I want you here in my arms tonight
Whisper sweet nothing's like we're running out of breath
Make promises we can't keep
We can embrace until we turn blue
And dance by the firelight

Tonight tonight
We can change our minds
Anytime tonight

It's snowing outside tonight
Let me take your coat and hang it next to your clothes
Pour us a glass of wine
We can drink to our heartache
And dance our lives away between the sheets

Tonight tonight
We can change our minds
Anytime tonight

All these little memories
Keep on creeping in on me
All these little memories
Keep on crashing over me

It's 3am and I'm waiting by the telephone
I can hear your voice on the other end
Saying goodbye before you even call
I know this means nothing
But to me you're my all

Tonight tonight
We can change our minds
Anytime tonight

Anytime tonight
We can change our minds
Tonight tonight

I'll wear your coffin with pride 
Tattoo my lips with your touch 
Burn for the jealousy in your eyes
I'll handle you with this knife
To cut these wrists 
I shed my skin peeled away from the bone
Days like this I pull my nerves apart 
Grasping for your heart
To feel the beating of misanthropy
We lick the wounds from sapphire cuts

I know what you say
To me
It's like ashes from the sky
I know what you say
To me
It's like teething on denial

I've turned away from the light
You lit the room to bury this tomb
It's fulfilling to crash
We taste the burn on our ribs
Cutting our teeth on the nape of our necks
I can hear your breath on my ear
Suture these lies with rabid tongue
I feel you turn away
This hunger for you growls
Growing sick for your flesh

I know what you say
To me
It's like ashes from the sky
I know what you say 
To me
It's like teething on denial

I smile thru your taste
I hold your hand with my teeth
Bitterness, ravenous, aching
Carving into the full moon and
Late night dances at the graveyard
I crave to be near
The edge of your space
To push you away

I know what you say
To me
It's like ashes from the sky
I know what you say
To me
It's like teething on denial

I've felt a change
In me
Its like ashes from the sky
I've felt a change
In you
Its like teething on denial

Let me entwine my lips with yours
             and my fingers become your hair

Let me tremble my kiss with yours
             and my teeth become your neck

Let me weld my skin with yours
             and my hands become your *******

Let me burn my *** with yours
             and my lust become your craving

Let me spill my passion with yours
             and my love become your *ecstasy

All her waking life she thinks in shades of inadequacy
It’s a shame that she can’t see all the beautiful things I see in her
The beauty of life that lives and breathes inside her
(Like) she’s got martini eyes framed with supernovas
Galaxies of city & colours radiating like an illuminating beacon
A Maine lighthouse on the edge of a cliff overlooking the coast,
The guiding eye of beaming light brilliantly shining
Along the rocky shoreline of her mind
It’s a complex thing inside libraries and randomness sometimes

But don’t look away for too long or you may miss
How she times her life on the withering ashes of cigarettes
And how many Dispute The Horizon With Me songs
It takes to pull into the parking lot at her work
Says it takes one cigarette to get to the freeway
Two if she’s feeling adventurous
And track number eight when Jordan Sykes shouts:

‘Love is the blood splatter of our liberty,
Seeping out of Cadaver grins and Chelsea smiles
Unshakable in our solemn vows of serpentine addiction,
The feelings we inked with heartached hands are mutual,
Darling’

She’s the kind of girl with a nervous lip-biting laugh
Laughing when I tell her it’s better than eight cigarettes and one song
She liquates tornadoes of wished away secrets
When she whispers moods of hushed sultriness in my ear
Sending shivers up and down my spine and making me feel alive
It’s all I can do to sit here and resist her sometimes
Says she doesn’t want to be treated like an animal
Even tho she loves every animal alive today
And shares a remembered heartache for those that died

(So I abide and put in my time
Causing getting to see a girl this celestial
is like seeing stars streaking across a newly born sky)

She dreams of slinging seashell butterflies and necklaces made from sunshine
Living her life down on the beach with the ocean always to her front side
Says she wants sunshines and sea salt, deep endless oceans rolling
Wants the ability to just leave it all behind if she feels the urge
Her spirit will explode with fragments of violets and high magenta
Lighting up late night beach bonfires and deep endless ocean waves

Says these are only dreams tho and as much as she’d like
She just can’t seem to get over some past her’s karmatic escapes
But she’s going to keep on dreaming cause dreaming can help
Says today she’ll dream in moonshines
And maybe tomorrow she’ll have her sunshine

