you. called. me. beautiful.
{I can't lie}
it was nice to hear
but >your >words >and >your >motions
don't own {the same} grace
you spil~led ~so ~many ~syl~la~ble~ssss
about being vulnerable
//owning//moments//
workedmyselfuptothechallenge
you-had-the-nerve-to-claim-   it
a_ w _ k _ w_ a _ r _ d
no| consequence| to| me| in the end
youhavetowakeupwithyourself
{my dear}
i have only sadness for you
----and-the-parts-of-you-you're---
FooLinG

it's × burnt × toast
&allofthethings;
you. let. go.
until _ _ there is [   nothing.  ]
}tohold{
& you-don't-know
if the ~salt~~water~
really matters
it could. be. the. waves.
the cl°ink°° of the ice
in ^her ^cocktail
or >her >eyes >or >her >nose
¿who knows?
a \ NY \way\
what-does-it-matter-now
{haditever}
| whatever |she wanted
》ebbs》《 and 》《flows》
her £ips
~ your ~mo~uth~~
&
#gone

I  _ try _ hard
tohidethe scar
you. made. quite. an. impression.
couldn't you have
JuST p》un》ch》ed
all the way ¿through¿
Even a Ga>__<pping Hole
would be  #better
than the gravel that
Still. Remembers.
being ₩hole

you. know.
just _ how
to bring me
tomyknees
it >must >please >you >so
& you\tease\ it
the-whole-while;
₩** knows. me. so. ₩ell.
i can't "tell" if i even
care 》《to 》《breathe
this {need} is
killing
| me |

Words that fell so...easily
...now stalled within my mouth.
Our static/electric/con-nec-tion
...faint and all but ground.ed.out.
Violet/crimson/tangerine
...whitewashed to simple gray.
The tension of.the.wanting
...slackened-slip-knot...
given; way.
My head is above^ground^again
...My feet treaded/your/way
Now that you've chosen...n o t h in g
...only scattered letters
....left...to...claim.
The spell...has been/b/r/o/k/e/n.
...You made your point-of-pain;...
you,...so convinced 'defeat and ruin'
...the only outcomes gained.
Your reasons and your why's
{You so clea(n)r-ly cling to fear}
There's a calm...you've...found
....in-holding-on to old love and/old/tears.
Although I tend/to/let/slip ONLY
..what's been torn from my clenched F ist S.
I realize in my heart-break-moment
There.... is.a.certain//...
...Mercy...
...found.../in/this.

Our toes were in the sand,...
when I saw your eyes
...fade
Something in the timing of your...blink
...something vacant in all//that//green
So vivid; the moment//sepia tone Poloroid in
my brain.
...more honestly,...I felt it,... mostly
You had stopped
seeing
///me.
Ohhhhh,... you let~me~love~you
one.more.time.
You rushed in and then.you.were.out.
{how you always liked to
Come
and go}.
And there was little ten/der/ness in it
Your eyes had always pul(owned)led me
in...

Until. that.
Mo/ment
...and I Knew.
It was
over.

.

fli》ck》》ed to the ground
smash me down
not\be. fore\ you\ set
my skin on fire
how _  i _ burn _  for _  you
suckmein
sweet s[ed]uction
ling^er^ in your mou^^th
{your breath
my desire}
if only// i were a nasty habit
¥ou €ould. not. break.
itwouldbeenough
to stick; around

How she can c
                          l
                           A.
                             i. {havehearditfromthestart}
                              m
All. She. Wants. Is.

toBeLOVE---Ed

How she could have that
^^^^^ 1000 ^^^^         ^^^^ over ^^^^^^
                              times

But in>>>  stead she chooses the ones
who.         don't.

