{tan}g}led} in your sheets
don't-know-what-it-means
i only know
your taste
andIjustwantyouto
>come>>again>>>
you'll _ tell _ me _  i _ should
let. it. go.
be/cause/you/don't
trustyourself at all
in~the~end
i need to know
the》 sound》 in 》your》 throat
when\YouLetMe\in
& you.   let.  go.
[knuckle deep]
¡tongue¡ explores¡
#lostinyourmoments
I want
...more.

it doesn't happen. So. often.
waking with the tears° in° my° eyes°
ive gone 23 days withoutathoughtofyou
Ok...ma _ y _ be a few
the tears flow none/the/less
so//i supppse//i'm still st. U. ck I; guess

I think//I think//Toooooo MuCH

keep {shuf{flin{ggg through
it'snotevenreallyaboutyou
~ who/who,.. I barely even knew
it's the 》flight》 you found and how the ^hope^ you planted healedthesore
...oh hell; I-don't-really-know-anymore
your words s. e. E. p. Ed in&p;  _ ulled the trigger; on a belief of what was pos/si/ble;
a ch _ ance #something bigger,...

,... Ididn'tevenknowthat I needed

It's a bitter bite that now lives. in. my. chest.
having caught-a-glimpse-at-what-was-best
...in me,..in you... in po\ten\tial\...in truth
,...but then, a>>>>>gain...
That's _ what _ poets _ do _
& the ~poet ~ is ~ you
you own. ed. me with. words.
Idon'tknowifi'llever ,...,...recover

i just. want. you.
<as ever>
allthevowels
& consonants
whatever-it-meant
it was just _ you
& me &
allofthewords
sounds of fall _ ing
into ~ some ~ thing ~ that
| mattered |
& nobody really
fills  me ^ up ^
like ¥ou
however /sideways/
it > all > went.
it meant it all
to me
heart-on-my-sleeve
[i supppse]
just a wish is all
it could
be;
#dammitdarling
i was. so. sure.
i fit >on >your >mouth
so
perfectly

we are
the po _ : ems andtherhymes
finish. my. thought. with. my. thought.
un\ex\pect\ed
out of time
so >caught >up
idon'thearthechimes any//more
wander&wonder;
¿what was it for¿
what. was. it.
for.

it. doesn't. [really ever] pay.
to - be - so - sentimental;
the ~curve ~of ~your
mouth
howyousayeachvowel
₩ell,...
i sup _ pose only i
might//know//
{it is what it is}
i can Want What i Want
& you can say
<What you Will>
>>close<< your eyes
rest _  your _ lips
^^ in ^my ^kiss^^
tomorrows =
@faded
juststaywithme
,...*now

wind chimes because
...  i love the sound
you learned our song and played it
... Christmas morning
notes on my windshield even though
... i'd see you at home
the beach cruiser you bought me
... that looks just like yours

i can still hear the waves
... at my front door
but i can't seem to visit
... the  shore anymore
my stomach can't take
... those long walks alone
we spent so many hours
... now;... i wonder;... what for¿

maybe it's to spite you
... because-you-want-it-so
maybe it's the memories
... of our life. here. before.

OR;,...may
                    be i just can't
... love ((it))
any _ _ _ more

don't get me wrong//it's nice to be wanted
and you are so. much. prettier. than. most.
but i'm onlyhalflistening, l ov e
my chest is chain》ed》 to 》a 》ghost

my mind knows-so-much-better
         {i'm so lucky to have you}
your hands know how to hold me
         {your lips know all the songs}
but i when i'm looking in your {brown}eyes;
it's only g.r.e.e.n.         that i see

and i-swear-if-i-knew-how-to-fight-it
i'd go ****** //i'd go black and blue
if o n l y.   I  could sh^a^ke^ her
{if i could un _ . think all the words}
i'd give all i have just to savor

i long to taste anything
....that i didn't com》pare to her lips
my God howhermouthhaunts
{i can't think ₩ithout her voice^in^my^head}
i'm helpless and unworthy-of-all-your-wants

you. are. so. lovely.
in so {allofthe} many ways
i have enjoyed our mo^ment^s
{i have hoped these feelings would
....leave me}
how i have kept you;... on. the. fence.

