¿₩hat kind of
answer is
that¿
save it {for}
laundry
& washing your
car.
i carry comets
in-my-pockets
& #lightening
on my LiPs.
go> back> to> your
sleepy ex _ is _ tence
i'llbeoverhere
being. IN. it.

_ e _ asier _
saidthandone
>>trYing to
s
   L
      o    wwww
down/this/love
when ' '' '' min' '' '"utes
trip-me-up
& words
aren't
eno{ugh}
#justsuckitup;
it's-not-as-if
there
is.­ A. choice.

I. need. you.
To help me...
Let/this/go{ifthatswhatyouwant}
Because the taste of your words
...And\your\mouth
Are- merciless- spectors
In a mind swimming with wants...
It takes only.one.word.
Your choice
Stay....
Or go,...
2 letters or 4
...and no//thing more,...

I'm so spun out
spinning
spun
spit  me out

slipping
sliding
sinking
d
o
w
n

to an empty space,...where
there is no room for love...because
you don't believe and you
don't need it

i drink bourbon
for. the. burn.
it's-good-to-feel
<something>
been ^hang^ing^ on^^
forsolong
missed the fact
i ₩as
the only one

need >>> to let it go
justanothernight
on _ the _ floor
even my dog
doesn't wanna hang;
anY MorE
Spend so much time
       for/get//ting
ifonlyitwere
like = breathing
& i could be done
without- so--  much--- as
[a thought]
Then; here. I. am.
thinkingabouthow
I {shouldn't} be thinking
@you now
& **** it
i have to start all over
》》again,...

those things {i thought}
i need;
poetry&whiskey
& quiet time
[alone]
you ~ ARe
noneofthese
& yet
i feel
@home

how you like to tie me up
in knots
{{not the way i want}}
you hold my hand
you hold the cards
& then you shut it off
you play it down
[if only you had kept your mouth]
[if only i hadn't had you]
on my tongue
your hands in my hair
i wouldn't care
i could shrug it off
but you dig in those nails
{{while i make you fl _o _ at}}
& it's not enough
your ups and downs
i can't keep up
i'm torn apart

Ah,..
What.A.Thrill...first thought...last
thought...first thought,...last...and my words
don't...
scare...you...because you like to read...and
feel...and think and know...and, I have
always been in love with honesty...and you
accept the... words...that
walk out of my
fingers,...
and swim off my
tongue,...
thankyou
it feels like freedom,...
and sunrise....

I guess,... I don't get to.
know.
It was...all the somethings I said/
The lines that I wrote;
it was all you...you. the. catalyst...forgotten
whims of passion and romance, {back to life}
...so/so/so
long; lost at sea*

And; ...now ...I don't get.to.know. if you...
hitch hiked..ed...to Africa//with Beryl...
SOARING; West With the Night,...

Or if Nin's siren; was
That woman you can't/not love;...as you feel
your soul haunted in the House of Love,...

So,...what's to come...of//old
Heming{blasphemy}way...in Spain as the Sun
Also Rises; so tortured by the love that can
not consumate,...does it make your
longing for it...//more...?

And,...I g.U.e.s.s.
I'll never know...
...if you tried your coffee with
Honey...

...I just don't.get.to.know,........now.

It was im//pos//sible from the start
..but my god...
...You were delicious
I have held you in my
mouth...
I have held you on my
...tongue
I have spilled my words and my
...heart
As you rest there against my
teeth//
I tasted your letters and I drank your
Loves
And now I'm just here
........starving.

we didn't talk. of. the. weather.
except to concede
its power over sub//lime sleep
Our hushed
Whispers
of what
Set
our
Skin
on
f...^^i...^r..^^e
,,...the wet
longing
in the the pages of
a French harlot
,... the empty spaces left
When love
Is 》》》 gone
& how kissing
Should be done only
by,...°°hours°°...
How melodies
can leave us n.a.k.e.d
& time and space
are tiny matters
when the stars aro{we}und collide

no,...we didn't speak of
^little^things^
We lost our hours in
ThE WoRdS
and it's the teary
re// col// lec// tion of this
That has me typing
At 3 AM
..._again

layers-of-you
| layers | of | truth |
is it ¿ still a lie¿
when you just. don't. say.
Who am i to = judge
i ~ had~ your mouth &
"maybe" a few other ones
but; here ^ you ^ are ^
《back 《 again
Stepping out//sliding in
how. easily. you'll. pull. me. in.
such  _.  a sucker {for those eyes.}
& slow gin
the ¡sound¡ you ¡make¡
whenyoufeelthepleasure
of _  the _ pain
how it #lingers [with you]
the/ next /day
you don't _ ever _ have _ to _
saY;

