I sit an wonder why,
These late mornings I just want to cry,
If I could just swallow my pride, stop all the lies maybe I'd stop feeling like I'm dying inside.
Every mistake I make, could be the last breath I take, I put on a smile but it's all ******* fake
I see you looking at me, judging me, through
All the lies all the hurt all the pain I caused to you
But it's my life it's my hell it's nothing you can do. what I want, I do, what I do, the drugs got a hold of me not of you
I wanted to stop I wanted to go away I wish that one day I'll never feel this pain just please make it go away
Rolling in the truck through the mountains and hills not worried about paying my ******* bills I got to find the next drug I need to find the next pills before I find my life is over because it kills
What do you say to that, what do you think I should do. how should I react should I pretend to be you,
But I'm not you I am me,  fighting these demons, wanting to be free. I got no life, I got no hopes all I know is I keep banging this dope.
I see it now I see it clear nothing to show but the end game is near, no more hoops no more dreams no more looking in the mirror no more you seeing me because I'm gone because I'm dead because I let the dope go raking In my head
Feeling so weak feeling so tired feeling like a hopeless useless  selfish ******* no one admires
I'm done I'm out nothing more to say this life if I wouldn't have changed would have definitely gone this way

"An addicts thoughts"
                                     Part 1

Living our life in confusion
Struggling for hope an resolution
Not knowin from one day to the next
If life will end or just get more wrecked
Hold on pain ends
But how long will it take please tell us wen
Pushin forward tho we want to walk off the earth
It's so hard to see If we have even a little Worth
a day will come and times will get better
Or should we consider this a suicide letter
We don't wanna die a cowardly death
We will work harder and try our best
Addiction will drive u mad and cause shame
But our lives are worth so much more than this pain

Your disappoinment in me hurts my heart
It cuts like a dull knife
You blame me for my addiction and faults
And show no care for my messed up life
In the people we trust I came to be
Addicted to something he prescribed me
I didn't ask for this, I didn't beg and plead
I just wish you could understand
I never once wanted this need
So family, before you judge me wrong
And disown me for my lifestyle
Open your mind and open your hearts
Put my shoes on and walk a mile
I want to end this addiction
I want to end causing pain
I want to be trusted and loved
I just wanna be me again
                 ~squirrel master~

Find myself inside myself
Feeling like I will never win,
Struggle for life to fade away
For my death to come on in.
The hopeless struggles are presant,
Every day I fade into the dust
Looking frantically all around me
I finally had enough.
I'm not gonna roll over
I won't let myself die,
I won't become a statistic
I know it's ok to cry.
I am somebody worth while
I am not your crumpled trash,
I will make my life whole again
Then y'all hatters can kiss my ***!