You're scared that I'm going to hurt you. That you'll be scattered in pieces on the floor.
Well I'm not sure I can deny that. I know how destructive I am. I know it from the blades I drag along my skins and the fingers I stick down my throat after every meal. I know from the way I imagine killing myself like a glowing exit sign in a cave darker than a new moon night.
I'm not going to hurt you yet darling. And know that it's not my intention
It's just that I love things too hard and then not at all
Like I love to fly
But more the fall

I want to scream "*******"
from the top of my lungs
of course, Darling, I don't mean it.
You're always my number one

It's just that these days,
I thought I was getting better,
it's just that this is crazy,
and I wish you'd never met her.

I wish I didn't leave you alone in that town
or that I could go back, knowing what I do now.

Lover can you hear me? I'm screaming your name,
though it's worn out across 50 or so states,
my throat is getting sore, and these smokes,
they don't help.

But they give me a sense
of the love that we felt.

a language barrier isn't a problem,
if you let your body do the talking.
or if the boy you're talking with
doesn't care about the words you have to say

It was a grand 'ol party
with people I'd never met
and they looked at me with awe
i was interesting
and different
and jesus christ, was i wasted.
lights were blurry,
like most of the memories
i have of that night
but i wont ever forget
how real it felt.

I don't need to use a metaphor.
for the way our love erupted and took over a town
For the way there would never be enough water to quench our thirst
Or the way
your oxygen
gave me life.

I was in love. Never again.

Dear future me:
Please be forgiving.