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51 · Jul 2020
If only
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
"To know that I miss you so much when you leave; to know that I need you like the air that I breathe. To know that I want you with a passion so blind, is to know that I love you — with no doubt in my mind"I never fully realized what it meant to hurt (to truly hurt) until I wanted nothing but you to such a great extent, only to have no other choice but to convince myself that I don't.empty fields and soaring clouds. In city lights and passing cars, on winding roads and wishing stars. I wonder where you could be now, for years I've not said your name out loud.  — time has passed for you and I. But I have learnt to live without, I do not mind — I still love you anyhow.""I missed you for too long, in too many ways, that it became just another part of me; engraved deeper into my heart with the passing of time. I would wake up, stretch, breathe, and miss you. They told me to let it go, to let you go, and I would say: You cannot simply will your heart to stop beating, that no matter how long you hold your breath for, you cannot hold it forever, and I could only stop missing you if I stopped being myself entirelyForgive me if I stumble and fall for I know not how to love too well I am clumsy and my words do not form as I wish so let me kiss you instead and let my lips paint for you all the pictures that my clumsy heart cannot.""I would love to say that you make me weak in the knees, but to be quite upfront and completely truthful, you make my body forget it has knees at all."Meet me at midnight in the forest of my dreams. We'll make a fire and count the stars that shimmer above the trees.
50 · Jul 2020
Thank you
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
It started out as just a hug and grew into a kiss,
A friendship that had blossomed up to more than I could wish.
You are my shining star at night; you help me find my way.
You are my inspiration directing me each day.
See, when I fall and need a hand, you always pick me up,
And when I cry and need a friend, you're there no matter what.
I wish I were just like you: strong-hearted, brave, and sweet.
I'm glad I have a friend like you to make my life complete.
You're a very special person.
I'm glad that you're my friend,
For when I need a little advice,
You always have some to lend.
You help me when I am troubled,
Feeling down and out-
I never have to say what's wrong.
You seem to know what I'm all about.
I can always tell you my feelings
Without having you put me down.
You're the person I can turn to
When no one else is around.
I can cry on your shoulder
When things are going wrong.
You give me a smile
And help me to be strong.
You seem to understand me.
After all that we've gone through,
I only have one thing to say...
Thanks for being YOU
I don't know how to say this,
but I thank you very much
for always being there for me,
your gentle, friendly touch.
Thank you.
You helped me to get better
and stop what I regret.
You helped me through the hard times
that I can't forget.
Thank you.
You listened to my problems
in a kind and caring way,
and without you,
I may not be smiling today.
Thank you.
I trust you with my secrets
that no one has been told.
I trust you with my feelings, and I'll remember your words
until I'm grey and old.
Thank you
50 · Jul 2020
Anxiety
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
trying to escape, tried so many different ways
yet still, minute by minute, day by day
stuck in my anxieties, have thoughts
yet nothing to say

damage has been done that i cant reverse
this anxiety is more than a problem, its a curse
always worried not to upset or say something wrong
always uncomfortable, not one tamed thought
the edge is always near, always on guard
knowing normality is to far

watching the laughter and fun but never truly involved
as soon as i start its like my mind has a wall
all negatives come flooding threw taking my air flow
in and out my anxieties grow
what are they thinking? what do i do?
Am i fitting in? not knowing how to be me, true

some days i think i am changing, getting better
being louder, more thoughts being said. Not so tender
one person, one thing can bring me right back
its like i was seeing then lost the track
like i was running, now i am just in place
i was winning, then slowing down, lost the race
the light at the end of the tunnel was so bright
everything was feeling good, i was feeling right

then the clouds cover me, swallow me inside
there i sit, looking down on what i could be
that rain you feel, tears to all my cries
crying out for someone, something to save me from all these edges
loud in my head yet quiet to the ears of all present
44 · Jul 2020
I see you
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Looking into your eyes I see what the world can not I see the things that you try to hide behind that graceful smile that you carry there's a pain that's hidden you hope by smiling that your covering it up 

You smile when you want to cry ,you shut everybody out when you think no ones listening ,no one hears the screams and the cries that you cry at night the sad sobs ,the tears that flow so freely down your face 

Seeing all of this only makes me love you more ,your flaws and imperfections captures my soul ,it engages my heart and I want to know more,I look in your eyes seeing this story that you've hidden from the world ,but I finally see it 

I see you ,your flaws and in all love you more and more knowing your imperfect ,I see you for you I see what the world can not I see right through you and only want to love you through it all
Her love is true
43 · Jul 2020
Young me
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
PLife is like a bullet it goes by so fast here today and gone tomorrow.
There's so much I wish I could change if the past would come back around for just one day.
I would leave this letter for my younger self then maybe I wouldn't regret the choices I made.

