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Topher O'Neal Feb 2015
Bleed, make it hurt,
Deep, make it spurt,
Make me love, make me stay,
Make me hate, make me stray,
Make me whatever you want

Tell me what it is, I know, nothing,
But I really know, something,
I see it, and so does everyone,
Either that or we are all far gone,
Make me know what you want

Is there something more, or am I blind?
Because it is starting to seem every time,
I leave, I pick up on the signs, left behind,
I leave my thoughts in these rhyme,
*Make it all clear
Topher O'Neal Feb 2015
In
In love, but can't act on feeling,
In hate, and can't stop reeling,
In too deep, feel like I'm dying,
In my own head, I'm really trying,

Out of time, waiting for the end,
Out of lies, for my best friend,
Out of words, now I will only offend,
Out of my head, My thoughts can't defend.
Topher O'Neal Feb 2015
Stare into my eyes, a second longer,
My feelings growing, ever stronger,
Temptation takes it's toll, I look away,
I may try to forget, but on that my mind will stay,
Thoughts, leading to delusion,
Fanning the flame, feeding the illusion.

I look back, but your eyes are redirected,
I wish the last moment, resurrected,
To give in, but it is gone, lost forever,
Will I know how it would've played out, never,
Wasted too many moments, all of which I regret,
But each one I will never be able to forget.

I don't know if I should, I hold my ground,
But in family and friends, I have found,
A consensus, I am doing what I shouldn't,
If they were in my shoes, I know they wouldn't,
I am starting to disagree with myself now,
I am starting to not know, what or how.

So tell me give in, or stay strong?
If I don't, will you be around long?
If I do, you will hate me right?
Will me and you get into a fight?
Should I run? Do you want me here?
Do you hate me? Or is it as I fear?
Topher O'Neal Feb 2015
A paralyzing thought, one brought on by peers,
A move I have played over and over in my own head,
Should I do it? I know I want to, but I am stunned by my fears,
I know if I do, the possible outcomes, I'd rather be dead,
My mother even chimed in, and agrees with the rest,
I'm not even safe in my own head, these thoughts always ******.
Topher O'Neal Feb 2015
Ugh
My words are a double edged sword,
Sometimes make you smile, sometimes sad,
I write checks, my *** can't afford,
And push away those, I wish I never had.

I'm sorry for what I said, my friend,
I don't want to be a burden to you,
Hurting your feelings I would never intend,
I know your worried, I am too.
Topher O'Neal Feb 2015
I am done, I can take no more,
Too close, closer than before,
Are you telling me everything?
Or are you hiding something?

Are the signals real?
Is that how you feel?
Is my mind just a ****?
Is it playing another trick?

I can't ask, the answer to dangerous,
I can't ask, the question outrageous,
But it burns my mind, the not knowing,
I can't be right, but the signs are all showing,

Tell me I am wrong, stop this train,
These thoughts don't belong, all in vain,
**** the beast, before it goes on a rampage,
Just end it now, so you can turn the page.
Topher O'Neal Feb 2015
I'm
I am a **** up, I only make things worse,
I can't buck up, losing things will always be my curse,
Hopefully, I can lose it all, so I don't have a reason to stay,
I can finally, not feel guilty for taking my own life away,
I want all of my bridges burned, peril beyond repair,
Pain beyond compare, being bludgeoned by despair,
Not a second, a ******* second, I don't plot my death,
Bleach, blade, poison, overdose, all leading to my last breath,
A serenity in nothingness, a peaceful oblivion, a blessing to all,
When I am gone, many may be sad, but it will be good when I fall,
I can do no more harm, as much as people say I don't,
But cause any pain, or start some ****? I won't.
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