Better grab some while you can.
Remember when you said "no, you ain't my man?"
Years from now you'll be alone,
and I'll be writing novels, my talent full grown.
A single tear from your eye will fall,
but don't even bother wasting time making a call.
You made a decision, now you gotta live by it,
and they'll be paying me to speak, tv and ****.
Someday, your boyfriend will by a book,
he'll read you one line from it and you'll know its me without even a look.
You have a man, he's on your arm,
when you see my name on the shelves, I'll be long gone.
You'll realize what you had,
but you threw it all away, you must've been mad.
Someday, you'll see that it's all true,
no need to debate, I'm the best at what I do.

You might be thinking "****, this boy's arrogant"
but you gotta fake it 'till you make it and then a little more.
But for now, I'll sell my **** to buy drugs
and when I'm all out of **** I'll start stealing
and when I've stolen everything, I'll start earn it.
And when I've earned the highest accolades
I'll just smile
because I told you so,
and you told him he was the one.

Someday you'll cry because there won't be a sunrise,
and you'll realize the mistake you've made.
I may be a loser ****** right now,
but the next bump will be last
just like the one I blew five minutes ago
just like the first time I ever tried it a high school bathroom
just like every bump in between.

It's hard,
but I'll be able to accept it after a few more shots,
a couple more hits,
and maybe a line,
but as I am in a semi sober state
it is hard to believe.

Hard to believe that you chose him over me,
hard to believe you swoon around him,
and don't bat an eyelash at me.
It's hard to believe he's my best friend
and I'm letting him do this.

I have some books
and their pages stay crisp
and they remain clean
kept in a state
of perfection

I have
no holes
in those sweaters
that stay on the shelf
(those that always
reminded me of you)

what I love
I destroy
(it wasn't meant
to happen with people too)

Be careful sharing your heart with me.
I fall in love with those who open up.
Like a levee breaking
my love with flood in to your heart.

It will be beautiful and it will be fierce
and the currents will be of a Biblical magnitude.
So please be careful;
you're far too pretty to hurt.

We came
together,
joined at the hips
and the lips.

With our words we shared stories
and with our mouths
we opened up to each other.

We were aware of each other
for quite some time,
at least me of you,
but we shared only a few
memories
and only two
nights.

One was spent in the cold.
On a couch,
with alcohol
and sweat
and nicotine
and only one blanket,
but you had me to keep you warm,
and you kept me plenty warm.
You left early in the morning,
and I kissed you before you left.
I tried to go back to sleep,
but it's hard to sleep when you're smiling.

The second time was warm,
in a bed,
with marijuana
and nicotine
and my best friend in the next room.
We kissed
and we kissed
and we kissed
and we slept
and then we kissed some more
and in the morning it was my turn to leave early,
but you kissed me before I left
and I hope you were able to sleep.

You're out of sight
but not out of mind.

I'll write about you
for as long as I want.
Unlike these
drugs
I am powerless to
I can quit you.

And so I will write about you until you love me
and I will continue to write about you until you don't.
Because everything fades, and everything dies,
and just like the spring,
your love will fade,
if it blossoms at all.

I was always a needle kind of ******.
My friends thought I was crazy, and I suppose I was.
They say to take baby steps,
but addiction never works like they say it should, does it?
I went from *** to pills to blow to needles just like that.

It was nice though,
seeing how I've always been a fan of instant gratification.
Tie the knot, heat the junk, wet the cotton, **** it up, slap the veins, stick it in, get high.
Easy as pie, nothing can be simpler.
Nothing could be more complicated.
I've been home for ten minutes,
and I promised myself this score would last me through the week.
I'll be happy if it lasts the night.

My track marks were starting to fade,
due in part to probation,
and also in part to the love I've been surrounded with.
Who needs to shoot up when you have people to love you?
Me.
A ******.
A loser.

I would like a million things,
and a million more,
but why would I want things,
when I can score.
Nothing could be simpler.
Nothing could be more complicated.

The sun is setting earlier than it did yesterday,
and you look nicer than you did yesterday,
and I think I love you more than I did yesterday,
and I'm having more doubts than I did yesterday.