And maybe a goodbye is all I'll ever miss.
And I'll offer you these words instead of one last kiss.
And I'll offer you these secrets like lullaby's.
So you'll have something to sing you to sleep besides my tears.
And I've now bestowed upon your crescent shaped ears.
A love I'll never find again.
Parting with you was my greatest fear.
Now I'll die alone like all those sailors that sung you to sleep.
Just before they realized you were a siren hidden below the deep.

So submerge me till my head is buried long beneath the tidal waves of our hearts lost desires.

And mend my flesh like I knew you would when I opened my heart large enough to let you swim in it.

I just didn't think you'd set fire to the ocean but you conquered the impossible to me.
When I realized I still had room for love.
So thank you for sending that rush to my blood. One last time.
No let me close my heart again, to the ocean deep.

Everybody loved her and I didn't understand why.
She was a klutz a jester,
That laughed to pass time.
And I was annoyed of the world for reasons not known.
Maybe that's how I feel for her,
Because her laugh was like mine.
And I never knew it until I picked her up for our first ride.
And she was free like my imagination of adulthood.
The car ride was quite with my voice.
But riddled with her laughter.
And I was so confused,
About whether it was genuine or plastered.
So I cleaned my head and the car ride was still.
Until
She felt comfortable enough to share with me,
The world she had built.

And all I want to know is your world.
If you'd let me explore it.

And I write these words like I'm talking to you in person.
Like you'll somehow hear me.
Like when it rains you forget your umbrella and embrace my secrets like tiny droplets that brace your skin.
And all I want is for my words to take a physical form.
Because I've never been beautiful but with you I felt like so much more.
And you'll never know that.
I didn't even try that day it snowed.
I didn't need a coat cause you shielded me from the cold.
And that blizzard seemed like a sunshine followed by a rainbow.
I just wanted you to remove these holes in my soul like I removed that empty space between your smile.
Because I could always tell when you were faking it or when you knew we wouldn't last a while.
And I'm writing this poem because I couldn't find another way to say I love you.
Because when I see your face I fall for you.
Again
Again
Again
Again.
And I've never been so sane until I knew you.
You were like the nector from honeydew.
You were like every reason I made an excuse for forgetting my car keys.
So I could make an excuse for our time together to never end.
But I guess that was my fault.
Should've known you can't buy time with a pen.
I can't rewrite the end
I can't even write a love letter to you without making it seem like I'm making amends.
Like creating a sense of writers block will cast a shadow long enough to outcast my ambitions.
And I wish I could offer you more than my love.
I wish I could offer you my being.
Maybe that would be enough.
A collection of memories spawned in my head.
Like shifting gears to a clocktower that was long past dead.
And this grandfather clock was rigged from the start.
It chose to rip out pieces of my heart
When the dial striked 12.
And just like I knew every night I'd go to bed loving you the same.
But never have that in return.
I wrote this because I don't know how to say I'm in love with you without being straight forward.
I wish I could say it in these words.
And then maybe you'd fall forward.
And I'd catch you not looking for a reward but so my heart would leap out of my chest. And maybe you'd feel my love when it left.

Because I'm sweet.
But maybe she's heard sweeter.
And everybody has a sweet tooth.
But lately mines been bitter.
And I didn't want her teeth to fall out like mine did.
I was just exposed to the reality of love biting.
And I never liked sweets to begin with.
I prefer my coffee bitter.
Like the space between our mattress when you stayed over that one night during the winter
Like the gap in our eyes when I stare at you while you stare out the window.
And in the moments I get your glance a sense of caramel melts over me like apples at a circus.
And these occasions are sweeter than red wine on a candy glass carpet.
They're only special in the events of our loneliness
Like two lost souls looking for a purpose.
And maybe we went separate directions because your sweet tooth was held over mine.
And I never liked candy in the morning just at night so my nightmares would be sweet.
And every time you stirred splenda in my coffee I held back excitement in my content.
Only so before I sipped you'd see my smile thinking I loved it.
But really I hate splenda.
But I love any coffee made by you.

What if on that night I told you I was in love with you?
Would these steel seams melt away?
Would this collection of misguided dreams dissipate in the rain?
Would you have been mine and everything would've stayed the same for the years that've passed us up and locked away our inner emotions?
Would you have ever felt that way?
Why did you ever tell me you loved me the same.
Because since then all I've ever wanted is to kiss you the way we kiss in my dreams.
Or my nightmares I should say.
Cause every time I day dream about you I think I'm in hell.
Forced to remember all the good times we buried in those hollow wooden caskets sealed tighter than any imagination I've ever had of runung away. Sealed tighter than my hopes when they sunk to the bottom of the ocean each day you found a new suiter.
A new body of warmth and comfort because no matter how many times I loved you at my most.
My most was never enough.
And what does that say about me?
How am I supposed to breath?
When I wake up to a decreased oxygen tank you've pocked tiny holes into so I couldn't breathe.
And I don't want to breathe
Knowing you'll never be with me.
So maybe being the shoulder to cry on is all I'll ever been.
Cause you'll never see past the dreams and realize our beauty.
You'll never see past the outcast
Of our short lasted opportunities.
Like little white lies told when knitting.
Its just now that I'm seeing with my own eyes, why the thread is becoming undone.
Because this sweater of love you knitted me.
Was just a pity gift amongst throw aways you've hidden beneath.
And what hurts the most is knowing you've never lied to me
You've never intentionally hurt me.
You've only accidentally crushed my soul.
And for that I'm sorry.
I truly can't take anymore.
So take me back to that night we ate sushi.
The rain pelted but our voices made it seem like butterflies dancing in the spring.
Window wipers were a distraction to block out awkward air.
And I could've said I love you.
Right then and there.
Please take me back to that moment of serenity.
Because now my emotions are just reasons for you to forget me.
And saying I love you.
Never let's me sleep.
Annie

Scabs congregated by blood.
Scars prone to love.
And like artery's we contract these air vesseled halls.
Collapsing in on ourselves when lost love.
Maybe that's why I can't breathe lately.

Like tiny lintel beans full of light your skin shines across the waves of your smile.
Like tiny glimmers of hope I'm captivated by my sensation my intuitive fixation on love.
Like a pirate lost to sea I fall in love with the ocean when I never had sea legs to begin with.
Glimmers are reflected.
Like your taste in music and taste in habits and taste in speech and distaste in me.
Glimmers given false hope to sailors tormented by the sea.