Our immediate discomfort always feels so wrong
Aren’t we all meant to get along?
It starts as simply as the set of their jaw
Before long it’s their toneless guffaw
Then their mere presence becomes an intense irritant
And you fight to suppress your instinct to be militant
Forget the initial dislike that began to percolate
Now you fight for control as you hyperventilate
Digging deep for composure you seek compromise
But then you recognise the mutuality of warrior steel in their eyes
You know they know
What to do; step away or let it be so?

The fervour of his lips, the ardent clasp of his hand
The shimmering, velvet, chocolate skin complements my linen-scape
Dulcet, earnest expressions of my beauty
Our statures cement as one
Happiness bewitches me
Surely I am now, finally, truly loved

Seasons pass
The invasion of psyche, the violation of flesh and bone
He is collectedly smooth and concise with his moves; I smell the menace, sense the forthcoming extremity of the moment
He is feral, I am broken
BUT, surely, I was finally, truly loved

The sun and the moon waltz
Shadows trail me; fear still a stride from being vanquished
Stillness and peace yearn me
I sink deep within, seeking fuel, consuming resilience, grasping hope and faith in repose
I am beyond
Surely I will finally be truly loved

Pure and beautiful , I snatched your light before your golden halo could grace this world
Be still and peaceful aside me, sense my seeking of your spirit
The sun shines on your brother, your feather-light fingers entwine his artistry and you delight in the rich, warm, brown depth of his eyes and the red, cherub lips; his smile embracing you
Were it that he knew, he would welcome you, love you, nurture you; were it that he knew
Know that I grieve my denial of your bounty on this earthly world
I pine that I may join your heavenly being
Please - be still and peaceful aside me, sense my seeking of your spirit – forgive me

That clever fine line, so subtle in form
En dormir yet greedily alert to vulnerability
Nimble tentacles easing you over
Once steadfast, comfort in being
Then slippage, slow, painful crumbling, curiosity grappling with descent
Transition seamless as a lullaby yet fiercely combative
Happiness, contentedness, numbness, collision, abyss
That clever fine line, so subtle in form

Rage, relentless shackles tortuously restricting the beat of my sole drum
Wailing child, aged’s bell, muffled canine whimper beckon
Tempered resignation and guilt overwhelm anger, their bidding masters me
Unequivocal love, they want and need me, as I they

I am emptiness
I have a heart that beats, but no musical echo rhythmic to the rhapsody of life
I have eyes that see, but murky grey scenes abound, no rainbow splendour
I hear, but pitch and tone flat-line, no cacophony tuned with life’s harmony
I smell staleness, bitterness, no glory in aroma
I touch numbly, textured satin elusive
I am emptiness