(I tell her if she had my eyes she could do anything she wanted to do
And that her sunshine supernova is already radiantly shining within her)

Pluck the leaves off autumn trees
Float them down the river
Watch the currents carry their dance
Fall a few steps out of time
Feel the cool air shiver
You'll never have another chance

Oh if you live this life
At a constant speed
You'll miss all the sights
You were intended to see

Run your toes thru the morning dew
Whistle a tune with the morning birds
Chase the taste of sunshine on your skin
Get lost in yourself and become you again

Oh if you live this life
At a constant speed
You'll miss all the sights
You were intended to see

Fill your lungs with bonfire breeze
Realize you have all you need
A few cold brews
And friends to keep you company

Oh if you live this life
At a constant speed
You'll miss all the sights
You were intended to see

Sing along with the wolves
Howling at the moon
It will all be gone all too soon
Stare into the night
You're never far from a star
As long as you are
Who you are

Time is a construct of our mind
But too fast it passes us by
It seems we're only born to die
Laying memories on graves
We weren't ready to say goodbye

So don't live this life
At a constant speed
You'll miss all the sights
You were made to see

Oh if you live this life
At a constant speed
You'll miss all the sights
You were intended to see

It was raining hard outside and a cold wind was blowing briskly from the north. I ducked under the outside awning of a local bar named Easy Pete's but still felt the torrent of raindrops crashing into me.

I opened the heavy bar room door and walked inside to a dimly lit room accented with the sound of pool tables being played, gambler chatter, and thick cigar smoke. My eyes winced at the sting of smoke and adjusted to the lack of light. I looked around but did not note much outside of the elderly somewhat disgruntled faces either looking at me, their drink, or their games.

The jukebox played an old song that I could not place but had the vague notion that it existed somewhere in a childhood that I had moved myself away from too many times to count. I hummed along, finding the melody along the way and worked my way up to the bar and ordered three glasses of single malt scotch from a questionable bartender that had one lazy brown eye and the other, icy blue in its color, stared at me.

I ignored him and drank the first glass of scotch as he put it down. He gruffed his throat, sat down the other two glasses, and walked away.

I continued to drink the scotch when a long legged ****** sidled up to me and asked if I was looking for a good time. I found myself remembering the good times. Back when there were good times to remember.

The jukebox changed its tune and I became even more out of touch. I passed the third glass to her and she sat closer, wrapping her fingers around the glass and sensually stroking away the condensation that had built up.

I finished the rest of my glass of scotch, looked the ****** up and down. She was beautiful. And slutty. The way that I liked them. But I was tired. And not looking for a good time. I was content with my miserable existence tonight.

She made for small talk and I made for the door.

My ribcage shatters apart to expose 
Splintering fragments of brittle bone
I scrape them up into a pile 
Offer them to you with a smile
Carving into this sordid heart of mine
With ink spilled from the grip of your fingertips
It spells the words I've never heard
Uttered from the sinister curls of your lips
And the lusting lick of your desire across my death bed of wilted roses
I feel your hunger devouring what's left of mine to give
Your kisses I repress with my tongue
But I'll give in until you're done 
I'll beg for more down on knees with prayers 
when our course has had its run into the immolation of the sun
We'll end our affairs and leave it unrepaired 
dwelling in the darkness that we've built upstairs
I fall into your black tracing scars upon your attack
I feel the bones break in your back
When we collapse our arms around ourselves
Holding tight into a mendacious night
seething with tumultuous roars 
Our bellies hungrily ache for each others' taste
We satiate ourselves until the early whisper of dawn 
Leaving our scars in scraps of flesh and song
The bite of your bitterness sings along

So tattered I leave beside you
So shattered I break inside you 
So torn to be reborn without you

We mourn the morning of our scorn
Pressing it into the palms of our hands
Pushing deeper this belly ache of rotten thoughts and perceptions
Those secret discretions buried clear in our deceptions and flatlined intentions
We have lived this life we give with smoldered chances rendered
Not a moment to spare for the tired or mentored
Guided by the guilty jilted mistakes of our indiscretions
Our hands are bathed in the blood of our love 
It takes every ounce of me not to give in to reminiscing of missing what we're dismissing
We're lost searching with no profound calling to take hold of our hands and lead us into the light
just speechless apparitions given into desperations of heartache and failure 
seeking a savior to release this pressure building inside the beating of our entwined hearts