and now; it'sonlyfair to s/ev//er
despite how good; i-should-let-you-go
it's a  @selfish@ way of living
{letting you love me so}
When i'm Not ReaLLy Giving

in these moments you'll hate me
{onceyouknowallofthetruth}
think of me in spiteful ways
you'll want to _ keep _ trying
you'll be con\vinc\ed it can be °changed

beaUtiful one: YoU de _ serve MORe
theressomethingaboutthegirl i can't name
maybe I'm just addicted-to-wanting
Or may》be i'm not ready to be save---d

See○ing○you
with someone {new}
it's a punc_ ture wound;
it's a ra/zor/blade/tooth/
& i ₩anna be €ool
but there's. no.           room.
'cause this heart's #shreds
it's>all >consumed
¿What¿ is it about me
that isn't eno[ugh]
youheldMyHand
》》》i never asked》for》 it
It's as if you - LiVE - to -  ****. me. in.
late night whiskey/morning gin
i make¡ you¡ come¡
you~make~me~shake
meltIntoone
Oh,...;But,...Wa,........itTt­ttt/tttt,...
When #daylight _ shows
none. of. it. matters.
it's like; the dawn makes
your memory ****>>>ter
& I ******* know (how it) always ends
Yet; here. I.  am.
back\       .again.

SOoo,...it's popcorn for dinner...
...how the gin soaks up the hours...
scouring some words...
To/bring/an/end
The END
{no epilogue required}
...To the aching spaces in my marrow
The Binding/Cinching
across.my.chest
...the natural consequence;
every time I think your...
Name.
Because the whiskey won't do
O
R
the wine or the smoke
...it's just me
~And my dog~
...wondering...
what is to become of me.
And
I was f  i  n  e  before I found you,... how-we-wish
you'd come
...Fetch me.

so. much. easier. to
leavetheblameforyou
{what a selfish *******}
just because you/made/the/cut
{miserable ****}
it-was-my-shiv-in-your-hand
{afterall}
you loved me with all you had
i >gave >you >what >i >could
{what a schmuck}
itwasn'tenough
to _ pack _ up
and ~ follow ~ you ~ back
because. the. snow; in New York is
only romantic #centralpark &
whiskey can only keepmewarmonSundays
and, in, the, end, i, guess, i, loved,
the ocean
*more

it's a ''jag''ged }
_  irony
how m _ u _  ch
i feel the
}~gouge
punch》》
~~ peel.
[        ]
of a love
you never
felt
in
 the.   << least

I guess...you could be...right...
since when does irrational...pay off...?
And... you have your reasons;
there's a list as long as your arm.
I assume you've thought.this.through.
I'm left to accept...
making love to you... would probably have
been my death;
After all,...just the thought stops my chest.
I realize...your fear is valid;
I'm sure your...taste... would leave me...
starving.
Clearly, you know what you know you know what you
know,...you know...
There was no//where this could go.
I presume you're sure you're correct,...
your voice is my honey,.. but I'm sure
you've got words that could...sting.
You're so certain STOP is more suitable
...and ' irrational ' is too risky;
for sensitive little fishes.
I know you have been here...before...
Chasing the unknown;
But that was a different girl -
You should remember that I'm/not/her;or her;...
I'm thinking you'd like to be convinced this is
wise
~letting it go~
...even though I see the sun/rise in your
eyes...
And I could love you...clean.
You're probably right,...if you so insist...
I'm sure we're.better.off.
Not.
Knowing.

need to  | cease |
{to fit}
so _ per°fect°ly°
inyourneck
beg. to. forget.
your > fingGgeRs
in\my\hair\
so  #hungry
& ¥et so
~del~i~cate~
i-no-longer-want
to feel your sm _ ile
inmyskin
make. it. stop.
{this needing you}
it's-something-i-can't
feed &
it's | starving |
me
[    hollow.  ] bruised
&    sore  
don'tknow
what ^this ^ breath 》《 ing
is. for.
} stuck { between
your hazel
& the || door;
don'treallyknow
what-i-know
any __ *more

That c/a/re/ful/smile
you, you, you,...soeasytotouch
It was as if we'd - been - there - so many times,be _ fore
You leaned into me
....while I》 fell 》into; you.

