The endless cycle never fluctuates
It always cries like child and yells as parent
no way to crack its code or intervene
we try to slow and grab with hands too full
unable to comprehend the force against

Lola laughed.
A light liberation that could conceal her throbbing throat.
It was easy to do when most people painted her with warm wine and black blood.

I feel like walking around a crowded place
Alone of course

It must be outside with lights
And filled with people of all ages
Dogs too of course

I will put in my songs of sorrow and regret
It will make people glance and wonder
But it will entrance me with such an illusion, that of course, I must be happier.

As the door starts to swing closed
And the sun is about to depart
I close my eyes and reminisce in it’s lasting warmth

I reach my hand
In efforts to preserve
The only light I had left
But that too had to go

I’ll remeber the vivid lights that blurred into sweet complacency
The way the clouds cover all the blinding spots
So that I was never harmed

like the curtains covering the windows
I am blinded to the magic
The joy I once knew

Alas I am here
Alone
All bye myself

Like the nightmares I’ve hidden
Lodged deep and splintering my soul

I give up
I let free
I undo all that ties me down

Acceptance

All alone
Alas that it’s the end
Bye

Softly close eyes
Before they rupture

They may dance inside your head
And beg to come out
But whatever you do
Don’t open.

Because if you do
People will notice
People will “care”

It’s too far gone for that.

Im sorry
Im sorry but their eyes are still closed too.
Does that make you feel better?

Binded by our blindness
It couldn’t get any worse

I come to you
Closed hands
Shaking

But you can still see what I tried to hide seeping out through my cracks

I have holes that can never be filled
So in that way
I am open-handed

But unwillingly.

I’m not sure I make sense anymore
Should I just stop taking

You try to calm my shaking hands
But you will never understand I can’t
Or I’m afraid to and you see that

What would happen if i let you see?

You promise to accept me
To forgive me now and in the future for my ways
But it’s not that simple

My hands are open
And closed
Entirely out of my control

Push one button and I’ll drop dead or spring alive

It’s all relatively shakey