&I;'M stifling a S C R E A M
i'm punching imaginary  |||||  walls

I've  grown weary of BiTinG-My-TonGue, dear
,...oh the blood tastes a b\it\te\r pinch

It's so hard tofeelsorry a-bout
the lessons you've learned, l _ _ ov _ _ e

Because;.... it isn't eno.  ugh

You haven't really OpeneD your I's.
at all,....@

how >you >love
totiemeIN~ knots
get ^me ^hop^^^ing^
and CUT-ME-OFF
i grew you daffodils
&you;; favorite rose
what's. in. it. for. you.
¡what¡
¿could you want¿
《pull 《me 《 in
shove. me. out.
having me {be sure}
i'm crazy
So C _;oLD
if you are try"ing"""
to make me hate you
it's >[[>[>>working
or ~~maybe, you sense
i love you
most/when/you/say
No
{whoknows}

al{one}
with> my >glass >of
w{h}ine
i /fail /to /shed
the "fli""ck"er" '' ' '
of your flame
de _ spite y _ our logic
& my
shame
too. blind. to. see
@light
therewasneverany
~sense~
<to us>
not. really. ever.
&certainlynot;
#tonight

Muse;
~ if you only knew ~
how. long. it's.        been
since i
even/had/the
heart
[to care]
beenin&  out
》shallow》in _ discretions
motions  w/ no | e | motion
meaning^^less
in-their-vanity
& here. you. are. _
reminding me
what this 'beat''ing' is even
For.
& for the first time
{in so long}
i want.
MorE

My reasons...
Lack reason.
Shared paper/words/
wants.
Con\nec\tions...
...SNAPS and ...dots...
Don't.know.what's.missing.
Until... you... find...it...
//Own my heart//
Own/my/thoughts
And I never had you at all
...But how I  want you
    So.little.time.
spilledwords---spilled wine
On paper <insignificant>
...I suppose...
holding hands by holding rhymes
If marked in tempo...if marked in time
...Barely a cursive i
Still//stillness... I,...Left here...
...am haunted
{Spector of your smile}
-ScribblingMyVitals-
Prose to quell the ache
....finally awake....
Left to linger in the wake:
the joy of your hello;
Deceives the
...the s l i c e of/your/
good//bye.
...minutes too slender
Yet my skin... knows...
the bite.

you tip,...toed,... in
a _ gain
your perfume
just |an |empty
bottle
{i'vekept}
like. words.
so/ man/y syl/la/bles
spent #promises
{wecouldn'tkeep}
so | full |
of the = memories
even. now.
i'd >still >go >there
{withyou}
the °smell °°of °you
sends Me
to Ne₩ ¥ork in Jul¥
& the ¡taste ¡of ¡you
in. my.
hands.

i just wanted to hold. your. hand.
and sing all the songs
at the top^of^our ^ LuNg _ s
likewedid on a Saturday inthatoldtown#bar

there was a _ space _  in time
minutesandhours
we~so~en~twin~ed
i-finished-your-sentences
while­ you pen//ned/ in/ mine

and the pages of lettersandwords
of love ^and ^loss and ^longing
made our bed & held our hearts
binding-us-together in those thoughts

it was some. kind. of. magic.
only known by those who feelthescore
and hear 》the 》colors and always
always,...in all ways...seek the,.... more

how you touched e\ver\y inch ofmybody
the sweet se^duc^tion of your mind
most in. ti mate experience
beforeweeverevenmet

how I-had-to-have-you
and how you 》gave 》》in
our kissing drew audience
but I neverfeltanyone in the room but you

and I couldn't have your lips enough
how I didn't want. to. stop.
how you>felt^ in^ my >hands
how you ta _ _st _ _ ed inmymouth

& how you went si(gh)lent
how you just c//u//t//me//out
like I was some °°°°cancer;
...as if none-of-it-mattered

where are you now//
i want the girl~that i met
Who told me how I was ****//ing her
...because I knew. what. she. meant.

            all the words we shared

how can you bear to deny it?

How can you bear to deny it, ..

how can you b(e)ar(e) it,...?