I still ₩ake
from time.      time.
                  to.
with the [[[ vivid ]]] recollection
of the way you would r _ e _ a _ c _ h
to{tuck}mybangs
behind my ear

to StoP me from hidingmyeyes
How you SearCH//ed THem;
....when. I.  spoke.
you - didn't - want - to - trust
₩hat I had to sa¥
How later you THouGHt me^so^vain^
ifonlyyouhadreallytakenthetimemydear

Learn mywords/mystory/mytruth
,...i know you dont-really-know.
I've been s<u<<ck<<<ed in
and }~~ s 》p》i》t》》~ out
so. many. times. i've. lost. count.
therockinmychest is gr\av\el
....at....b _ e _ s _ t

such sweet kisses,...
what you saw-as-a-lack-of-depth
those times when° my° eyes°
couldn't always meet. with. yours.
itwasonlythat your ha _ zel made me
《《s u c k 《《 in my breath
your touch made me st>ut>>t>er

&the; tiny. bits. stored. in. my. chest.
raTTLed about in the last bit of hope;
....I had left....
and then you~》>>>> left
Not so dif/fer/ent from. the. rest.

it's not (much) like a Virgo
to put.it.all.out.there
but earth needs water....to thrive
/so I live by the ocean/
...and it took a fish to bring the words...
to life.
It's not just about...her
...a wellspring was... sprung
and language spills out.
Something about walking toward sunrise (her smile)
the fog horns (her laugh) and eucalyptus (her story) has ...
got me.
It's not as if I've gone crazy...
but, she is my favorite fish ~ these days ~
...she had something(s) to say
her words and thoughts dropped desperate rain;
...I had no choice but to soak.her.in.
It's not so hard to fathom
I was born with a love for words...,
although, it's true,... I haven't
always had so much to say.
But there is some..thing
about that Pisces
that has me spinning,typing,spinning...away...
Don't take it literarily
...unless,.. the words move you.
Earth has a constant/unconscious
chatter...
even though,{ironically}, most of it is under...
water....
You might think me mad,
but there is a... hunger... I'm feeding,
and,.. I didn't know it was there
...until, (not.a.moment.too.soon.)
I found her.
So,... I live for these hours,...alone
...the words...they have their own....pleading.
I didn't even know it was in me...
but this well seems to run...deeply...
Oh,... how the one's before her would have adored it...
theywerecertainlynotprivy
to words of longing/love/needing.
Those are all. just .for. her.
although I know it seems...heavy.
But this GIRL has me flooded..
this fish...//has me//...swimming
...and I'm reveling in the struggle;
...even if/it's/just/treading/water.

Crossed lines, lines crossed...tangled up in
the sublime...the beauty in so much to
say...trading words and thoughts and
wonderings...each a thread; now binding up
my silly heart...So tied in satin...twisted
bows of truth and longing
and...words...and words and words...I can
not begin to unravel the tightness in my
chest at the thought of your smile...Waking
wish for your eyes on me...and all of the
pretty words...oh my stupid little heart...left
...
hanging...

som _ e _thing
inyoursmile
the/taste/of/you
wrapped{my knuckles}around
now a stabbing
aCHe
tucked be>>tw>>een
each rib
[even so]
i . can . bare . it
yourjaggedblade
just to hear you
...wh' is' per''
my name
once
a _gain

there's-really-nothing
quite\like\
second chances
To fill. you. uP.
fellforthegirl in love
with-some-one-else
N <Ow>Doesn't that just say
it.      all
& this adoration
icarryinmypockets
has ~never ~done ~me
much good
but _ then _ again
allireallywanted
was; you

You, so carefully reckless
so lovely..
so delicious...your words/thoughts/vision...
...these Flavors of Entanglement
Form the most.savory.morsel
.... that makes this...
wanting you...
a...Jagged Little Pill

And you already know
.... I'd hand over my ribs to be your anything;
tiptoe-ing toward "Everything"...
How I've wanted to have you and to hold you..,,  Now is the Time
.... I'd give all I have and I.think.you.should.know.that...
"You Owe Me Nothing"...and yet, I choke down these empty bites/Space Cakes/
...just as you know and I k(no)w in the end, this is the end....
... of the story that only
began,....