I.Fell.
Hard.
I think it smacked me...
stupid.
I think it's got me...
******.
To think; I think; if I can write
the...right...
words...
It will change the whole
song.
I must be moronic//
my brain is just complete mush.
The band long since left the stage....
and the mics have all been hushed.
There is no combination; or action; or words
I know; I know; I know;
that can change your mind or change.the.
world.
enough for US to ever...work...
I keep telling my simple self
{some small part knows the truth}
But here I am still s p i l l i n g l e t t e r s...
...I s t i l l keep w a n t i n g......
you.

"****** my trigger
blame my gun"
And who knew...you... would have such an... effect
on/in me.
I see you had no intention...nor did
I...but...still
Dumb luck.
We had so much to say/mean/connect/upon
...and all/of/a/sudden
it was all I ever wanted...before
I knew what
I wanted..
And... that's how loving seems to go...
Chasing our ghosts,...while another chases us with
prose...
Each deciphering the can-not-haves///
from different ends of the... barrel.
And I have only sadness and longing
and joy....
For what you struck.in.me....
Because,... I know that my aim is
true...
...but my gun is too
weak.
And,... my darling, darling girl,...
I've been there,...
too.

this emp _ ti _ ness
[since you left]
can't
connect-the dots;
whatever.
comes. next
& i can't care
or even try
cuz **** if
i know
[₩hat even
matters]
what's even
>>>>>right
stuck-so-still
inyoursmile
| stalled | in your voice//
¡it wasn't my choice¡
& so
i just
       ~   float

I don't think... I.am.s orry are the right.
3. words to choose
They can't retract/remove/retrace the wreck
of all the ones I used
Oh/my/I couldn't help myself; Your voice was a sunrise
your words Neptune

Hearing you,Hearing you...Reading you,...reading
you,...reading you...

There was no other way this could go
...regardless of wisdom
and the light of ageless truths...of distance and time.//you
should know; passionate women are always
going. to. be. so,..
and with reckless abandon...
[the more it doesn't make
A
N
Y
sense] the hyper! incessant! flashing! green!
light! in my head...just blink-blink-blinking
me to keep spilling...the...letters/words/language/said...

{that.should.have.just.stayed.in.my.head}

and so here we are...it WAS the cru{foolish}
elest lie...when I tossed you my banner: I said
I.have.nothing.to.lose.
...so very wrong...I lost it all; and now I
don't
even
have someone to
Cry over Clementine
with.

Lips..;
your Mouth...
I want
N
ee
D
...to
Kn
...OW

of course,... I get it
Where/can/it/go
why.bother.even.try/ing
You're playing it smart
Protecting your
...heart.
For me...it's was just.too.late...
too many...connects;
...not every{any}
one is...like you,...and so that/is/my/problem.
The more im pos si ble// = so romantic
It's like fuel to a fire
...and the years/lifetime be/tween //me and you
scream how much more....learning
I have to do
And there is no fault...really,
...longing is.the.beast...
We've both been here before
You already know...
She {insatiable brute} will not
stop...//...harnessed heart...//leading
thoughts and pulling parts...until...
...maybe,...we have the guts
To set -- her --
Free;
onto you//into me

wide 》a》wake
as the mental musings
of howquicklymyfeetcould
take me any _ where _  you _  are
& no. thing. else. matters
~ there ~is the
{hope}less truth
who¿ is ever going to
to kiss me that//way
       .again.

you have a phenomenal...smile.., close to
a...**** eating grin, really...of epic proportions...it says...I know fuckingshit you don't know... and... I wanna color and do
Play-Doh with you...and when you share
it...well...one can feel...absolutely certain...
that you have carnal knowledge
of...every...inch...of...skin...and that
you...can...smell...the wet...between
the legs...at the sound...of your name...
and it's all swimming together in one...
marvelous...grin...and all at once...it's
******* lovely...

