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 Jul 2018 Underneath
AAron Roz
 Jul 2018 Underneath
AAron Roz
do you ever feel like you're on the edge of a knife?
 Jul 2018 Underneath
AAron Roz
 Jul 2018 Underneath
AAron Roz
I hate being alone.
I start to pull my hair out,
I see things,
I go insane.
Little by little.
Cut by cut.
Blink by blink.
Breath by breath.
Being alone, is my worst fear.
 Jun 2018 Underneath
blue mercury
kiss me in your backseat
like nothing has ever been like this before
'cause you kiss like a promise
like you have never wanted anything more
than me

and just maybe, i'm crazy about you baby
and i guess it's a mess but i've always loved messy

and with your lips on my neck, i feel like the best is yet to come
and with my heart on my sleeve, i hope you can see it beats like a drum

and i'm wrapped around your finger and my gaze might just linger on your face
and i can't help but notice what we've made of this moment in this place

is beautiful
you're beautiful.

in the streetlights, with your brown eyes looking into my heart
hold me tighter, with your bright lights lighting up the dark
you're lighting up
i wanna give you wild love, the kind that never slows down
 Jun 2018 Underneath
AAron Roz
 Jun 2018 Underneath
AAron Roz
I could feel his warm breath against my ear.
His arm was slung around my waist.
Hours before, we were partying as hard as normal teens,
but we
aren't normal.

We are us.
 May 2018 Underneath
AAron Roz
 May 2018 Underneath
AAron Roz
Do you ever
have times
when you
need to
get away
from humanity?
When you
feel people's
eyes on you?
When you
hate how
see you.
 Apr 2018 Underneath
Luna Fides
The first thing about suicidal people is that they're not always the people who lay in bed, cry or sulk in a dark room. In fact, that’s a common misconception. Most of them, are highly-functional people. They laugh, talk with their friends, go to work, go to school, whatever. They do the things they need to do. It's part of the routine. But they still feel that they don't want to live anymore.

You see, just because they do things living people do doesn’t mean they’re not dead inside.

Second, suicidal people don’t want help. They know they need help but they don’t want it. Because they know you can't help them. You can try. Words of encouragement can help them understand that you want them to live and that people care about them. Words of encouragement help them stay for a while longer. But it doesn't make them want to live. At the end of the day, their resolve to die, doesn't change. You can't help them. They want to help themselves. But they don’t know how. The world is a ******-up place. Now all they want is relief.

And that is death.

Third, when suicidal people tell you they want to die, it's not for attention. But it's not for help, either. When they tell you they want to die, they're tasting the words come out of their mouths. They're tasting the sweetness of each syllable and bitterness of it all at the same time. And they're afraid that it tastes good. That it tastes just right. It echoes in their heads and they want to swallow death instead of life eating them alive.

Fourth, suicidal people don't need to hear the words "Please be okay." 'Cause more than you, that's the only thing that they want. To be okay. To be fine. But they’re not. They wrestle with their demons everyday only to find out that they’re only making love with them all along.

Fifth, most suicidal people don't show how they're suffering. And most of the time it's because they don't know how to say it to people. They don't know how to explain it to other people. That waking up is sometimes the hardest thing to do. That waking up is sometimes the worst thing that's been happening to them. How can you make normal people understand that? How can normal people understand that suicide isn't just lonely and depressed and gloomy ****? Suicide is also the exhaustion of this world.

So when people say they didn't see it coming. They really won't.

Sixth, most people think suicidal people are weak, lame *** beings. But the truth is, sometimes, they're the strongest people you'll ever meet. Why? Because they’ve been through hell and they’re still looking at you straight in the eye as if the world has not crumbled beneath them. It's just that they have become strong enough to want to die. What people don’t realize is that, being strong is not a state of being, it is earned. You have to do your ****, keep your **** together and still be able to actually be there for other people. But it's tiring. Most people do not understand that just because a person is strong doesn’t mean everything is alright. In fact, everything is not alright, that’s why they’re strong. Everything is falling apart but they appear intact.

Do you even realize how hard that is?

Everyday you keep fighting back and everyday you fall to the ground. Nothing changes. You lose everyday. Sure, some days are happy days. Good things happen once in a while. But happy things don't last. All good things must come to an end. And when you've come to that realization, what's more to live for? When you know you'll be happy then sad or angry or tired later on? Most people will say that that's what life is about.

"Overcoming challenges!" Well, I say, *******. I know everybody is fighting their own battles. But we deal with our battles differently. And lucky you, you haven’t given up yet. But suicidal people are just done with putting up concrete filling when all they feel inside is empty.

Seventh, suicidal people have been through a lot and they have fought and fought. That's why they still haven't pulled the trigger to their heads. But the thing is, life has become more of a war for them rather than something they must enjoy. They don't understand the essence of it anymore. They're just tired. They don't know when it will all end. They don't know how to fight wars when all they got are bare hands and a body that gets easily scraped and bruised.

Everyday they keep fighting it.
Everyday they lose.

But suicidal people,
God, they’re trying.
They really are.
 Jan 2018 Underneath
Chanel Tatum
Suicide- 1-800-273-8256
Bullying- 1-800-420-1479
Self Harm- 1-800-DONT-CUT
Teen Help- 1-877-332-7333
Domestic Violence- 1-800-799-7233
****/****** Assault- 1-800-656-4673
Lifeline- 1-800-784-8433
Grief Support- 1-650-321-3438
Depression- 1-630-482-9696
Drug/Alcohol- 1-877-235-4525
Eating Disorders- 1-630-577-1330
Homeless/Runaway- 1-800-RUNAWAY
Mental Health- 1-800-442-4673
Sexuality- 1-800-246-7743
You are not alone; get help if you need it. I love each and every one of you so so so so so much!
 Dec 2017 Underneath
You cannot tell her she's beautiful,
You cannot tell her you love her,
You cannot tell her she's your world
When she's at her best moments.

You may only tell her those things,
If you're ready for her to have those off days,
If you're ready for her to not always wear makeup,
If you're ready to deal with her mood swings,
If you're ready for her to be clingey some days and distant others,

You cannot tell her any of the pretty little comments,
Unless you can handle her
Alone at two A.M.
As she's struggling with life,
And wondering why

She is not enough to win her own internal battles
-Don't you dare tell her you can handle her all the time if you're only ready to handle her at her best.
 Sep 2017 Underneath
Pitch Hiker
Language fails me when it comes to
So I can not discuss the disaster known
As myself
But I know you understand in someway
Or another
And I will never take that for granted
Thank you
Your messages mean the world to me
I hope you know
You have calmed me from so many  
That I would have rather jumped from
The gift
Of sleep you have given me on most of
My restless nights
Thank you for talking to me each night
Thank you
For taking time from your day to garentee
I'm ok
But just as you are the shoulder to my
I wish to be the shoulder and light to
Your fears
Whatever monsters whisper in your ear
Will disappear
The shadows that hover over you in your
Will meet an unkindly fate
I will be
The disaster to strike down your worst Demons
But for now all I can do it try.
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