it's _ not _ the
worst\thing
this.
beinginlovewithyou
when i stop <to <re <collect
the empt [i] ness
i would otherwise know;
you know ~ i've tried
#others
no | one | fusses |
with ^my^ bangs^
presses>their>shoulder>into>me{lting}
wears those [mydeargod]
thigh - high - BooTs
<like you>
myhands @ yourhips
you trace ~my ~veins
i _ steal _ every kiss
& pray ' for ' time ' to '
stall. there.
just. a.
mo...   men. t.
     *more

you. called. me. beautiful.
{I can't lie}
it was nice to hear
but >your >words >and >your >motions
don't own {the same} grace
you spil~led ~so ~many ~syl~la~ble~ssss
about being vulnerable
//owning//moments//
workedmyselfuptothechallenge
you-had-the-nerve-to-claim-   it
a_ w _ k _ w_ a _ r _ d
no| consequence| to| me| in the end
youhavetowakeupwithyourself
{my dear}
i have only sadness for you
----and-the-parts-of-you-you're---
FooLinG

believe me
i _ know _ how _ sure
{you'llsay}
i fell for whoever i
think. you. are.
face it; darling
you know
Soooo.  Ooooo many
>>give >> lessssss
for so¡ much¡ more¡
{certainly romance is dead}
&woman;~
you just. stopped. keeping. score.
so convinced//broken// is
what\hearts\
are\for\
i guess five-hundred
miles-away-was-safe
to ex》plore》
how the. time. spent.
onyourmouth;
it just ^meant ^more
& i know #youknow
& you wouldn't
let | it | show
did¿ you ever¿
ask yourself
¿₩hat
for¿

cotton sheets
my<&you;>knees
somanysyllables
@fadeddreams
all i see
is. your. skin.
hazel blinks
s _
       ink
            ing 《 in
&yourlaughterinmymouth;
is-the-sweet-est.   Taste
where/gra/vi/ty
fails. to. exist.
allthereis
has _ never _ been

my<&you;>knees = and you between my knees

I watched the sun...rise...
Naturally (these,days) my thoughts.... drift.to.her.
~as they seem to do~
orange, and, blue, orange, and, blue,
And I've always had faith in the universe
Knowing the lessons were there...
...Somewhere.
But this time....this one.woman.
《poetinmyheart》
It doesn't seem quite... fair
I wasn't ......l o o k i n g
I did. Not. need.
I/was/con.tent.
being.
How is it that I stumbled upon...her
The path;each step;...cruel shoes
...wonder//how I ever wandered...
...On that road that-led-to-her
I AM NOT this girl...
I don't just.... fall,...
Not.like.this...
Mostly,...--- not. at. all,...
I even told her...how I/don't/think/I've/met my greatest love,..yet
And,..yet....
I'm wounded and I'm b a f f l e d
And feelingsosmall...
...this longing so desparately
For.her.eyes/hands ^smile/voice
...alloverme
And all of it just- a - l-o-n-g - list
Of what-I-
can...Not
--------- have...
.here. I. am.
///Stalled///
...maybe I...can...
feel Grateful {nonetheless}
For f/i/n/a/l/l/y
Feeling... this way
....at all....
Now I know---I CAN...
I guess there is.a.lesson
in ...being...
s/m/a/s/h/e/d/....

Until her...
....I thought I was just...
... broken.

How she can c
                          l
                           A.
                             i. {havehearditfromthestart}
                              m
All. She. Wants. Is.

toBeLOVE---Ed

How she could have that
^^^^^ 1000 ^^^^         ^^^^ over ^^^^^^
                              times

But in>>>  stead she chooses the ones
who.         don't.