Can't tell you why I'm up
...exhausted in sleep.
It could be the suffocating heat
the beers I had to drink.
...but you said you'd call...
and I'm thinking of all the reasons I made up
in/my/head,...that I haven't heard
from you in 14 days/2weeks/336 hours...
When we shared so Many Words
{And it meant so much
And I want you so much}
...and you are still spinning prose,...so I know
You are up....
I've waited...to hear from you
...and now I know why I'm up.

so,...
tellmedarling
once & for all
¿what does this
mean _ to _ you
if. an//y//thing {at all}
because you
came-to-me
& we were so
raw & 》》yet,
^here
^we
.     #are,..
i feel as f. a. r.    
[from you]
as
| ever | ...

on & off
where. does. it. stop.
oh,..how
youknowhowtokissme
,...so _.      slow
&
^^^^^^ in>>>tense
& yet
you
[ insist ]
i'm. not.
what you
#want
even _ as
you
| **** | in your breathe
& gasp your
)>>>release
My tongue; your
Pul - SE;
' ' nails
in my
~ ~ skin.
back/again.
Let{ting} go
,...let me
{in}

i feel
myself;
inthequiet
& i can.
breathe.
          again.

that #smile
liGHT me uP!!!
Sssss. Smack. a. grin. all. over. my. face.
<<<sh^^^a>>>>k^^^^^ing>>>>>my head
So_ silly _ I _ guess
{when you talk}
trysohardtohearthewords
While; the.  whole. time
my ¡ head¡  screams¡¡¡

You are s. I m. P. Ly  

the most bE-A-UtifUl

    .girl.....

How the feel. of. you. lingers
<been looking for some.... one; I
can be a\lone __ with>
... in your arms i seemed to get myself
a//  Way from;...me

time just didn't 't' i' c' k' ' '  the same
Nospacebetweenyouandme
tan~g\l~~ed~ uP in-your-sheets

On your mouth I;
(((no longer treading water)))
could.     b. R. e. a. t. H.     again

I'mtryingtoexplain;,...

how; your hands-in-my-hair
made my loneliness leave.  me. alone.
notforminutesbut for {h} ours

and:,...Since having^your^tongue^
things just-won't-taste-the-Same
My memory guards. the. meaning;
.... of my FaVoRiTe New Years ...day

Swal. Low.  you d.  
                            o.  W.
                                     n

La // pp // ing you u^P^^

it's a slow & steady
  b _ u _ r  _ n

throat
ribs
gut

it's the 《memory》of
your t. o. u. ch
                    {slight of hand}
Oh/o/o
thewayyoualways
come &  _ go//come &  _ go

I'll never really
KnoW// JusT HoW MuCH
I'll pay
     }} in - the - end {{{{
for; such ^a ^lovely ^little ^
cuP

spin* ning*
in the wo _ n _ der
all\of\the\words
she. said.
& there; there is her °°laughter°
who can remember a thing
>after
that
¿

I like to pre _ tend how you
broke. my. heart.
somucheasiertohateyou
But I have your dog
and I keep\ him\ near
While I'm kil'ling' the' h'''ours
sift{ing th{{rough} {{pic{ture{{{s
Still. those. brown. eyes.
make ~ me ~ qui~v~er
& it's not-supposed-to-matter
how you sk》》ip》p》ed away
while my guts tripped.  in _ your _ wake
Ihaveallthoselovenotesinabagnow
along with your; necklace
thank GoD for. the. whiskey.
shots^full^of^forgiveness^

¿how to¿
make _ peace _ w/ _ time
<that
bitter sense**
of-the-moments-which
grate\my\bones
<some
end~less~ re~ver~ie
#whereyouare
& if there. are. any.
thoughts> of> me
<maybe
[it's just me]
or may _ be it's }} {obsess}ing
& i'm stuck || stalled ||
<here
my^ hand^ in^ the^ air^
be>gg>ing <[> for
¥our
<scru° tin°   y°

You can't...really blame her;...it was fall
and,...so...she fell...Tripping along through
Clementine and Nin.,,,the sweet seduction
of...this stanza,...these words//yes,..{yes}
I feel it, too/two/to...
Stumbling...through...the
wanting ...to.hear.her.voice,,..//shared//..,,heart
breaking;...with Ray and soaring with Zoe,...taking the
leap..,,///
~There aren't many out
there who care so much about words~...she
so s.t.u.ck. in my head...crash to my knees,...
the{oh ****}landing//that h u r t s
...but the rush,..the way down....the
weightlessness,...short eternal
flight.  Soaring// through space;
...bird
...heart beat.
Counting
time,... it's everything,..and it's everything..to have
a falling heart is to have...
everything...
Every
Thing.

