there ^is ^a ^sound
/it makes//
this.  falling~~down~
for you
it's late nights
& neckbites
whiskey
& red lights
it 》 rushes¡ in¡
to | spite | my | head |
co-ntra-dic----ts
the words <you said>
the + count+less+seconds+
since. we. met.
s imply s pent
running laps
toholdmybreath

just for the record
i always knew how lucky
i was next to you

walking along i
look up at the moon
it's only a silver sliver
an end to summer
&so.;        i thought of
you;
the tiny pieces
left ^inside ^of ^me
always
[in all ways]
just _ under _ my _ skin
not really a pain
mostly//likely
an ache
nestledthere
behind
my ribs
along with the 》 long.   ing
burrowed
withinthemarrow
of each
bone

I watched the sun...rise...
Naturally (these,days) my thoughts.... drift.to.her.
~as they seem to do~
orange, and, blue, orange, and, blue,
And I've always had faith in the universe
Knowing the lessons were there...
...Somewhere.
But this time....this one.woman.
《poetinmyheart》
It doesn't seem quite... fair
I wasn't ......l o o k i n g
I did. Not. need.
I/was/con.tent.
being.
How is it that I stumbled upon...her
The path;each step;...cruel shoes
...wonder//how I ever wandered...
...On that road that-led-to-her
I AM NOT this girl...
I don't just.... fall,...
Not.like.this...
Mostly,...--- not. at. all,...
I even told her...how I/don't/think/I've/met my greatest love,..yet
And,..yet....
I'm wounded and I'm b a f f l e d
And feelingsosmall...
...this longing so desparately
For.her.eyes/hands ^smile/voice
...alloverme
And all of it just- a - l-o-n-g - list
Of what-I-
can...Not
--------- have...
.here. I. am.
///Stalled///
...maybe I...can...
feel Grateful {nonetheless}
For f/i/n/a/l/l/y
Feeling... this way
....at all....
Now I know---I CAN...
I guess there is.a.lesson
in ...being...
s/m/a/s/h/e/d/....

Until her...
....I thought I was just...
... broken.

fun//ny how
hazel
made. me. forget.
i HaTe Vegas
just like; auburn
canmakeme
visit _ the _ mall
&thos;; sliver limbs
&dim;;° waist°
}my} hands} fit
perfectly'round
can >make >it >all
make. sense.
all | those | things | i
#neverwanted
&presssedagainstherhip;
just >for>get >a>bout
anything i. thought.
might; matter.
&wh;; cares¿
[let'sbehonest]
what's-so-great
about~wants~anyway¿
& 'when 'she ''trace'''s
the veins >in >my >arms
with her del _i _cate
fingers
just 》go 》ahead
ask. the. cream.
¿if she cares for honey¿

you like to say poetry is everywhere...I'd like
to say it dances on your lips...tangled in,...
your hair,...swimming in your eyes,...tattooed
on your skin,..the freckles on your
chest,...your hands that hold whiskey and
books,...coffee cups,...and tiny hands that
bring so much love,...Poetry thrives in your
smile,...your laugh,...your *******,...the wet
reminder of longing and lust...the poetry
is,..you

don't _ know
>>don't >>care
you/are/just lodged. in. my. ribs.
youarejustnestedinside
& it's alright
i\don't\mind
i walk the dog
i £ive my £ife
it's ~ only ~ when ~ i see the
sun ^^rise^^ the
bl°ue° sky°
whenever. i. breathe.
or think¡ about¡ life¡
that _ i _ even
》no 》》tice

my
LipPps

On.your.

LipPps
and

d e
...lic
...i
o...
U... S. sss. sss

& there i go
it's a slippery
sl  o _ PE
starts
in ^my^ chest^
pulled
< ti   ght>
just
a }pinch{
at. first.
shades
" i n "ch i "ng
d
   O
       Wn
behind. each. of.
my. EyEs.
the - moment - i - know
i've gone
#toofar;
while~ you~
nevereven

    left.

breathing
through one lung
just fingernails
to hold on
& breaths
& hope
[bitemytongue]
just a
sliver
left,...
choking on
the hollow sound
of
un
done

shift & press
lungs/chest
all-your-words
whattheymeant
hum & scream
you/me
in-my-head
inmydreams
far & between
focus/see
what-is-left
holdmybreath
push & pins
loss/sin
when-standing-still
lossofwill

i  _ don't _ know
whatthisis
i'm calling it,
don't ^know ^if ^it's ^all ^too ^much
or if you _ don't _ know
how. to. love.
enough/ is/
enough
how you come
& go
while i just
stay
,...
 #put

My legs are growing  ~weary~
walking with these boulders.on.my.chest,...
have to focus on each ^bre{inoutinout}ath^
while I'm spinning to ¤de¤ci¤pher,...
be\tween the right/and\wrong
....and the [s p a c e ] in be-tween,...