Is this really the life we must force ourselves to live everyday 
this blue collared white collared no collar state of affairs 
where we strangle ourselves daily with the grind of odd jobs poor paychecks an broken homes 
scattered like insects catching fire under the magnified heat of the sun 
our fingers ******* and our minds fall in line to what they tell us 
like obedient children we don't raise our hands to ask why 
no we just bite our tongues and call this a living 
Waiting for our death to come and liberate ourselves from this drudgery 
this mundane system of complications we've entangled ourselves into 
feeling like vines growing on the side of a nuclear bomb waitin to drop off the edge of this planet 
cascading into the imagination of nothingness we know we feel deep inside 
but we've buried it in a rush and sometimes you can hear it grumbling 
crying out to be set free 
this imagination has got us into trouble before 
thinking we can change the system we've built with our own hands and words we've cut from rapists murders and molesters 
Kings queens and holy saints 
we see what we are but do little in time to repair the perceptions we've become 
only tightening our nooses everyday like corporate wear neckties begging for a little more breath 
and a little more time so we can amass the collection the tv tells us we need 
so we wash out our morals And give in to the notion of supply and demand 
but never actually demanding the change so many of us crave and need 
we pull splinters from our teeth and sell them as souvenirs 
hoping someone else will choke on them and loosen these ropes 
binding ourselves to the hanging effect of effigies burning brilliantly in midnight shades of *** bottomed out with whiskey hangovers 
so far it's got to be the only way out of this but the exit we always miss 
when we're traveling two hundred ten miles forward without the gift of sight or intellect 
on baking asphalt looking for a wall to end it all 
looking for someone to call to end it all...

But I've packed my bags and I'm hitchhiking the rest of the way 
keeping my thumb inside my jacket because it's better to walk alone 
than get picked up by a car heading for the fall

I only come back to Hello Poetry to write
when I miss getting emails of people reading the crap I wrote.

It's been awhile.

Read this.

Like this.

Comment on this.

I might comment back

I might not.

It's nothing personal.

I want notifications.

{I suppose this is Hello Poetry equivalent to Facebook liking or twitter hashtagging... ########

But let's face it

Hello Poetry is much better. }








This has not been a
Poem instead it was just
Some stupid rambling.

I apologize
For wasting some of your time
With this rambling mess.

If it is any
Consolation I am just
As bored as you are.

If you are reading
This rambling mess still instead
of moving along

Ignorant eyes ---

                       The ties that bind
                       The vast majority
                       Of world population

Ignorant eyes ---

                       Ignore the damage done
                       And say that everything is fine
                       Aligned with a closed mind

Ignorant eyes ---

                       Like the blind leading the blind
                       Turn deceit into truth with advertisements
                       Under the advisement of the Biased

Ignorant eyes ---

                       Would rather chastise
                       Those that would rise
                       Than revise their thought processes

Ignorant eyes ---

                       Comprise of baptized lies
                       A reprise in disguise
                       The advisers to our demise

Ignorant eyes ---

                       Are unwilling and unwise
                       Say your goodbyes and arise
                       With *Open Eyes

Dear you 
To whom this concerns

Well it's been awhile
I know I said I'd write and I didn't 
Please forgive me
I just lost track of time
And lost track of myself somewhere along the way 

I'm not even sure where I went
Or if I was there to stay
I'd like to tell you that I'm back
And better than ever before

But in truth I have no way of knowing
If these words are real
Or if the ink I'm spilling
On this scrap paper
Will even reach you where you lay

But I'm going to keep writing
Scribbling these letters 

Into words

Into sentences

Into paragraphs

Hoping against hope
That you have the ears and eyes
To decipher and translate this nonsense

I remember you saying
How much you loved my cursive
So I focus intently on each curl 
and each scripted swirl 

Painstakingly painting these words
From the dripping ink off of my pen 
so you can understand
That I don't just write these memories
Without honorable intentions 

I know we haven't always seen eye to eye
Or even agreed on the simple facts of life
But I know you were there for me
When I turned my back on all that came before me

I couldn't help myself
It felt like I was someone else
Living a different life while I sat back
Watched it afar from someplace else

But I could see you
Always beside me 
Forever standing ground 
Especially against those that stood to tear us down

And I never said thank you
Or acknowledged when you were around

Please forgive me
You have to know I didn't mean it
I didn't know any better 

But I'm gonna try to set things right
That's why I'm writing you this letter tonight

So please forgive me

I know they're only words
Scribbled in cursive on a scrap piece of paper
But they're all I really have to give 

So I hope it's enough to ease the pain
And if we ever meet again 
I hope I can tell you how sorry I am in person 

Instead of thru six feet of dirt and a closed casket
As I lay this apology and flowers on your grave.