&I;'M stifling a S C R E A M
i'm punching imaginary  |||||  walls

I've  grown weary of BiTinG-My-TonGue, dear
,...oh the blood tastes a b\it\te\r pinch

It's so hard tofeelsorry a-bout
the lessons you've learned, l _ _ ov _ _ e

Because;.... it isn't eno.  ugh

You haven't really OpeneD your I's.
at all,....@

that #smile
liGHT me uP!!!
Sssss. Smack. a. grin. all. over. my. face.
<<<sh^^^a>>>>k^^^^^ing>>>>>my head
So_ silly _ I _ guess
{when you talk}
trysohardtohearthewords
While; the.  whole. time
my ¡ head¡  screams¡¡¡

You are s. I m. P. Ly  

the most bE-A-UtifUl

    .girl.....

¿what¿ is it
you want. from. me¿
peel >back >my >sk _ in
sw _ im in my ma  _  rr _ ow
pl uck my pr ide from your p ocket
maybe i can get ^ up ^ off ^ my
knees;  _ pl ease
therearen'tmanybitsleft
"of "" me""
a \ghost \of \who \i / used / to /be
your lips brought [an early]
''":death:": '' to me
these eyes/these eyes
so  | blindly |  see
yet,...here i stay
}}camped}
    .at. your. feet.

Muse;
~ if you only knew ~
how. long. it's.        been
since i
even/had/the
heart
[to care]
beenin&  out
》shallow》in _ discretions
motions  w/ no | e | motion
meaning^^less
in-their-vanity
& here. you. are. _
reminding me
what this 'beat''ing' is even
For.
& for the first time
{in so long}
i want.
MorE

the words. don't. come.
so e as ily
these _ days
not so much <at all>
whatdoihavetosay
[when] she is no longer
^listen^ing^ ^^
}}wooden}} {{chimes{{
cl _an _ k  around
like her° name° in° my° head°
& her-voice-in-my-chest
₩hen you've had her
in your skin\ \ bones\ \ breath
once she's.             gone.....
what's.    really.
¿left.

let. another. one.
》》go
she _ didn't _ slow _ dance
&shedidntlaugh;
[like you]
she didn't drink ₩hiskey
or read #poetry
¿what was i supposed
to do¿
don't-know-how-to-need
what's in 》front 》of 》me
for | however | long | | there are |
stars&divebars;
i'll °keep °looking°
~ for ¥ou

wAKing UP
Next>> to you
In~   hale 》breathe. you. IN
you,.you,.....your ten《so soft》der skin
how it hasn't felt
quite. like. this.
so en>twin>>ed
so right, right, right
as if we've held. _  that  _  space
100s of;... times.
wh\  is\ per\ s. S. s. about our Iives
tra》》cing your arm
KiSSing your s  p  i n   e
such peaceful moments
losing-the-time
touching like this,...
...my fa vore ite
& it's as if We'VE BEEN here
be, {some other life} fore
so ~at~ease~
...in. your. arms.
I suppose;,...
it's  //like//
,.... *home

need to stop. wishing.
it's just >grains >of >sand
itdoesn'tmatterhowmuchthereisofit
it's still _ just _ sand _
in | the | end |
& i can't watch° the °waves
with\out hearing {{your name}}
'cause crashing >>is >>crashing
it. all. feels. the. same. [to me]
forgetthemoon
she never did _ me _ any _ favors
¡especially¡¡ when she¡ made¡  you¡¡
~ come ~ true ~

so. much. easier. to
leavetheblameforyou
{what a selfish *******}
just because you/made/the/cut
{miserable ****}
it-was-my-shiv-in-your-hand
{afterall}
you loved me with all you had
i >gave >you >what >i >could
{what a schmuck}
itwasn'tenough
to _ pack _ up
and ~ follow ~ you ~ back
because. the. snow; in New York is
only romantic #centralpark &
whiskey can only keepmewarmonSundays
and, in, the, end, i, guess, i, loved,
the ocean
*more

I. need. you.
To help me...
Let/this/go{ifthatswhatyouwant}
Because the taste of your words
...And\your\mouth
Are- merciless- spectors
In a mind swimming with wants...
It takes only.one.word.
Your choice
Stay....
Or go,...
2 letters or 4
...and no//thing more,...

al{one}
with> my >glass >of
w{h}ine
i /fail /to /shed
the "fli""ck"er" '' ' '
of your flame
de _ spite y _ our logic
& my
shame
too. blind. to. see
@light
therewasneverany
~sense~
<to us>
not. really. ever.
&certainlynot;
#tonight

you have a phenomenal...smile.., close to
a...**** eating grin, really...of epic proportions...it says...I know fuckingshit you don't know... and... I wanna color and do
Play-Doh with you...and when you share
it...well...one can feel...absolutely certain...
that you have carnal knowledge
of...every...inch...of...skin...and that
you...can...smell...the wet...between
the legs...at the sound...of your name...
and it's all swimming together in one...
marvelous...grin...and all at once...it's
******* lovely...