I know I fell for you,...but that's no reason
to》hold》 it 》against me,...
even when I held 《you《against 《me,...
it was always the words...
and the s/h/a/r/i/n/g that matter most,...and I just...
wAnt...thAt...AgAin,...

Let's <carve> out a space that is... just//ours
... to share,...
it doesn't have to be what anyone...
... e.x.p.e.c.t.s,...
But the gap_ that's been
>>>left>>>>>>
... by the words-and-wants-we-shared
is a vastness that's haunting,...

...it just feels so... ₩rong...

& i don't want to be heavy
but I'm on.my.knees.now,..
for some words//letters//sounds,...
to make ~sense~ of the beauty
we,...just,... left,....
,
......ontheground

¿what's it about '...,,
idontknowtheletters;
i _ dont _ know _ your _ :"code
maybe
you
get _ off 》》
knowing\know\known
how. Much. i. want. you.
you have; yourself
&whateveryou;
meant.
all >of> the >someones
who _ you've _ met;
noquestionsasked
no. second. thoughts.
you make {the love}
you-take-it-all,...
only^to^say
    you _ can't _ ;
&you; won't

it was a ○ hit & a
'    miss
isuppose/whoknows¿
here.we.are.
712 _ days _ >>>> later
{,...and count^^ing^^}
Guinness ~~has ~me
#remember
whiskey-helps-me
= | forget |
yet
nothing
¡¡ F I L L s
meuplike
•°○ you

some sentiment
yousimplycan'ttouch
>>> or sa [Y]
some. thing. in. your. eyes.
held _ in _ a _ stare _<<
begging^me^to^know
only to blink _ it.       A.   w.   a.       y

youtoldmeyourname
{asked me in}
\sang\me\your\song\
& he doesn't give you what you need
yet you're still 》walking 》back》》》

i'll just keep sip _ p _ing
my whiskey
AllTheTimeKnow _ ing
the tingle on <>my <>lips
is yours/////we could

your mouth...I want to bite your lips...****
on each and kiss you for hours...That proud
nose, those bottomless green
eyes...eyes...the eyes have it, that those
brows frame in vain.....Features,
that,...form the most interesting face I've
ever ....Seen...BeaUtiful...yesss...but more,
more,...morethanthat...and I just keep
finding That face...and ***...this is
ridiculous...and ****...*******...****...I'm a
******* of the highest degree to want
and want...can't have can't have...and really
you shouldn't be had at all...not that
we had a chance...Years and miles.Miles
and years...but God
knows...knowing...knowing...knowing all of
this...My.dear.God.,...I'd still die to be
underneath you.

i'm ch _ o _ ck  _ ing
^On ^It
the glass
lodged. in. my. chest.
you / need / some
' '' '''  time
you're not | ready |
For.
This.
yetmydarlingdearestlove
>ask >ing
this to
#stop
is like [[holding onto]] eels;
& trying to find brakes
is like trying ~to ~chew  ~steel;
& i know you mean
the best sweetheart
& i-know-that-time
₩ill  tell
but the be(   space   )tween
the }now{  & then
    is
simp    ly
£iving
h€ll

i don't know what. silence. is. for.
i've _ got _ no _ use _ for _ it
you 《****** 《me《 in
and spit》 me》 out》 so quick
who/can/say
who\can\say
wak'ing' to' the' rain'
{is always somekind of miracle}
& thewayyoureadtome
is a ^ spite^ful ^dream^
what/for
what\for
as if #knowing
wouldmakeitanybetter
a girl has to hope ~ for ~ some~thing
to. stop. the. bleeding.
you/don't/say
you\don't\say

timing-never-mattered
to me
i still crave you in my bed
{regardlessofthatnonsense}
& all those things
you (said (to (me
Nevermind, darling;
you're so. pretty. in. those. jeans.  
Yes; let's
~dance ~to ~your ~favorite
song