Hey* hey *hey hey

Who do you love?
A slave to the ****?

Sell or be sold
Do as you're told

Young and slender
Stolen from the cradle
Just what they pay to crave
A slave to an early grave

Sell or be sold
Do as you're told

Drugged up resistance
Throwing fists
Futility in existence  

Hey hey hey hey

Who do you love?
A slave to the ****?

The price of new flesh climbs
As every ****** dies
Chained to the whims
Of bureaucratic sadism

Sell or be sold
Do as you're told

Hey hey hey hey

Who do you love?
A slave to the ****?

Put out
Your use is worn out

Let's taste the ocean water together 
just you and I
we will dive into the deep blue sea 
holding hands til our heads are just floating on top 
riding with the waves 
and let's dive in even further after that 
until we're kissing the ocean bottom 
gulping in copious amounts of sea salt and shrimp brine 
lets just dive in 
dive in 
dive in 
and sink with the mollusks and octopi 
give up on living this sham we call a life 
cloistered in our clam shells we don't have a room with a view 
always protecting our pearls from those that are out to poach us for our inner treasures 
remember all the gold memories we've collected in our troves 
like we were hoarding them away for some rainy day 
well it doesnt get any rainier than drowning in these murky depths 
we're like treasure chests sinking to the bottom fast 
lost from some forgotten shipwreck 
we're collecting on the ocean floor waiting to be discovered 
over centuries we'll rust and be covered in barnacles before we're found 
Crumbling in the hands of those that try to rescue us 
lets just give up 
give up 
give up 
but we can't give up 
Not yet anyway
Not while we're treading these waves
with sharks lapping hungrily at our feet 
With rows of ravenous razor sharp teeth
savoring the slow taste of our defeat
as we inch closer 
And closer
With our heads fighting to stay above water
til we can no longer tread with these useless arms and legs
we take that last gasp of treasured breath into our lungs 
and feel the water pressure collapse around our tired bodies
feeling the ache of our worn out limbs 
we sink and we sink 
We sink
We sink to the bottom of where we started 
filling our deflated hearts with all the failed dreams and squandered hopes of all the shipwrecked treasures that came before us 
And all those that join us sooner or later on these murky endless bottoms
We've been here before
And we're all destined to be here again
And again
And again 
So let's just keep treading these waves for as long as we can
Maybe we'll luck out and find an island in all this oceanic bliss
We'll crawl on shore 
Grasping for dry sand and a warm place to hole up in
Before we find ourselves back out
Lost in the sea
Treading water
With sharks licking hungrily at our feet 
With rows of ravenous razor sharp teeth
Savoring the slow taste of our defeat

She's got a pair of cowboy boots
To accentuate that short sun dress
Got a shotgun in her pick up truck
And fishing poles in the back
Her skins kissed by the sun from hours out in it

Shes a northern belle
With a laugh like a rebel yell
She works hard and plays harder still
Twirls her long blonde hair around her finger playing cute
Wears a smile on her face
you know she's up to no good

Where's all my country girls
Kicking it with their fishing poles
Where's all my country girls
Knocking a beer back while its still cold
Where's all my country girls
Four wheelin it thru the mud
Where's all my country girls
Out lookin for some fun

She knows every tune
To ever country song
Knows how to skin a buck
And gut the fish she catches
Whistles Dixie
When that dinner bell rings
She's got camo lingerie
For those late nights out camping

Shes a northern belle
With a laugh like a rebel yell
She works hard and plays harder still
Twirls her long blonde hair around her finger playing cute
Wears a smile on her face
you know she's up to no good

Where's all my country girls
Kicking it with their fishing poles
Where's all my country girls
Knocking a beer back while its still cold
Where's all my country girls
Four wheelin it thru the mud
Where's all my country girls
Out lookin for some fun

I stood out in the middle of the flowing creek on a rock slicked with moss. My Timberlands soaked from walking in the water to the rock. My boots claimed to be waterproof and were waterproof in that once water works its way in, it does not come back out unless the boot is removed and shaken violently to poor the water out. But the boots could be dried out later in the sun so this did not worry nor bother me.

I studied the landscape and watched the clear brownish water weave its way thru the obstacles in its way as if there were nothing that could impede it. I listened to the wind blowing and felt the breeze cool my legs until they were dry and no longer wet. I watched the crawfish, some the size of a dime, others bigger than a dollar bill, swim their way against and with the stream from one rock to another. I saw frogs leaping on the shore, frightened by movement in the bush and the random noises that nature and man can make.