Morning walk...you know how I covet
sunrise...and eucalyptus...the damp and
the salt....[oh, how I am drawn to
fishes]...sherbet streaks through a
retreating
dark. A new day...
a new fate...
Mind drifts://colors fade from
sight;...and left with Me...
reaching across a
table; *******...gently
...slowly,... so de//li//cious the
moment...Guide the hair that has
fallen...across your face.. a vague
interruption. ..to our eyes locked in a
stare.  and there is no sound//all light//stillness//eyes
speaking volumes,...eyes have so much to say;in these
moments,..
,,.....In these seconds,... there is and has
only ever been the two of us...you and I in a timeless gaze,...and
...only so slightly aware of the scattering of atoms, stirred by...Me...
reaching across a
table; *******...gently
...slowly...so bound in the
moment...Guide the hair that has fallen....

there. was. a. time.
coun' ting' '  stars' ' '
poems\rhymes
the Sssssmell of
eu^ca^lyp^tus trees//
the ~sounds ~ of ~
tangerine
[&aquamarine;]
your liPpPs;
my _ dream _ s

》》now i
hold. all. this. (                    )silence;
{however || tenderly}
along-with-my-whiskey
& the
€ternit¥
BeTw | EE | n
ea" ' ch. " " tick." ' '
' of
' the
.. ' .. ' .. clock

i drink bourbon
for. the. burn.
it's-good-to-feel
<something>
been ^hang^ing^ on^^
forsolong
missed the fact
i ₩as
the only one

fit _ to _ be _ tied
          to you
ifyoudon'tknow
what. you've. found.
how/can/ i
      be of any help
<these arms> have grown ₩eary
from #hangingaround

your mouth...I want to bite your lips...****
on each and kiss you for hours...That proud
nose, those bottomless green
eyes...eyes...the eyes have it, that those
brows frame in vain.....Features,
that,...form the most interesting face I've
ever ....Seen...BeaUtiful...yesss...but more,
more,...morethanthat...and I just keep
finding That face...and ***...this is
ridiculous...and ****...*******...****...I'm a
******* of the highest degree to want
and want...can't have can't have...and really
you shouldn't be had at all...not that
we had a chance...Years and miles.Miles
and years...but God
knows...knowing...knowing...knowing all of
this...My.dear.God.,...I'd still die to be
underneath you.

maybe
you've-had-it-right
all/  a/    long
i. don't. know.
how.
toslowthislove;
D.  O.        wn.
~~sp~in~
sWEll
some\shallow\attempt
《 》》 to inhale》
your <lips>
in. my.      mouth.
fing er s on
my _ veins
thighs@myshoulders
your )( redolence )(
your-hair
the mellllllttttt
we = feel
your °look°
my
STare
& who w{c}ould
ever
(want to)
For _ Get
that¿
[my] dear

See○ing○you
with someone {new}
it's a punc_ ture wound;
it's a ra/zor/blade/tooth/
& i ₩anna be €ool
but there's. no.           room.
'cause this heart's #shreds
it's>all >consumed
¿What¿ is it about me
that isn't eno[ugh]
youheldMyHand
》》》i never asked》for》 it
It's as if you - LiVE - to -  ****. me. in.
late night whiskey/morning gin
i make¡ you¡ come¡
you~make~me~shake
meltIntoone
Oh,...;But,...Wa,........itTt­ttt/tttt,...
When #daylight _ shows
none. of. it. matters.
it's like; the dawn makes
your memory ****>>>ter
& I ******* know (how it) always ends
Yet; here. I.  am.
back\       .again.