& how you
shrug-me-off
words and thoughts
takeanothershot
,...i think,... i know
you see~m
inclined;
but
\don't

fit _ to _ be _ tied
          to you
ifyoudon'tknow
what. you've. found.
how/can/ i
      be of any help
<these arms> have grown ₩eary
from #hangingaround

Ok,....
here _ we _ are;
《back 《again.
{i can't breathe....}
don'tknowwhoiam
¿How could i miss
the° signs°
the cu€;
What you. Meant¿

You held\ my hand\
You let \ me in\
yet, here you are,
~telling ~me
there-is-nothing-there,...

[i'm so] confused
¿have i gone mad¿
Howdidimiss
what-ever-it-is;
your intent¿

You^ took^ my^ heart,
in-your-hand
& just as quick.
You. toSSed. it.
back.

I can't shake ...
the hold/the clasp/the clench...
All/my/air.
...she told me... I/had/a/
....good //name.
...And
I can't-explain-to-anyone
(She's probably the only
heartbeat to.get.it//said it)
...why it even...matters.
But the sentiment has. ..
... s. t.
>U.
>C.
k.
And i'm Swallowing marbles
...At the thought/of/it
[IKnowsheknowsiknow]
In the end...
It's those {little}
...Things
that so easily could go... <un-noticed>
{WE noticed everything
sheandi}
..That was the beginning
Of the beginning
[That barely got a start]
So many ~little~ things...
//armwrestlingpoetswhiskeyart//

In the end it's so... p l a i n...to see

...it's so.often.the {small---est} shards...
that cause.the.most.
...harm.

this. place. is.
haunt. ed.
{buildings aren't just
buildings}
& feelings aren't
|  forgotten  |
i can {still} see~your~
apartment
<<< more-than-a
memory <<<
¡there¡ we made out
in /my \car
& we walked
these/same/blocks
you
^On^My^Arm^
set in my breath
you;
so 'stu'ck in 'my 'head
i can stay a₩ay
yet
there. you. are.
¿₩hen ₩ill it
| end |?

I think I dreamed you up...probably/maybe
it's the whiskey
Here one minute...late night phone calls....then
gone
-------it's only an illusion
I'm stuck on----
That would be the gentler truth...any other...
than your vanishing...
cause you knew all the authors...we chimed
in on
...stanzas
You had no idea; how much it all
mattered...
I so caught up
...I weaved you words polished in wine
to be greeted by...
silence...
left/a/lone
to write sappy lines....

How I woulda, coulda,...shoulda...

taken.my.time.

No _ Body
<empties> me
Quite. Like. You.
it _ only _  takes
threelittleletters
}suCH a simple word{
& i caN'T breath
or see
Each. Time.
you ^men^tion^

[she]

The eternity of moments...waiting
mo...ments.....
does she know what I
meant?...well it means everything,.. but
that's too much...If only I could have
stopped
...my silly heart overtakes my head
and my hands,... just keep
writing....it...
down.  Keep spilling...my words and
soul,,, turned inside out//exposed///
Howmuch- howgood-howunique...to feel a
kindred...heart...
SPlattER...my silly heart all
over the page and ...handing.it.over.
a coffee mug stain
of shameless/vulnerable/bold/
Really,...and now
we know
just ill advised... because,...everyone
knows,...
truth/passion/romance
died
long ago... and all of the words... are just too
much,...
too, too, too
much

Idon'tknow
.....how to stop. it.
O
Ver
Whelm.
.ed
You.
Your words
.....voice.....
So many things to say, to say,...to SaY
You.
Your. Eyes. Separate sentences...
Mouth. and Lips, lips, lips, That should be in my//mouth.
Smile 》》
My. chest. is. Tight
Clinching., l;,....
{silly me\silly me}
...Oh. dear. God. how _ I  _ could _ love you
I know/no/now
therearesomany miles, mountains, days be....tween....
& so
i Walk Alone,....won. der. ing upon
the tortured soul,...
....you seem to be;
holding.