I steadied my balance, gripping the rock thru the moss the best I could with the worn soles of my boots and with my left hand I grabbed the fishing line on my rod and pulled out a good two feet and with my right I flung my rod backwards and snapped forward with my wrist casting out the line until it was a good thirty to forty feet in front of me before I snapped the reel closed and began reeling the line in. I started off slow and picked up the pace, feeling the lure do its little dance beneath the water and I continued altering speeds and slightly lifting the rod to mimic the bait to make it look and act alive so that some fish might go after it, get tempted, bite it good and clean, and get hooked.

It's been days since I've had a meal and I could feel the hunger pangs rumbling in my stomach and my mouth salivate as I thought about my attempted catch and how good it would taste and how good it would smell being cooked over the fire that was still burning nicely a little ways from shore at the small camp I had set up for the night.

My line was about fifteen feet in when I felt a tug on it and I stopped reeling and fingered the line just slightly waiting to feel the pressure of a bite. As I watched and imagined seeing thru the water I could see the fish circling the lure and I did my best to continue making the bait seem alive and to keep the interest of the fish. There was a right tug on the line and I snapped the rod back, feeling the hook catch in the mouth of the fish who immediately began to fight being caught and took my line out another ten feet before I locked the reel and began the struggle of pulling him in.

My rod bending in a strong arch, I continued to pull in the line slowly giving the fish time to wear himself out. I had now regained the ten feet that the fish took but there was still plenty of fight in him. I could tell he was a good fish and weighed near thirty pounds by the struggle in him.

Suddenly he broke the surface of the water and I saw him clearly. He was a carp with the dull light green scales etched neatly along his body. He was about three feet in length and had a body thick like a small tree. He would make an excellent meal if I could finish bringing him in.

We fought back and forth for a good forty five minutes with my pulling in and him finding every crevice in the creek to entangle himself and pull out more line despite the reel being locked. At one point I nearly lost him as he pulled me off the rock and into the water. I hit my back on the rock and out of shock let go of the rod and watched it begin to drift down stream as the fish pulled away with it still caught but I quickly gathered myself and lunged forward, grabbing the handle between my thumb, index and ******* long enough to pull it back and get a better hold. I cursed and spit and reeled in harder watching the line go taught and the rod bend in an almost perfect arch. I started walking towards the carp while reeling in, closing the space between us.

He was now five feet in front of me and the fight was leaving his body because the line lessened and the arch lessened and I could see him clearly in the murky water laying almost calm, giving in to his fate.

Three feet.

Two feet

Almost there.

Suddenly he leaped again out of the water and twisted and thrusted himself about strong enough so that the hook ripped clear thru his mouth and out. He splashed back in the water and was gone before my hook landed back in the water.

He had got away and I would not be having him for dinner tonight.

To claw and grasp at the nearest death
Am I so wrong to cling to my last breath
I've shed this skin a million times before
Soured by the repetition
Of skinning myself to fit in

Two hands joining
The others holding back

To swim in your ocean
Lost in the sea I'll thank you as waves
Take me under, crash over me
And I'll drown the sincerest goodbye
With an abysmal lullaby

For a chance you've said I'd be missed
I'll repeat the scars I've branded with honor
But wear them with diluted meanings
My intentions once seemed pure
Now they're promises I can't endure

Two hands joining
The others holding back

To swim in your ocean
Lost in the sea I'll thank you as waves
Take me under, crash over me
And I'll drown the sincerest goodbye
With an abysmal lullaby

How long the road has waited
To crumble beneath my feet
Wandering to the edge
For a last look at the sun setting
And then I felt the path give way

Two hands joining
The others holding back

To swim in your ocean
Lost in the sea I'll thank you as waves
Take me under, crash over me
And I'll drown the sincerest goodbye
With an abysmal lullaby

Two hands joined
The others held back

in a sea of adolescent geeks and nerds grown to be adolescent college corruption
holding pistol shaped hands high above their nodding heads to form an endless ocean of "W"s
lip-synching every word to the sweater song in perfect drunken harmony
                           i'm stranded here where i don't belong
trapped in a  human cage of drunken fraternities and prudish sororities
pass the expiration date of such antiquated requiems
i stand shoulder to shoulder feeling nothing but the crushing desire to sleep
the crushing desire to escape out into the wild*

                                 Where are we going?
                                 We're going nowhere.