I should spend my minutes... singing "Sorry to Myself" instead...of
Soaking up the hours, here,....
I "Flinch" 'at your name'...
And long so absently present
Because I know "UR"
. ...you're there...
I found you,...'in a universe of cosmic tears'

Darling, you must know.... It's a bitter thing to swallow
"That I Would Be Good"...'whether with or without you'
...But you won't have me...
..and "Till You"...
I didn't know what it was...
... to be "Incomplete"
left alone...
to Feast on the Scraps

And it's not and will/not/be...there is no "Permission" granted here....'spinning my wheels around'....
Stifled... down,...
"Not As We"
....and it won't be me...
And isn't it "Ironic" how "You Learn"
...the best...
from the silent things?

And it's wrenching and it's...
... honest; how such  "Precious Illusions" grind/my/bones.
One hand tossing you my...marrow
And "One Hand in My Pocket"

You, you, you...with your words and your... lips...
"So Pure" {How 'I love how you dance'}
Knocked/me/out/of/my/senses
And threw my "Head Over Feet"...
Although...."Uninvited"
...I "Thank U" for showing me
"All I Really Want"
..even knowing...knowing...
All our connects are Under Rug Swept
... I have no place in "Your House"
...You, you, you.... in your self imposed "Moratorium"

I,...a **** distance away...
Supposed Former Infatuation ******
Savor the sweet incessant taste of; loNGING ...it lingers,in my mouth...in my teeth
For you,/me, /we
To be
"SIMPLE Together"
"In Limbo No More"

I know/I know better,.. I have to let.it.be.
It may be some time
...It's going to take awhile longer
...I "Can't Not"
Hunger for you
{Held in the craving}...the
Havoc and Bright Lights....
blinded in focus ...of the So-called Chaos ..
....of my wanting you

Someday I'll be "Hands Clean"
...In the moments between,...my " Torch" is
still lit...
"I Remain"...  bound in a feeling,..an awe,...An. .....overwhelming
consumption-of-my-guts...
from "That Particular Time"...when we spoke of.... words...and The Collection
Of all the/things/that/matter...
ignoring all the space
b  e  t  w  e  e  n
...Rejecting the // time....

And I call it significant...
... "You Oughta Know".

thereisa
space _        between
knowing
&   owning
that. smacks. me.
Up | SiDe |
                    down
》just. when.
i¡ catch¡ my¡
breath;
[whilethereare
always #bodiesineed]
it's some crumb
        °infinite-soul-magic°
i tasted in your voice
&on; y{our} tongue
those are
en _ tire _ ly
dif>fer>>ent>>>
pains
&;so your mouth
d(i)ff(i)cult to
let {forget} _.      go

I would thank...you
There is such beauty in your...pain
And there is the...healer in.me.
but the ache let's me know I'm alive
I've loved you in my hea(rt)d
and my hea(d)rt longs to.know.you.more.
I was so rarely lonely...before,...I met you
...and it doesn't/wouldn't/couldn't/won't have
to make sense to anyone,...but me and {maybe} you
//how you seeped into my bones//linger in my mouth//your pirate smile smuggles my thoughts//
And,....tell me now, darling; how do I get
through...tonight...today
{knowing you are out there}
And we con-nect-ed....
SO...ManY...Dots...
andwordsmatter.
When it went  //     silen.t.    //
well...
it just knocked me to the floor...
...and i've been laying/lying/laid/lain there
ever...
...since...

i keep ne _ ed _ ing to
thank\you;though
you. taught. me.
what I need/want
sssadlyyyy
It. Is.  So. Very.
Ha{impossible}rd.
To. Find.
words 》and 》whiskey
makeitalright
&there;'s some<kind of>beauty
,...in that
though ~ i'd ~ prefer ~ you
in. my. sheets.

so,...your: BusinesS CarD
rests.  in.   my.   car.
i  | stared | at it, today,...
eyes     tr _ a _ cin _g   
the   l  e  t  t  e  r  s  
ofyourname.
the weight
(of it in my hand).
so >much >heavier>
,... now.
° ° ° time lost
in-these-moments;
€yes full of tears.
& with a heavy sigh,...
[i gently tucK it]
back /in /its / _  place.