timing-never-mattered
to me
i still crave you in my bed
{regardlessofthatnonsense}
& all those things
you (said (to (me
Nevermind, darling;
you're so. pretty. in. those. jeans.  
Yes; let's
~dance ~to ~your ~favorite
song

i want to know
how_ it_  would
FeeL
in. your. arms.
sob.        bing
       [free]
justholdme
it's been a >long >life
up; to now
& i just need
some\one\to\be\naked
with
{but} leave my clothes
       .on.

you <<< remind me
of
this girl
i used to love; one fall
when i fe
                 ll
for ^her ^words
& her song
tr _ ip _ , _ ping a _ lon _ g
there was ever so
M _ u _ cH
to | say |
untiltheday
she .wouldn't. speak.
{at all}
&  i 》headed 》
home
tomywaves & mysand
with-a-question-mark
& the nerve to write
[153]
#poems
about°
     * her

Ah,..
What.A.Thrill...first thought...last
thought...first thought,...last...and my words
don't...
scare...you...because you like to read...and
feel...and think and know...and, I have
always been in love with honesty...and you
accept the... words...that
walk out of my
fingers,...
and swim off my
tongue,...
thankyou
it feels like freedom,...
and sunrise....

not _ quite _ a _ shift
most\like\a
}}press{{
grasSsping at
'..",..slivers'..."
#whateverisleft
the | peace | that i found
#whateveritmeant
& all. Of. those. words. [you said]
live-on-to-loiter
in the <nagging>
[    silence    ]

I guess,... I don't get to.
know.
It was...all the somethings I said/
The lines that I wrote;
it was all you...you. the. catalyst...forgotten
whims of passion and romance, {back to life}
...so/so/so
long; lost at sea*

And; ...now ...I don't get.to.know. if you...
hitch hiked..ed...to Africa//with Beryl...
SOARING; West With the Night,...

Or if Nin's siren; was
That woman you can't/not love;...as you feel
your soul haunted in the House of Love,...

So,...what's to come...of//old
Heming{blasphemy}way...in Spain as the Sun
Also Rises; so tortured by the love that can
not consumate,...does it make your
longing for it...//more...?

And,...I g.U.e.s.s.
I'll never know...
...if you tried your coffee with
Honey...

...I just don't.get.to.know,........now.

It makes no...sense
...I plead no pretense.
But if honesty is a...fault
...well, then, I own it in spades;
And I'm pleased to have.no.shame.
Because,...darling...
We aren't what.we.need.
...and don't you see the...beauty
In that?
It's all the ...wants {Iwantyou}
..all OF the wants...
Wrapped into one (youmewe)
...and I can't close my eyes...anymore
Without the delicious thoughts...
Of your~skin~on~me;
How I want to trace those freckles with my...
Tongue...
...And map each one.
Just the lightest touch...
To form your body's silhouette;
Drawing portraits of poets from your ribs to
Your feet.
...and there is no rush in this//
And these moments are ours
...and it means everything to kiss//
How I could kiss you for hours.
No, ...my dear...darling
...there is no.sense.in.this.
But if loving needs... logic...
...I want no/part/in/it.

my
LipPps

On.your.

LipPps
and

d e
...lic
...i
o...
U... S. sss. sss

Lips..;
your Mouth...
I want
N
ee
D
...to
Kn
...OW

sensSssssse_ d you
<before> i heard you [gasp]
<before >
i ^saw ^you
<before> i//just//knew you
were there
walk _ing by
{allstripes/greeneyes/purplehair;}
&how;¿come¿really
as》if
hundredsofmiles
thousandsofbodies
aren't 》enough
funny _ how
we-could-both-pretend
to| not| see|
the second. biggest. lie.
of them
all
ex {c} cept that
it didn't
mean. a. thing.

