The pull on my heart
Tonight
Hard to tell what
Is real
This anger I feel
is real
This will fades over time
Right
This overwhelming
Pull on my heart
Am I even worth the fight
The pull on my heart
A struggle
The pull on my heart

I have a wall you cannot see

Because its deep inside of me.

It blocks my heart on every side

And helps emotions there to hide.

You cant reach in,

I cant reach out,

You wonder what its all about.

The wall i built that you cant see

Results from insecurity.

Each time my tender heart was hurt

The scars within grew worse and worse.

So stone by stone,

I built a wall,

That now so thick it will not fall.

Please understand that its not you-

Continue trying to break through.

I want so much to show myself

And love from you will really help.

So bit by bit,

Chip at my wall,

Till stone by stone it starts to fall.

I know the process will be slow-

Its never easy to let go

Of hurts and failures long ingrained,

Upon one's heart from years of pain.

I'm so afraid

To let you in;

I know I might get hurt again.

I try so hard to break the wall,

But seem to get nowhere at all.

For stone upon each stone I've stacked,

And left between them not a crack.

The only way

To make it fall is imperfections in the wall.

I did the best I could to build

A perfect wall, but there are still

A few small flaws, which are the key

To breaking through the wall to me.

Please use each flaw

To cause a crack

To knock a stone off the stack.

For just as stone by stone was laid

With every hurt and every pain,

So stone by stone the wall will break

As love replaces every ache.

Please be the one

Who cares enough

To find the flaws, no matter what.

The pull on my heart
Tonight
Hard to tell what
Is real
This anger I feel
is real
This will fades over time
Right
This overwhelming
Pull on my heart
Am I even worth the fight
The pull on my heart
A struggle
The pull on my heart

You'll love me

You'll love me,
for my hair and how its smells
for my smile and my one dimple
for my hourglass figure
for my intelligence and how well I can convince you of anything
for my dark eyes and stare
for my flat feet and strong hands
for my intense personality which might make me look a bit crazy at times
for my cooking 
for my great massages which put you to bed
for my random kisses all over your face
for my hugs and how you can feel my love 
for my tom boy ways
for my love for God and my family
for my caring nature and deep passionate love
for my maturity and support
for my jealousy
for my humor
for my wiseness
for my walk
for my silly ways
for my lips so soft
for my lovely  smaker
for my ***** as well
Or maybe NOT

love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out."You are the poem I never knew how to write and this life is the story I have always wanted to tell tried to stop loving you so I built walls around my heart and found other names to whisper in the night but you carved yourself into my veins even if you meant to or not and sometimes I wonder if you remember the way we looked at each other or maybe you forgot all

Why does it hurt when it rains.
How do you see through the fog of pain. Well the rain forever stay will it ever go away from the time you looked my way I was lost in a daze we rode the worst storm I've ever been through we got lost in that storm and we lost our faith in one another with no light to guide our way back to each other the fog lifted up we found each other so u let me believe in a something that was real and true just to stand there and let the storm rip out my heart all over again for a drug that wont last a night you know what I should not drop my standards just for you to get high and I dont think u know what real love is it's given in when you know what u deserve I truly love  you and you have just made me feel like I was nothing but a passing through the fog of pain and suffering with no air to fill my lungs cuz u have taken everything even my breath so I will walk away from  you through the fog of pain and suffering to  myself alone with my head high an try each an everyday to remember I was just another person walking around lost  in the fog of pain and suffering. I'll definitely never forget an forgive you for everything from our past an present. You lost me the moment the drug was put before me 2 know for sure it will never work with you there will never be anything put before the drug 💉 you have to see it from my point of view it killed us once it will **** us again and again to want to put us through the pain again is selfish of u have u not put me through enough have I not given u enough have I not given up enough for you y do I keep falling for u after everything what changed I was just another day another time I can't expect u to understand how u make feel how u have ****** my life up so bad. I loved you with everything in me I did not give up on us and the ****** up thing with you is that you did u killed us not just that but you gave up on us u ****** with my heart knowing that you would never give it up u knew you would never change not even for me for us for a real chance at love u we have become nothing more than a passing storm the worst of my life and I wont ever forget that real to the bone pain my heart doesn't even want to beat to breathe I cant find my rhythm its no point in trying to get air when every time I try to breath I scream in pain of a lost dream come true I've got to for get u I have to walk away from the you I once loved cuz that you was never real or true **** the u that's before me **** ur fake *** story's to try and make me forgive you knowing that u say that Now once you got what u wanted was it worth it all was it everything u wanted an more would u do it over again break my heart once more for what nothing more then just what u want what about what I want r need from you does it hurt knowing my feeling didn't even matter did u know that my heart was breaking every time I gave you what u asked for did you even see the pain in my eyes the need to leave everything I am in your hands and did you even know what it did to me every time for me just say okay an let it go but truly broken on the inside an wishing you would be able to make it right but once again you have left me without a breath to take so I welcome the pain with no air an no hope for ever day dreaming of a life with you I once prayed that you would be able to look at the past an see you want something better something else worth living for something that is real an true something like me an you then again it was just another day dream
And prays don't ever come true just like me. so tell me what you think of it  I have to love myself more since I'll seem to be the only one who really knows the meaning

Last night I had a dream,
We were walking hand in hand,
On a deserted island beach,
Over endless miles of sand,
The moon was shining bright,
You looked over at me and smiled,
Your eyes so full of passion,
Our thoughts both running wild,
We laid down and held each other,
So close but never enough,
The tides came in and nearly covered us,
As we made pure and beautiful love,
I had never known so much beauty,
As your skin in the pale moon light,
Every moment so intense and new,
On this warm, dark and blissful night.
But as the sun rose the next morning,
You disappeared and left me alone,
I’m still on that deserted island,
Come back and bring me homeust for a moment or two......
Close your eyes and come with me,
Was it just a dream?
Can you see what I see?
Us two?Were we really together?
It's been a long time now,
Your face,Your beautiful brown eyes,
Your long flowing dark hair,The look,
That all consuming powerful look..........
Of love,I remember,Each time you looked into my eyes,You took my breath away,
I can still see the sideways glance,
I noticed,I always noticed you know,
Even before we got together,We met halfway,
Now I understand... I heard the song too,
"Can you still love me when you can't see me any more?