I wish you could see my thoughts.
To be inside my head,
When the world gets way too much
And I don't get out of bed.

I wish you could feel my pain
To know what it's like to be me
When life seems like death
And it's all I feel and see.

I wish you could cry my tears
To try to stop this endless flow
When my heart seems like it's breaking
And my life feels so **** low.

I wish you could forget for me
All the trauma I've endured
When the night goes on forever
And my mind is so obscured.

I wish you could be just like me
As I stare into my mirror
The hardest thing I have to do
Is to learn how to forgive her.

When I wake, I feel weighted
Weighted down,
Waiting for life.
When I wake I feel lost
Losing time losing memories.
When I wake I want sleep,
Sleeping dreams make it right.

A fragile mind knows born to lose
A fragile mind has internal pain
A fragile mind is forever anxious
A fragile mind has demons no one can tame
A fragile mind sees  what most miss
A fragile mind hears the whisper of love
A fragile mind can dance to silence
A fragile mind knows of beauty within
A fragile mind lives strengths unmeasured
A fragile mind shall stand to exist.

The void of emptiness
The black of night
The sound of silence
My soul takes flight

The questions asked
The fights re-lived
The fact I'm broken
My soul takes flight

The love that's lost
The time unshared
The signs of stress
My soul takes flight

The tiresome thoughts
The preempt plans
The truth of loneliness
My soul takes flight

Foretold is a saying that holds the control
They say when in trauma your soul just knows
To stop all the thoughts running round in your head,
To protect oneself mentally so you don't wind up dead.
Your soul chooses for you fight or flight as they say,
So I sit and I wait for the choice of the day.
For so many years the choice was to fight,
Leaving me tired and empty all day and all night.
My soul wears the scars so deep yet so clear,
Fight or flight brings me loneliness,
My one deepest fear.

Laurel Selby
01/01/2025

He came into my life 12 yrs ago,
A wall of destruction, a life without a pulse
A toxicity that filled my veins head and heart
The worst comedown in my 41yrs
was rehabbing you out of my mind
Today I am free but our child does bind
She didn't see the alcohol fuelled vile
You spat in my face year after year
the touch ups the tears
The broken lives that filled this house
She only sees her dad, her pedestal is high
Today was your day as I kissed her goodbye
But tonight I am filled with so much anger for you
For her I give my strength to endure the lifetime ahead
Promises made and as broken as I
placed your evil look in my baby's eyes
Instead of kisses hello mum and a hug
I got abuse attitude and hatred tonight

Because of you,
I AM THE BAD ONE


29/03/2012