No _ Body
<empties> me
Quite. Like. You.
it _ only _  takes
threelittleletters
}suCH a simple word{
& i caN'T breath
or see
Each. Time.
you ^men^tion^

[she]

you. know.
just _ how
to bring me
tomyknees
it >must >please >you >so
& you\tease\ it
the-whole-while;
₩** knows. me. so. ₩ell.
i can't "tell" if i even
care 》《to 》《breathe
this {need} is
killing
| me |

My reasons...
Lack reason.
Shared paper/words/
wants.
Con\nec\tions...
...SNAPS and ...dots...
Don't.know.what's.missing.
Until... you... find...it...
//Own my heart//
Own/my/thoughts
And I never had you at all
...But how I  want you
    So.little.time.
spilledwords---spilled wine
On paper <insignificant>
...I suppose...
holding hands by holding rhymes
If marked in tempo...if marked in time
...Barely a cursive i
Still//stillness... I,...Left here...
...am haunted
{Spector of your smile}
-ScribblingMyVitals-
Prose to quell the ache
....finally awake....
Left to linger in the wake:
the joy of your hello;
Deceives the
...the s l i c e of/your/
good//bye.
...minutes too slender
Yet my skin... knows...
the bite.

need to  | cease |
{to fit}
so _ per°fect°ly°
inyourneck
beg. to. forget.
your > fingGgeRs
in\my\hair\
so  #hungry
& ¥et so
~del~i~cate~
i-no-longer-want
to feel your sm _ ile
inmyskin
make. it. stop.
{this needing you}
it's-something-i-can't
feed &
it's | starving |
me
[    hollow.  ] bruised
&    sore  
don'tknow
what ^this ^ breath 》《 ing
is. for.
} stuck { between
your hazel
& the || door;
don'treallyknow
what-i-know
any __ *more

I want to feel deeply again,
She had written;
&I; didn't know there was any other wAy;
But then, again that's\been\my\problem
... for. so. long...
She's got some-appointments-to-keep
And I've got >my >miles to walk and. to. Think .
But I im/a/gine a;... time
    maybesometimesoon
we'll meet~on~some~street
& I will know those hazel eyes
...and,... her laugh will recallmyeasysmile
& it will be;
Our time,...

I think you know;
how I want you
there's so much
in/be/tween //     us;
[that. we. know.]
yet i'm sitting here
alone
how we can run》so 》hot》
justtogo.         cold
i'm breaking down
each ~time ~ you're~ shut^t^ing ^off
& i know your reasons
}}}live  your life in doubt{{{
but ¡these ¡changes¡
in seasons
just. bring.
                   me.
                           down.
Recall our mmmmmeeeeeellllllllllttttt
and mo|me|nt|s
RElease your ^guarded^
heart.
Be//cause darling, darling
If you don't-  know- by- now
You Can Never Know
howmuchthisgirl
wants. your. love.

how do i
inhale
without you
cuz breathing is easy
when there is no meaning
minutes are too long
& who cares
where i go
after
where we've
been

breathing
through one lung
just fingernails
to hold on
& breaths
& hope
[bitemytongue]
just a
sliver
left,...
choking on
the hollow sound
of
un
done

it was a ○ hit & a
'    miss
isuppose/whoknows¿
here.we.are.
712 _ days _ >>>> later
{,...and count^^ing^^}
Guinness ~~has ~me
#remember
whiskey-helps-me
= | forget |
yet
nothing
¡¡ F I L L s
meuplike
•°○ you

Crossed lines, lines crossed...tangled up in
the sublime...the beauty in so much to
say...trading words and thoughts and
wonderings...each a thread; now binding up
my silly heart...So tied in satin...twisted
bows of truth and longing
and...words...and words and words...I can
not begin to unravel the tightness in my
chest at the thought of your smile...Waking
wish for your eyes on me...and all of the
pretty words...oh my stupid little heart...left
...
hanging...

You...were alwaYs
so hectic in.the.Morning
How I should just call you
Mis
take

But,...now I have. Your.
Dog.  I think he's
Stay(unlike you)ing

And lying next
to me
I should thank.you.

You left.
and gave me...
thegreatestloveiveeverknown.