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chinupvee Apr 2014
when i'm upset

i shut myself down.
i have no motivation for anything,
i tell myself that nobody cares,
even though i know some do.

i think about all of the negative things
i could possibly think of.

i give myself all the pain,
thinking i deserve it.
i'm not sure why i do that,
but that's just how i am.
chinupvee Apr 2014
i suffer from
that kind of
sadness that only
creeps in the
darkness of night,
forcing tears out
of my eyes.
  

                              i suffer from
                              that kind of
                              sadness that sways
                              in your ribcage
                              for days, destroying
                              every heart vessel,
                              that soul-blackening
                              sadness.

[v.c]
chinupvee Mar 2014
Baby you’re so lovely

I want to make you mine

You say that you care

But never invest the time…

in me,

I just want to sit, maybe drink some dark tea.

While you tell me all your thoughts,

the world inside your head.

And maybe if you ****** my mind,

I’ll end up face down in your seductive bed.

I want to take long walks,

maybe hold your hand.

While watching this beautifully corrupt world,

with the muted silence.

Side by side where we could stand.

But you don’t want me,

you never really did,

you pretended but I wasn’t

all your ****** urges that you hid.

And then we were together,

an illusion of happiness you put me in,

remember that night? committing the dirtiest sin.

Where both our souls intertwined on another,

But now it’s like we both barely even know each other.

But now you’re tasting her.

Does she even taste the same?

You hurt someone who would never hurt you,

that’s why I’ve devoted the rest of my life to try and forget you…

But day by day is a struggle.

As every thought I’ve ever thought of consists of you,

As the way you talk, the way you move,

The way your lips form the most perfect smile,

The way your hands fit perfectly into mine,

the way your breathe and our sync heartbeats,

Like a metronome. Our first kiss

the way our tongues caressed each other-perfectly

making my heart melt.

But I,

could write similes on your body,

because metaphorically it’s a pen of elation

&you;; my pad which withdraws the creation,

of the art in which portrays a picture of ‘us’

but the thought of you and I,

was all just a pretty picture,

which faded in the drift of air.

baby you’re so lovely

I want to make you mine.

you say that you care

but never invest the time…

in me.

I just want to sit maybe drink dark tea
wrote this poem for my sister, who was going through a rocky relationship with someone who she onced & still loves; it was my first poem i ever wrote for someone
chinupvee Mar 2014
In life, you meet people.
some you never think about
again
some, you wonder what happen to them
there are some
that you wonder if they ever think
about you
and then - there
are some you wish
you never had to think about
again

'but you do'
chinupvee Mar 2014
that girl in the photo,
who wears a smile upon her face
with twinkles in her eyes
and a skin that glows
you have no idea

you have no idea
how once struggled
in finding herself
and fighting for her
many dreams

that girl in the photo,
she once cried for
365 consecutive days
and suffered eight years
of depression

that girl in the photo,
she once thought that
her body was fat
and starved herself
for days

that girl in the photo,
she once hated herself
for the way that
she wasn't perfect
in any aspect

that girl in the photo,
she was a wallflower
who was thought to be
anti-social because
she was quiet

that girl in the photo,
she had her heart broken
one too many times
and lost herself
in so many ways

that girl in the photo,
you have no idea
how much she cried
and wanted to end
her precious life
chinupvee Mar 2014
please do not tell me
that i am beautiful,
right now because i
cannot help myself --

i will inhale your words and
then swallow them and absorb them
into my veins and my arteries
and they will stick like honey
and burn like arsenic
because they are such
lovely
little
lies.
chinupvee Mar 2014
2 am is for the poets who
can't sleep because their
minds are alive with words
for someone who's not there

for the alcohlics drinking
themselves into amnesia to
forget someone who left

2 am is not for the lovers
asleep in each other's arm

it is for the lonely.
the ones who are in love
with the loved
but are the one's
who are not loved
in return.
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