There was something in the way
she left nail marks in my...
shoulders...
and she rode me for hours...
and she liked to be up against
the shower...
and she told me to dosomethingabout_it...
and she liked to watch my eyes...with me
behind her...
and she begged me to tell her things in her
moment...
and she wanted all that I could give her.
The night we crashed into the table,../with
wine wetting the moments;
and on the carpet in the bedroom.
The way she took me in the kitchen,
{pressed against cool Lemon tiles; with
dinner burning}...
and she thought that I ought to
****/the/brat/right/outta/her...
it was so much to savor...
but knowing how I know her
...what she really needed was someone to
save
...her.

layers-of-you
| layers | of | truth |
is it ¿ still a lie¿
when you just. don't. say.
Who am i to = judge
i ~ had~ your mouth &
"maybe" a few other ones
but; here ^ you ^ are ^
《back 《 again
Stepping out//sliding in
how. easily. you'll. pull. me. in.
such  _.  a sucker {for those eyes.}
& slow gin
the ¡sound¡ you ¡make¡
whenyoufeelthepleasure
of _  the _ pain
how it #lingers [with you]
the/ next /day;
you don't _ ever _ have _ to _
saY

shades/of/gray
&thesoundofyourname;
when breathing = needing
&wishes;
are just. empty. cups.
&forgottensongs;
it's _ mostly <always> _ you _  
&poetry;
all the hues we heard
sk,...ip,...ping,.. ₩ords,...
like sk _ ip _ ping st _ one _ s
&yourheartbeatisall;
that could ever{really}matter
to ○ me

¿did i make it all up¿
what\ i \thought
this. was.
you _ just _ dropped _ off
whileiwassosure
of. this. love.

how ¥ou would
take/my/arm/
wheneverwewalked
i went along; ten-feet-tall
@thatundergroundbar
} our place on the couch {
& so. many. whispers.
& kisses.
& thoughts.
oh/who would-have-thought¿
it would >come >to >this.
all that we were[n't]
is _ all _ that _  i  _ want.
can't ^find ^the ^will
to. Just. move,..》   on.

there's been...enough... wine
but...not,...enough
time...to for-
get
a
Bout
You.

That's gonna take

more.

there are
so ¡many¡ times
when i \catch myself/
in °°wonder °•○●
¿how is it that
you are so
]] lodged ]in my ]]thoughts]]
ever ~sp~in~ning~ there
not {even really}
in.    my head,...
it's kind of
in. my. bones.
^cell<>ular^
from the | moment |
we met
on >the >edge
the precipice,.....of some _ thing;
}tangled{ in you.
& it's not as if i'm
//complaining.
only that i
don't - know - how
tonotmissyou

green eyes
pale skin
you- know- me- already
so much better than most
...the endless loop
of your mouth/and/your/words...
too young to walk
around with your ghost,...
old enough to know
what .you're. worth.
and the miles
...and years between us
...don't scare me...
but the steps I take
with~out~you
KEEP me
from getting any
sleep

...and after they had finished speaking...
tucked soundly in her sacred
bed...it...rained...it poured...the most
delicious sound her ears could hear...it
rained...and, so...christened...she and
she...and what it all could be....

& so
now~i~know
just _ how _ much
imeantto
you;
what all /of /those
late nights
& hours-on-the
phone
{were};
how you fell
aSLeeP in my
^arms^
& how you
held. my. hand.
[it's nothing]
It. Never.
Was.

not _ quite _ a _ shift
most\like\a
}}press{{
grasSsping at
'..",..slivers'..."
#whateverisleft
the | peace | that i found
#whateveritmeant
& all. Of. those. words. [you said]
live-on-to-loiter
in the <nagging>
[    silence    ]

Hung...
over.
Trying to get over...it
Half the time,..I don't even know what.I'm.
Doing...
There's been too much w (h) in e .
...I know
that much.

When the words
are no long er my
...allies
How I still covet
each... l e t t e r
shared
,...yet;now
she swears
<< timing >>
owns
every\Y\thing
& I
don't even...k{NO}w
whatthatmeans

stupId
(for you)
i know so  _ much _ better.
Been 》 There》and 《Back 《
(time&again)
~ smile\eyes\ lips.
can't. bear. to. go.
(anywhere).
& to <rest> in you
i'd give UP
all-of-the-things
(i thought i knew).
to simply be
| locked | in your
        .stare.

I.
Tripped/Fell/Crashed/Burned
In-
Love-
With-
You.

Sadly,...
That.
Is
The
End...
Of.
The.
Story.

I don't even know what.I. want.
...but there is such...beauty
In the longing
...you taught me
That.

letting...it...go
But/can/someone
...please...
Tell
me

What do I do with the [    space.    ]
left
...///between//

us