Topher O'Neal

Topher O'Neal May 2015

Choice

Never chosen, but always a choice,
Scream out, but no one hears my voice,
Time and again, pushing every one away,
When all I do, is try to make them stay,
Do they not understand? Or simply ignore?
Do I scare them away? Like always before?
Is it a curse? Am I stuck here forever?
Building up ties, just so they can sever,
Do I ask too much? Then why never enough?
Should I stay away? Try to be tough?
Whoever I love, I know I won't be mine,
Forsaken to never have, and only pine?

Topher O'Neal May 2015

On that note...

I cry in the bathroom, at work, when I go,
Only to cry, or maybe do blow,
Never using the bathroom, for what it is meant for,
Just usually crying, staring at the door,

Everything gets to me, I cant keep it in,
So I shut the door, lock it, and begin,
Gotta sit down, too weak to stand,
No tears on your shirt, head in your hands,

Hide it well, they can't tell,
Inside you can only scream and yell.

Topher O'Neal May 2015

Muerto

When we die, it shouldn't be sad,
Lived our lives, times we had,
Only depressing, if you never live it,
Take what you want, the world won't give it,

Topher O'Neal May 2015

If I...

If I said goodbye, I wonder if they would cry,
Content to see me gone, or on the inside die?
Pushing me out, adrift alone,
Leaving me, to always atone,
For the sins of my family.

Topher O'Neal May 2015

Away

When it comes to goodbye,
I always want to cry,
Inside I die,
Why?

Maybe just one more smoke?
Or at least a good ****?
Even if I choke?
Poke.

At our beach, or just behind the store,
Talking of murders, and gore,
Begging like before,
More.

Please don't go, not yet anyway,
Can I convince you to stay?
Or must you away?
okay...

Topher O'Neal May 2015

Untitled

I feel it deep within,
He shares my skin,
We share the sins,
We are twins,

Though, he may be me,
And I may be he,
Neither of us are truly free,
It will always be we,

He is tearing away,
And might just stay,
For more than a day,
I truly can't say,

Ruin me, no hesitation,
As if it gives him elation,
Leaving only devastation,
Yet, he is my creation,

I had no *****,
Couldn't make calls,
Or even handle the falls,
But he never stalls,

Is he the better me?
He does it more efficiently,
Maybe we shall see,
What will be will be,

I am at a loss,
At this point its a toss,
I don't know who is boss,
Nor to bear what cross.

Topher O'Neal May 2015

Sanity

First of three, to arise with query,
Make me wander, weak and weary,
I must find it again my long lost mind,
'Cause, I am starting to fall way behind,
Gone in an instant, returning just as fast,
But I still question, how long it will last,
Are you here for good, or gone in an hour?
Running frantically without your power,
No direction, confused and forsaken,
When at last will it all be taken?