believe me
i _ know _ how _ sure
{you'llsay}
i fell for whoever i
think. you. are.
face it; darling
you know
Soooo.  Ooooo many
>>give >> lessssss
for so¡ much¡ more¡
{certainly romance is dead}
&woman;~
you just. stopped. keeping. score.
so convinced//broken// is
what\hearts\
are\for\
i guess five-hundred
miles-away-was-safe
to ex》plore》
how the. time. spent.
onyourmouth;
it just ^meant ^more
& i know #youknow
& you wouldn't
let | it | show
did¿ you ever¿
ask yourself
¿₩hat
for¿

Oh* howIfucking hate <loving> you
{forgetyou}
& how too u try to placate  _ YoU;
wear your passion // darling
own.  your. wants.
you _ are _ so _ much _  prettier
   with.    them.         on.

fingernails
trace,... my》 bones
morn°ing° coffee°°
& wine soaked
good{nights}
all~ in~ all
she should. be. what. i. want.
- so-who-knows -
what ¿season
could ever be¿
enough¿
^there's ^^no^^
《taking 《it 《back
you;strawberry
}moon} }
days2short
& lo _ _ ng _ _  es _ _t
nights. e\clip\se the
bl ack
tattooofyou
<can't << e <<< rase
skinonskinonskin
[however vague]
my highs//
my lows

what can¿
be {un}done
when ^ i ^ can ^ trace
my loves
by the | books |
that. rest.
on _ my _ table
waves & seeds
Pablo & Angelo
russian classics
Ne₩ ¥ork
& pursuitsofhappiness
some [kind] of organized mess
@paper pages
fra. gile in their manner
hold/my/ghosts
<all those> lost whispers
have. moved. along.
[for me] words
al>ways> meant
so much =
#more

Morning walk...you know how I covet
sunrise...and eucalyptus...the damp and
the salt....[oh, how I am drawn to
fishes]...sherbet streaks through a
retreating
dark. A new day...
a new fate...
Mind drifts://colors fade from
sight;...and left with Me...
reaching across a
table; *******...gently
...slowly,... so de//li//cious the
moment...Guide the hair that has
fallen...across your face.. a vague
interruption. ..to our eyes locked in a
stare.  and there is no sound//all light//stillness//eyes
speaking volumes,...eyes have so much to say;in these
moments,..
,,.....In these seconds,... there is and has
only ever been the two of us...you and I in a timeless gaze,...and
...only so slightly aware of the scattering of atoms, stirred by...Me...
reaching across a
table; *******...gently
...slowly...so bound in the
moment...Guide the hair that has fallen....

dr _ unk a//gain
ihavenoshame
,...sip you in,...
my love
my friend
Draw. A. Line.
~use ~a ~pen
& here we are
》》back agaIN
i know [the score]
^how  ^you ^^seep.in
you miss me now
right-up-until
you're 《《back with her
ssssslide right in
& i'll stand| by |
#encouraging

i'm {pretty} certain
i'llbestaying
in | love | with you
Oh >> I wouldn't choose it
it just >set>tled >there
behind. each. rib.
under _ my _ tongue _
between-each-breath
the grind
& the gasps
e•ve•r•y ••••sigh
= empty resign
at. just. the. thought.
of your
× name ×

singing》out》 loud on road trips
the One I can be a. Lone. //wITH
place a flower° in ° your°  hair°
walk....for...hours...withoutacare

Smile _ touch _  laugh _  gush
wecanhardlygetenough
coffee. stains. on. magazines.
the wine we spill all/over/the/sheets

stars _ color _ light _ sand
how you alwaysholdmyhand
your lips the soft. est. thing. I've known
how,...where=you=are is always home

.. >you'd > drive > for > miles
just to spendafewhours
[[[[     blanket forts.  ]]]]
and *** in the #shower

the one who knows just-what-to-say
and so/me/tim/es knows to>go>away
the only one @with whom I cry
,...admit. mistakes. \don't need to {hide}

