when i'm upset

i shut myself down.
i have no motivation for anything,
i tell myself that nobody cares,
even though i know some do.

i think about all of the negative things
i could possibly think of.

i give myself all the pain,
thinking i deserve it.
i'm not sure why i do that,
but that's just how i am.

Baby you’re so lovely

I want to make you mine

You say that you care

But never invest the time…

in me,

I just want to sit, maybe drink some dark tea.

While you tell me all your thoughts,

the world inside your head.

And maybe if you ****** my mind,

I’ll end up face down in your seductive bed.

I want to take long walks,

maybe hold your hand.

While watching this beautifully corrupt world,

with the muted silence.

Side by side where we could stand.

But you don’t want me,

you never really did,

you pretended but I wasn’t

all your ****** urges that you hid.

And then we were together,

an illusion of happiness you put me in,

remember that night? committing the dirtiest sin.

Where both our souls intertwined on another,

But now it’s like we both barely even know each other.

But now you’re tasting her.

Does she even taste the same?

You hurt someone who would never hurt you,

that’s why I’ve devoted the rest of my life to try and forget you…

But day by day is a struggle.

As every thought I’ve ever thought of consists of you,

As the way you talk, the way you move,

The way your lips form the most perfect smile,

The way your hands fit perfectly into mine,

the way your breathe and our sync heartbeats,

Like a metronome. Our first kiss

the way our tongues caressed each other-perfectly

making my heart melt.

But I,

could write similes on your body,

because metaphorically it’s a pen of elation

&you;; my pad which withdraws the creation,

of the art in which portrays a picture of ‘us’

but the thought of you and I,

was all just a pretty picture,

which faded in the drift of air.

baby you’re so lovely

I want to make you mine.

you say that you care

but never invest the time…

in me.

I just want to sit maybe drink dark tea

In life, you meet people.
some you never think about
again
some, you wonder what happen to them
there are some
that you wonder if they ever think
about you
and then - there
are some you wish
you never had to think about
again

'but you do'

there are two types of sadness;

there's that kind
that i want to get rid of
so i watch friends
listen to happy music
find someone to talk to

then there's
the other one
when you know you're sad
but you want to
isolate yourself
and just drown
in the pool of emotions
listen to sad music
read quotes about life
write poems
drink tea
and
basically just feel empty