Beautifully composed
I sit and wallow
In the absence of you
The painfully cold air that consumes me
Surrounds my every thought and movement

With every glance I am rewarded a lash
To my back
To my heart
In my gut
My eyes
My throat

Consumes me whole until I myself become the weapon
And I start to lash on my own time with my own reasons

And I don’t need to see you anymore
Because your presence stings for a while
Like an phantom limb

Hi !

Do you feel like talking today
Do you care about me now
Have I crossed your mind even once

It’s ok

I know you are busy
My bad for bugging you
Just act like this never happened

See you.

Like the grass after it rains
Or the mountains when it snows
You renew me
Or you trap me
I’m not sure which is is
Or I’m afraid to admit the truth

There is so much excitement when you are near
Eagerness for your presence pushes all things aside
Good and bad
Real and real

You are not a myth or a ledgend in my story
You are a special guest that comes once in a while and changes everything
But our story together was never written and I was never informed
Or I ignored it

Thinking I could change what was set
Thinking you could wash away what ate  me up inside with when really you put a lid to it
You trapped my fear between us and smothered it whole
It had no space to breathe
But it was close enough to feel your presence
So it stays there painfully with no where to run

A painful unrequited love

What I miss most?

I’m not sure
Could it be eyes that talk
With not sparkles nor diamonds but with deep colors that blend with mine
a pool of warm honey
No, it’s not that perfect

With cold hard reality
We would struggle together
And our problems would fade like the lights when driving in a fast car
A fast car we could control with our love

I miss that
I’d miss that

Tamara sat toes strung to sea
Her haggard head hung high
Not by want. With bewildered noticeably

Outstretched hands opened hopelessly
Wounds concealed without concern
The sand fueled the savage feeling

Lying down to lather in deplored thoughts,
Ones too personal to occlude

Time was lost within Tamara
Tamara was lost within time

Lost within the waves
The sand
The sun
And everything in between that drove her insane

My car ran out of gas
I saw the signal flashing at me for days  but there was nothing I could do
I was on a long and empty rode
No rest stops

My windows were fogged
All of them except the rear view mirror
Isn’t that convenient
Blinded trust is all I had
No clue to where I was heading

The radio was broken
Just when I started learning the lyrics
The channel would jump to another
Stopping at sad tunes and skipping over the happy

After a while of sitting there
I got out of the car and began to walk

I walked and walked for days until
I reached a town full of endless possibilities
But when ready to start my new life
I had realized I had left my identification in the car on the border of the past

Stuck in my car
Unobtainable
And forever at my loss