Sanity is relative.
It depends on who has who
Locked in what cage.

And it's that relativity
That keeps us alive.

Well. Most of us.

People try to understand.
But they aren't wired the same.

They're wired to accept.
Not the "crazies."
We see past.

Past the veil which you can't see.
Into the void of curiosity.

And we find the answers.

If only I had a chance.
To do something meaningful.
To save a life
Or inspire greatness.

But I'm not that kind of person.

I'm not ambitious enough
To do something meaningful.
To make a difference.
To have the world remember
Not me, but what I did.

I'm not helpful enough
To save a life.
The world is too full anyway.
I'd never make enough sense
To even save anyone.

I'm not good enough
To inspire greatness.
I'm not a good person.
And I hate public view
So I don't think about standing up.

I'm not that person.

I haven't been since lower school.
When I still dreamed big.
When I still loved wonder.
When I was afraid of storms
And the boogeyman lived close by.

That person no longer exists.
If only I could go back
To make sure that person lived.
But by doing that
I'd erase me. And everything I am.

I don't want to sleep
But I'd rather not be awake.

I'm too tired to care
But I'm not tired out.

You could say I'm confused
But it isn't truth or lie.

I'm not happy or sad,
No anger or peace.

Maybe it's a hole.
Maybe it's Everest.

It might be a brick wall
Or even a tailwind.

But one thing it is,
The one thing it can never change.

It's empty.

Sitting and standing apart.
"Join us!" But they do not know.
I'm happier here.
Away from it all.

I'm used to it.

"Are you okay?"
"Is something wrong?"
Deflected so much
They no longer ask.

I've learned to cope.

"You look so lonely."
Don't worry, I'm fine.
I'm used to it now.
I've learned to cope.

I chose this for myself.

I live in a place
From which no one can return.
But who ever willingly comes?

No history of abuse.
No bad family life.
So what happened?

I could not tell you.
How would I?
I do not even know.

It's funny though.
They search for symptoms
But I don't show.

I've fought for so long
I learned how to cope.
Maybe even too well.

Is that it?
The big secret?
Be happy.
Be friendly.
But why should I be fake?

Society celebrates inclusion.
But it burns progress at the stake
Like a witch that has to die.

"Don't worry.
Be happy. "
But why?
Why should I?
I'm not.



So I won't.

Ingested or injected
But that's not what it is.
Leaching, diffusing
Corrupting what is.

It's in the air,
It's in the water,
It's in the soil 'neath our feet.
It's in our blood,
It's in our bones,
It's in the food we love to eat.

Though we can't see it
It's always there.
Hunting, preying
On the unaware.