ju* st another *sun day
^^UPSIDE^^ d
                      own
》inside《              》out 《
~~ pull ~ me ~ Ap~ ar ~ T
caN'T put. it. back.
#kiddingmyself
you mi gh t change-your-
mind ))
stack uP those minUtes
{buy back my life}
stu _ ck  __  he _ re
facedownonthefloor
some how/some way
| isn't | getting it;
done.

breathe. you. in.
Sun~day~morn~     ings
tuckedincottonsheets
& i'm stuck in Tuesdays
it's> close
it's> progress >>
get\ting\clos\er
brown-sugar-in-my-coffee
morning ^walks^
#remindme
just _  how _ far
away;
¿how can you sleep¿
k{now}ing
our melt
it leaves°me °hanging°
》you go    》 on
over. there.
[ill be here]
ifeveryoushould
₩ant
me

i seem to
have-so-much-to-say
to
you
i want you
to know/the/whole/story
    the rest
justdoesn'tmatter
how did it ever
...come to this...¿
i've always been so
...comfortable...
in. my. own. shadow.

what.
]] will it ]] ever
take;
scrape /you /from /my /bones
squeeze } you { from my soul
if. only. to.
forget.
hazel
& those hands
for
your ~ laugh ~ to be
less than a  | memory |
& (mercifully)
left -out -of -my
dreams
time cr _ aw _ ls a _ lon __ g
while 《whiskey《 brings 《you
back
those sad songs [i favor]
^have me^
#sittingonthefloor
while words & rhymes
simply shred;
₩hat€ver
is
@left

I've had them FA{ithinkiwanttodateguys}ST

I've had them SL{imsooverthis}OW

I've had a wi{justdome}fe

I've had a di{idontwantanykids}vorce

But this time it was all coffee arm wrestling sexwax....and
whiskey
.... then
[                                     ]

I think you know;
how I want you
there's so much
in/be/tween //     us;
[that. we. know.]
yet i'm sitting here
alone
how we can run》so 》hot》
justtogo.         cold
i'm breaking down
each ~time ~ you're~ shut^t^ing ^off
& i know your reasons
}}}live  your life in doubt{{{
but ¡these ¡changes¡
in seasons
just. bring.
                   me.
                           down.
Recall our mmmmmeeeeeellllllllllttttt
and mo|me|nt|s
RElease your ^guarded^
heart.
Be//cause darling, darling
If you don't-  know- by- now
You Can Never Know
howmuchthisgirl
wants. your. love.

I drink from the b°ot°tle°
,...these days
Let's just cut-to-the-chase
what I thought mattered
was your wasted space
But no matter//no worry
I'm glad. for. this. ache.
at least I have felt it
I don't. have. any. shame.
I refuse to feel sorry (or any regret)
you own so much beauty
I'm just another some//body who
....F
        E
             L
                  L
... for it

it\doesn't\take\
@ genius
to know
you're. doing. it. wrong.
spendingyournights
swear _ ing; swearing _ ing; swear
ing

this life is too.     ~ long ~

shiPwreCKed
&   all.    stretched.     out
hands | gone |   hol. low
mouth\ just\ a \ gap
&lips; and lips&lips;
still sting from the sliver
{of her kiss}
teeter on the° tip° of° it°

what. Ever. is.    left  

it'sthewreck
in your: chest
= some mess of ribs
&the; bits of spine
{not enough to}
stand up. 》               Fine;

   ....   you.   stay.   still.  

what's ¿one ¿more night
On the <cool> kitchen Floor
#everything in reach
allthethingsyouneed
none of this is €asy//

ju _ st-keep-on
          < >  breath <  > ing <  >

How. I. wish.
her....po//ems.S.sssss
Were.
about
m
E

how does she¿
seem to know
the moment I'm letting
Go;
She reaches for me
again
>>>****** in>>>
drowning in
hazel eyes
& pale skin
This hell i'm in;
she won't have me forward
only let's us
begin

I can't see the sunset
without her
My eyes blink open
to her name
& yet
She. Won't. Own.
me
¿Is it all
just some silly
Game¿

how many minutes will it take
there is a sound it makes
peeling back my skin
would be easier

it was always the birds
and the freckles
on your chest
that mattered to me

and i only hear
your breathing now
or nothing at all
stranded in cotton sheets