between the two
sundresses are just as much for the sun
as for disappearing in the darkness

grab her wrist before she goes
she folds in impossible ways
into a letter
and the one addressed never replies to the sender
you write to her
with hopes of returning

she is the golden gate bridge
blames herself for acts she did not commit
they jump from her with lost souls
hopes of never returning

From a snowy apartment window she pulls the curtains
the show is over
you waited until the credits
and wonder why your name wasn't on the screen
but where were you during these scenes?

darkness is in so much
there's so much in darkness

Smoke my life away
Each cigarette in the ashtray
Just taking off another day
And I pray
For rain
But these fires still remain
Just another day
Until I reach my fate
A day much too late
Slowly I decay
So I'll smoke another,
If I may
I have no shame
Death is inevitable, anyway
I'll be just the same as these ashes
As in the grave

our bodies are instruments
strung elegantly
in a delicate way
almost magnetically,
as if it were inevitable
Love reaches volumes
more than measurable
we are always capable
I know it seems questionable
but without this
how else do we connect?
that's how we learn respect
each unique in their imperfect way
if everyone was the same
beauty wouldn't exist
no instrument can play itself
But together the notes sing
we find harmony
in coexitence
existing together but all in one
finally feeling free of the burdens life brings
is accepting these things
that there are bigger things than just oneself
with words unspoken
but heard and you are awoken
by ways you never knew
you can learn how to dance
if give everything a chance
stop saying you can't
now is the time just as much as the future
time never really exists
This is all just humor
created by the producers for the consumers
we always feel like movers
and the moochers, moving in on us
we, the fewer

Someday, perhaps
I will unfold
When the tide takes grasp
And you can no longer pull
Set aside all wrath
As salt water fills my skull
Leave your poison in the flask
Save my sweet soul
Without you I am not half
But I am whole

I like the way teeth are when they don't fit together
Overcrowded and coffee stained
I didn't want a string of pearls
Or an assembly line of bleached profits
Much to my dismay I was blessed with metal wires chaining my freedom down.
Two years and a mouth full of venom later they were stripped from my bones and left the enamel screaming. "Now, wear your retainer" mother says But the wiser me decides that my teeth were never meant to be straight just as my crooked mind is going straight to hell
And I like the way my best friend says my name with her tongue protruding her unaltered grin
How the 'S' sounds like a  sly snake stealing from the thrift store on the busiest corner in town
The way my heart stings as if I've been bitten
I am Medusa I try to convince myself
I cannot turn myself to stone
But there I freeze as the alarms ring

In the 4th grade I did a research project on endangered Asian elephants.
I observed her ivory face and elephants bones
And the way her heavy feet flattened the truth as she ran.
She was Amelia Earhart and was deathly afraid of heights but soared through the sky,
Off the swing and thumping onto the gravel.
She wore stripped yellow flats
And fought the boys on the school ground.
Her body all banged up with bruises and scrapes
Were achievements in her book.
Thump as they hit the gravel,
Thump as she walked away.
Her face plastered in foundation
From a cracking foundation
The house of cards she  built on the second heartbeat in her stomach fell softer than the thump thump of his tiny heart
She was an asain elephant afraid of a mouse.
She used to say cherry blossom in Japanese to prove that she was fluent
But I knew her father was american and that she was lying
Hiding his last name behind her mother's as if it brought her shame.
I helped her hide the body of her unnamed child.
Kamikaze pilot diving straight into the ground with a thump.
The planes came crashing down the day I found out and you flew back home
The pacific ocean was a bowl of curry and he was a grain of rice at the bottom
Her chopsticks avoided him with every bite
I watched as this denial gripped her sweaty palms.
Everything she ate came back up her throat.
Vomiting this truth out wasn't something she could endure
The news was a ghost pepper too scorching to swallow even the first time
So she picked the cherry blossom bud from herself and left him to wither before blooming.