I am in love, but I can't talk about it,
It's kind of funny, but I am happy,
Just to be around, and see her a bit,
It makes me feel weird and sorta sappy,
I shouldn't be writing this down,
I know it is stupid, but I had to,
If I don't, in my thoughts I drown,
So to the world I say, I love you.

Please don't read this one,
I needed to tell everybody,
But you should've already known,
Attempts to hide around you,always shoddy,
So if you do read this, I am sorry,
But I had to speak up, or my mind implode,
Now as I look at the sky, dark and starry,
I hope you hate me, and to me explode.

Fracturing my mind, shatter like painted glass,
Smash the memories, Light a match and soak in gas,
I can't handle my own thoughts, too many at once,
All contradictions of the others, no coincidence,
I need to break it all away, all of it in pieces,
So all of my emotions, my mind releases.

I beat my mind, like a racehorse jockey,
Beat it on down, like a goon in hockey,
Stab it a few times, with crossed information,
Did that mean? Nope just hope from infatuation.

My home, I listen, I vanish from the world,
Off the grid, my thoughts can't even find me here,
An illusory place of peace, all my stress comes unfurled,
It speaks to me, a conversation only I can hear.

Songs make a slideshow of memory fill my consciousness,
I remember every feeling, every loss, every low,
All of the times, all of the highs, all of the happiness,
Depending on the track, it changes my whole flow.

My music, it works the gears of my brain,
It makes me think, makes me create instead of destroy,
Make beautiful art, maybe only to some, but hopefully no pain,
It made all of my dreams, ever since I was just a little boy.

Breathe in the air, come back to life,
The short death of sleep, dreams the real heaven,
Or hell if a nightmare is giving you strife,
I find both of mine of late offer no haven.

If a dream, it just reminds me of what I want,
Things I can't have, doing things I could never do,
Nightmares to me are just life with a slant,
Scenarios, of failure that just seem destined to come true.

My escapes are all gone, and now I can't run,
I have to face my thoughts, like David to the giant,
So difficult, I find comfort in the thought of the gun,
Take it all away, never thinking, emotions running rampant.

But I wish not cause pain, and that takes a lot,
I am the pincushion of life, and take it with grace,
I will either survive, or break, a troublesome thought,
Bridges I will cross, and challenges I will have to face.

Welcome to the day, now go to work,
Wash it down with memories and friends,
Tell all the ways my mind can fork,
Go to sleep, then wake up, it never ends.