You have mY heart,...I gave You it
Howsaditis we haven't...
>> met

It makes no...sense
...I plead no pretense.
But if honesty is a...fault
...well, then, I own it in spades;
And I'm pleased to have.no.shame.
Because,...darling...
We aren't what.we.need.
...and don't you see the...beauty
In that?
It's all the ...wants {Iwantyou}
..all OF the wants...
Wrapped into one (youmewe)
...and I can't close my eyes...anymore
Without the delicious thoughts...
Of your~skin~on~me;
How I want to trace those freckles with my...
Tongue...
...And map each one.
Just the lightest touch...
To form your body's silhouette;
Drawing portraits of poets from your ribs to
Your feet.
...and there is no rush in this//
And these moments are ours
...and it means everything to kiss//
How I could kiss you for hours.
No, ...my dear...darling
...there is no.sense.in.this.
But if loving needs... logic...
...I want no/part/in/it.

how I'm ch
                    ock
                            ing. on. it.

her beauty leaves me

         b _  a _  r __  e

<<<<<<suffocated>>>>>>>>>

f ^ igh^  ting for some. will.  to....

          in~~~~~hale

What¿ do you think¿
my dear
do I need to let. this. go.
Please;tell me,...
once _ .   again,...
i'm a slow learner.

stuck to your ghost
{i keep running from}
can't go to you
& i can't. stay. put.
it's like a revolver
One. More. Click.
& i'm __ done

if /there /were /a /way
to. just. shut. you. off.
if; i 》could 》find
any{anyone}thing else
in _ stead _ of _ being _ your _ mark

be < cause > maybe a kiss
meansnothing
》until the 》moment
{you pull the trigger}
& itmeansitall
you're a bullet. to. my. brain.
you're {the shot through}
my; heart

135 po _ems should due
but ****-of-all-*****
i'm still ******. up. on. you.
¿What the ****
AM i ******* supposed
to do¿
Drank》 all》 the》 *******》 whiskey
the ******* vodkaginwinebeer
Too
yet; here i am on the floor
AgaiN
******* thinking. it. through.
******* need to move on;
#Need - to - **** - someone - new
*******\****\this
fuckingfuck
&
**** *******
trUth

in the rearview mir\r\o\r
- everything is clear (n)er -
it was always all. about. you
Just-A-Breath-Between-Disasters

i was.so.sure. i could keep you
(then//It was all that seemed to matter)
your leavingwassudden
...your damage was g. r. a. d\ u\  al...

trymybest to drink-you-away
the ghost of your smile
is a per>sis>tent>spector
(and I know/no/now)
How-Much-I-Do-Not-Want-You-Any-Longer

O<but>h~-

how-

you _have __

ling  er.   e          d

icantfindthequiet.
even when
it's just the t/a/p/p/ing
of the blinds
& the hummmm mmmm of the fan
there is no {peace}
#peaceful
as _ the _ air _ moves _ across
my body
E. very. cell.
wishesitwere
YoU

it's _ not _ the
worst\thing
this.
beinginlovewithyou
when i stop <to <re <collect
the empt [i] ness
i would otherwise know;
you know ~ i've tried
#others
no | one | fusses |
with ^my^ bangs^
presses>their>shoulder>into>me{lting}
wears those [mydeargod]
thigh - high - BooTs
<like you>
myhands @ yourhips
you trace ~my ~veins
i _ steal _ every kiss
& pray ' for ' time ' to '
stall. there.
just. a.
mo...   men. t.
     *more

how do i
inhale
without you
cuz breathing is easy
when there is no meaning
minutes are too long
& who cares
where i go
after
where we've
been

you. called. me. beautiful.
{I can't lie}
it was nice to hear
but >your >words >and >your >motions
don't own {the same} grace
you spil~led ~so ~many ~syl~la~ble~ssss
about being vulnerable
//owning//moments//
workedmyselfuptothechallenge
you-had-the-nerve-to-claim-   it
a_ w _ k _ w_ a _ r _ d
no| consequence| to| me| in the end
youhavetowakeupwithyourself
{my dear}
i have only sadness for you
----and-the-parts-of-you-you're---
FooLinG