i re __ ally
havebeentrying
you. know.
>> letting> it >go
is just a bit(e) more
than
| starving |
ch\ok\ing
'br''eak/ing
~~peel~~in~g

let. another. one.
》》go
she _ didn't _ slow _ dance
&shedidntlaugh;
[like you]
she didn't drink ₩hiskey
or read #poetry
¿what was i supposed
to do¿
don't-know-how-to-need
what's in 》front 》of 》me
for | however | long | | there are |
stars&divebars;
i'll °keep °looking°
~ for ¥ou

sitting #myfloor
AgaiN
nothing new
THaT. song. comes. on.
《I'm《 back &
| locked |
in ~your ~smile
breathing-you-in
such a love[ly]
re\col\lec\tion
soFuLL
& _ so _
sc'at' ' ter' ed ''
<°in °pieces°°>
all at. the. same.
Ti }me{
the ache = a small matter.
play it; a_gain
(let's)

XY

what a thing to;
think.
as _ if_ i _ ever
hadtheguts
[for this]
pour it out》 let her in
swallowed whole &
left alone.
suck it uP
now//now
i know//how
it's my.   own.    ******.
fault.

i can't. even. remember.
thelasttime i could
re<mem<<ber
my dreams
¥et
waking 》this morning
{so certain} you had been
here.
i swear i could taste you
on^ my^ lips^
it was how. you. looked.
at. me.
& wh((is((pered that you
had-never-been
kissed
like _ that _ before
andiheldyouthere
& had | your | mouth;
~even ~though
i had. to. wake.
Dear God
it-was-the-most de _ li _cio us
sleep
i've
#known

w/your hands in my hair
who could care
if Venus is on the wrong
side of the moon
{{can't blame us; we are all}}
trying to get closer to you

hand-in-hand-in-hand

we fit so nicely on your hip
i wish i could have
met your mom
let's get in my  car
& not look back
we don't have to call it; love

hand-in-hand-in-hand

when kissing = breathing
¿how can i stop
stare at my beer
while i drink in those
hazel eyes
so happily-happy
suffocating
on the feeling

I'm sorry my, dear
But you
just
aren't
Her
...I could only give you what's left of my
heart
...Now,...; isn't that a
lo(n)vely
Start...

My regrets, sweetheart..
You look so pretty in that dress,
As I watch you undress...
...and you fit the space in my bed so
Nicely;
...a reprieve from its emptiness.

My apologies, my girl;
I know you want to love me through
tomorrow;
but-that's-just/not/fair.

I feel badly, my darling...
...It's not/your/fault.
She's seeped in my teeth
and nothing tastes.the.same.
...since she's gone...

I'll tell you, beautiful one,
Thank you, for how you
Hold me.
...It's nice here...
But I
just
can't
...stay.
Since September;,...everything
changed.

i don't even
know why i
look
as if i wasn't
so. thoroughly. aware.
of what you
Do To Me
oh~ you'll~ be~ there~
you & your tragic grace
orangeeyebrows&gypsytears;
ravenwings&torridwords;
you-just-go-ahead &
dance there
with/your/beer
& i'll just try. not. to. die.
each time;
because it's the knowing
even >in >the >moments >be >fore
how _ I'll _ regret _ it
in the ^same ^instant ^
one can feel so completely
[      empty.     ]
only< after << feeling so
completely
F  [[u]]  LL

Her loving is wan__ing
...it creeps in
it crawls out...
Who's behind the curtain
...is ta^ng^led in doubt
And it's wr\ench\ing
...and charming
...and beautiful//too
it's all-that-you-wanted
It's all that you knew
...and the more you try. to. fight. it.
The more you only
...lose.

