I don't talk black
However I talk back
To the uneccesary judges
That have appointed themselves such
In life

I’m processing
Configuring
The time
And Calculating
The distance
That separates us
Oh the seconds
Until i see you
Once more
To God Above
I pray
You don't forget me

You were
Consistent
With your
Inconsistency
And now all I yearn for
Is to emotionally
Be free.

Why is it the ones who are,
In the right that have too
Apologize masses
And kiss *****?

Me pregunto,
Soy libre
pertenezco  
en un país que no me da la bienvenida?

I wonder,
Am I free
Do I belong
in a country that does not welcome me?

No matter the age
Or how grown up I may be
There still hides a crying child in me

With each tear in my heart
Another poem is written
A **** less is given
And one less life to live in
I guess I should be grateful
But I'm to upset
Over the aftermath

My pictures
My words are the visual
The tree trunk
But lack of confidence
My stuttering and shyness
The roots
But still, everyone picks
at my leaves

I'm lost
No longer wanting
To be found.
Just waiting and wanting
To be lost
Some more.

I hate
Being in my head
Left to my own thoughts
It's feels like my head
Is then a prison cell,
No visitation rights....

I never thought
The day would come
Where you would no longer
Need to hold my hand
But in reality
For me to let go
Of my hurt and past
I had to leave your hand hind as well
Forgive me......
I'm sorry

I long
For a Home
That I have never known

Much like a hound
longs for a bone

Home oh home
Where are you?

I never
Meant to lie
To you
You see it was at
Another's request
And I was left
To decide what I thought best
Yet
My lying isnt the best
And remembering turns my head into a mess
So instead of the stress i turned
Silent
To keep from hurting you.

Another chapter
Same story
A continuation
Of a saga
Behold
A torn page
Torn heart

Forever,
I will be the listening ear
But
When it comes for me to express my voice
No ears linger.
Always

Dear Words on the paper
Please heal my mind
I know what they say
And what I need is time

But time is of an essence
that I do not have

I can remember
Your smile
And yet worn eyes
As you burried yourself
In religion
And work
No mother nor rest
In sight
And as i continue
To live in this life
And wake up in the middle of
The night
I think I understand
How you went astray
Dad,
I really miss you

I have
Taken being called the N-word hard er
Told that I don't belong
Taken that I am fat
my hair was not beautiful cause it was never long
Taken that I would never make it out of High school
My dream held no worth
That nobody wanted me here and that I should be gone

Despite all the hatred and spite gave to me
I refuse to return it.

I want to scream and shout at the world
Holler at the tolerance
Tell people just how lonely I am
Explain how important you are to me
But when I open my mouth
Inhale
Exhale
No words are formed

It was only a week
Yet it felt like years
do tell me
Where have you been
and where have you gone

The day you said
You liked me
As a person
A friend
I cannot deny
The sky opened up
And together
We cried

We were never
On the same page
The same chapter
Perhaps,
We crossed paragraphs
And sentences
And yet
I wanted you
To still be in my book

I waited
Forever
To finally say
I love you.

You were,
A rib
A Backbone
Multi-Dimensional and goal-oriented

You were
A human
A woman
Loving and nurturing in every aspect
In honesty? Perhaps to good

Now you are
Fragments of what once existed
Alas, you were enough...
Just not for the right person.

Which to the human heart
Is more painful?
Loving someone
Or Being alone?

How does one not  go crazy when basic necessities
Are not at a basic cost
Instead,

Your ´average´ single rooms median rate is around $950
Squeeze as many as you can into that one room because
2 rooms you´re looking around 1,000+

Don´t wish to starve right?
Average household groceries range about 4,000
Throw in a nice budget, and a few coupons and who knows
You might range about 3,800

They tell you Education is the key but
But tuition itself is around 9,970
In-State that is.

Heck scientist have even theorized the cost of BREATHING
To be around $80

Living is a luxury I can no longer afford

No more summer flings in July
Means
No more heartbreaks in September