I was so undeserving,
And yet, you were
So relentless.
                I pushed ~ You pulled
                I wept  ~ You embraced
                I bled  ~ You repaired
                I stopped ~ You smiled
I was a disaster~
The worst of its kind
                     And yet you still
                      Had the audacity
                       To let me know
                                  That I was beautiful

I don't know why
We drifted apart
But we did
And I regret it

I want us to be friends again,
The way we use to

I want us to stay up all night
Talking about what's on our heart
Because no one can make me
Feel as comfortable as you
And no one has won
My trust, the way
You still do

I want you
To undress
Your heart,
And show me
How much
It hurts,
So that
I can show you
How I intend
To make it stop.

Today
Is the day
To stop pretending
That you're okay
With not being okay

Yesterday
Could have been the day
You lied your last
"I'm fine"

Tomorrow
Could be the day
That you actually
Mean it

If you
Do not
Pull the weeds
In the garden
The flowers
Will never
Grow

It comes and goes as it rushes over me to take me in all at once. I blow out the smoke of my last cigarette and that's when all of it comes crashing down all at once. Oh god I hate myself and I can feel it coming in waves