if// only// you// could
Let. It. Go.
youhavesomuch
~~~~ All of you
ripe to be l o v e d
And the songs we could s
                                             i
                                               N
                                                 Nnnng...
Making love>>by reading words
youhavesomuch
but no-one-can-
t _ o _ u _ c _ h
   y o u
& oh. how. i.  want. to.
Sooooo,...now I sit-on-that-throne
....No
o _ n _ e
com^pare^^^s
to
   you
thecomfortyou'vefound
in your dr
               (own)
                      ing》》》》
I saw what>you're>made>of

and;....I know that it-sca//red-you
   you
,...so un₩illing
To Know Your Own
,...w_ o _ r _ th,...

it's not-the-end-that-i
》》looked for
\but // here we are
there _ is _ some
relief
maybe; i can wrestle back
allthethoughtsinmyhead
that ~have ~been ~so
tAngLeD uP in YoU;
#truth
was _ al.    ways
there. to. see.
but who¿ doesn't¿
yearn for * fire * * works *
[whatever works]
wearealljust
trying-to-get-by
have to wonder what my vowels
& verbs
will. have. to. say.    
. _ . _ . > Now

the' min'utes' be\tween
every-minute-with-you
are e. _  ver _  lo .     ng
you ^ra^di^ate
some. kind. of.
°magic°
when /holding/your/hand
isn't
just,.....;
it'severy*single*thing
my<undivided>joy
#touching
= breathing through
my whole 》body
<not just my shoulders>
&afterthesemoments;
time is _ br>o _ >ken
ea'ch ' tick ' of ' the 'clock'
is. not. the. same.
[&me;]
for | ever | chang_ ed
how the minutes@thereafter
}without{
you
linger
some. kind. of.
torture;
too __< long
¿when will we touch
again¿

the image of you
{owns my eyes}
play//rewind》replay
one _ thousand _ times
a [captured] moment
you. laying. there.
Sssssidewaysssss on the mattress
the ~ cur~ve ~ of your ~hips~

dip of your sp.    ne
                           i
a>>>rms>>>
wrapped around
head on my chest
mybreathyourbreathmybreath
[how you] buried¡ yourself¡ inside¡
& i ' am ' stuck ' there,'  / my dear
soblissfully
| con | tent |
time •○ stopped•○
thispicture.   pre _ sides

can't u<n<d<o what's been done
the gap that once- held- a- heart
is bound to a girl
who. wants. no. part.

in the lov\ing and long\ing
that tears me A. p.   a.    r. T.
cause the mind^might^know^better
but there's-no-convincing the heart

De》spite what's better for me
... to be loved and HeldSoClose
how do I [shadow. ]]]]]]  the memory
of what I wanted,... most ¿

Oh, the irony; how I never
really had. her. at. All
still;,.... left alone spinning
I'm left alone //stalled//

this hopeless ro°man°tic°
keeps playing a game I. can't. win.
time can't e《《《rase her beauty;
OR how she seeped in

It's like beating>my> head>>
against the same spite||ful wall
...but giving-up-is-just-giving-in
By God, the re■so■lute should... win

I couldn't make her keep me
been-on-my-knees for_so _long
~    And now. I. see. the
                the writing on the wall ~~~~
It's the same for you now,...as you/want/me
to love you// you want me to fall

& isn't that such a...s  h  a  m  e
why does it have to be\ that\ way¿
So much loving, and, passion, and, good,
        tossed》 to》the 》winds;

...  lostinthe  ...  would/ should...{if only I}
... Could

Slipping do
W
n
The rabbit hole...
Thoughts and wants and thoughts and
wants...
spinning,...gloriously spinning
Can't wipe this...
Smile...off my face just thinking your...name
And your words and your...voice...the
sounds of you...
......burrowed inside of me
And it's Last thoughts and First thoughts and
First and Last, last and first...and waking to
the wet wanting of
your skin all over me...

let _ me
| camp | here
inyourgaze
sleep> there>
on. your. lips.
[wrap-me-up] in your
words & your
^arms^
here's the 'simple' "
#truth;
i can fi\nal\ly breathe
aga**in

i don't. know. the.
word; there's
the s
             in
                   K
& the }}} p   e  e l
all i taste is in
(vain)
she's said
she so  [rare] ly
| standsstill |
& i know
those things i
need.
there is no 》get》ting 》
#there w/her
besttojust
for.      get.

there ^is ^a ^sound
/it makes//
this.  falling~~down~
for you
it's late nights
& neckbites
whiskey
& red lights
it 》 rushes¡ in¡
to | spite | my | head |
co-ntra-dic----ts
the words <you said>
the + count+less+seconds+
since. we. met.
s imply s pent
running laps
toholdmybreath