Dear Younger Me,
There's so much I want to say like slow down enjoy each day.
Don't take the one's closes to you for granted there will come a day when they will go away.
Live hard love even harder keep your loved one's close and never let anger get in the way.
Enjoy the little things even the sunrise that wakes you up for school every morning.
Don't try to grow up fast because one day you will be 32 and not even recognize your own face.
Losing your loved ones to old age it's no fun being alone when your old and grey.
So heed my warnings life is not something you can replace you get one chance so make it count each day part
43 · Jul 2020
My Lord's soul
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Blood may be shed and bones may be broken
but the love from him is something unspoken
he cradle us in the pits of his *****, shielding us from the mistakes we have forged.
couped over, despair dripping from thine body like a moist rag,
begging him to cleanse thine soul of all immoral acts.
with the palm of his hand he placed it on my back,
releaving me of my wrong doings, for I know no better.
I am an infant to the acts of man's words,
decived by the lavish scenery of exotic entities.
I worship no other, then he himself
42 · Jul 2020
Moonlit sky
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Underneath the moonlit sky, beneath a blanket of stars,
I lay with you in a land afar.
It's so quiet; all I can hear
is my breath I vaguely take with you so near.
You have my body bound.
I'm lost in your presence, where I can't be found.
You kiss my neck; it feels so nice.
You have me feeling so enticed.   
As my body emerges,
it yearns and it urges
to feel your embrace
and to taste your taste.
As you put it in,
a little smile grins.
Should I whisper, faster?
Or should I scream for my Master?
You're pulling my hair,
I feel, as if I were floating on air.
As I tremble and begin to shake,
you quiver and quake.
Underneath the moonlit sky, beneath a blanket of stars,
I'm yours, wherever you are.

A touch of skin soft and slippery,
With the hint of hint of sweat.
We fought our resistance beneath the cool sheets,
As the wind flowed from the window above us.
Eyes met briefly and begged for the chance,
To abandon all of our uncertainties.
You began your work on my lips,
Probing gently as if drawing ***,
From a deep well of longing and need.
Then heated tongues met in the midst,
Of hot and quickening breath.
And greedily we drank the wine of our lusts.
Then intoxicated with those spirits,
Our clothes found resting place on the floor.
Piece by piece,
Until there were no hiding places,
For the two glistening and wanting bodies.
Hunger revealed in this hot moment.
Then skin meshed with skin,
As the floor became the stage.
You moved atop of me easily,
And lowered yourself gently.
Kissing me as I was filled with you.
As a gasp broke the kiss,
Your hands stroked the stray strands,
Away from my forehead, then became entangled.
Our slow rhythm gave way,
To urgent and demanding thrusts of passion,
As I arched my body for your comfort,
And you threw me into ecstasy,
With the strength of your blows.
You left me screaming and soaked,
In oblivion again and again,
As you growled my name from the back of your throat,
And our bodies both demanded more,
Each giving to the other,
High on the fluids of foreign substance.
I grasped, then released you,
Grasped then released you,
In effort to relieve you of your control.
The taste of your skin between my lips,
Was like no other.
To hear your cry of mercy,
When my teeth met your warm skin,
Was more breathtaking than you knew.
Yet I still released the control to you.
As you wound your hands in my hair,
And pulled until the flesh on my neck was taut,
You moved with one final and breaking blow,
Forcing our way to the peaks of bliss,
Leaving our screams to echo on like battle cries.
I welcomed the weight of you to crush me,
As you collapsed on top of me,
Still hot and burning,
And I glowing like an ember,
Casting light so u will find a way back  again
33 · Aug 2020
My only wish
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
I’m scared of not missing you anymore, I’m scared to live that day.
I’m scared my mind will erase the memory of the day you went away.
I put a lot of trust in you, you said that you were different.
Your intellect was beyond the hood, but I guess not far enough to miss it.

I guess I should’ve told you that I’m really sensitive, though I try to act like I don’t mind, that night I still relive.
I’m ashamed because I know I love you way more than you like me,
and that I cry for you when you’re not here so much that I can’t see.

This headache just won’t go away its been here since you left.
Though loud yet meek, though screaming yet bleak, this loss truly feels like death.
I pray you don’t feel these words are a stretch because we’ve shared limited time,
or that I’m completely insane for tatting your name, assuring I’ve lost my mind.

Well, the truth is that you are for me, and I’ve known it since we met.
Yeah, we fought, loved, broken up, but there’s something you just have to get.
I don’t want anyone else baby doll, I don’t want another man.
I’ll build you up and give you my heart to cradle in your hand.

I admit I am attached baby, and dangerously its true.
That I want to offer my body and soul as a sacrifice to you.
I pray you never leave my side though physical I can take,
but mentally please stay awhile and never leave this place.

365 days is the longest fight I feel I’ve already been beat.
That waiting is indeed the hardest game and I’ve just succumbed to defeat.
Terell aka my babe that definitely is what you are.
Though unspoken yet chanted, and rough yet romantic, this love was written in the stars.

I don’t know what you feel inside, or if this load you can carry.
If you'll settle down and marry.
I feel we’ll be getting to know each other more so here than before,
so open and let me in because it’s you that I adore.

The fate of this relationship is exclusively up to you, ill be holding down my end until my biggest dream comes true-
I love you

— The End —