They said:

Gather wood,

Strike the spark,

Craft the fire you seek.
But now,
With flames in my hands,

I long for the one I lost —
The playful glow
That needed nothing

But wonder to burn.

Strokes of hues laid here beneath,
Scream the sound a crowd can read
Every me, lives in a never-ending staircase
Head go dim and lit as the world spins wild
Here, lucky isn’t the famous child
Nor the baby born on a higher step
For lucky, is the mind with power
Fortune favors the mind with peace
What for are the stairs bordered with sturdy shoulders?
When one’s trained to focus gazing up
No matter how slow, no matter how little
If you’ll move and move, you’ll get there

Bet myself should award me
As the most protective and trustworthy
For I can never fully trust anyone, but myself
Go ignite flames, It still won’t melt
Nothing to lose, nothing to prove
Walls are high, sturdy as it should
Who hurt me? They ask

Maybe then I’ll meet
My secret weeper, in public places
My yesterday’s plea, my shade of blue
Yet, I can never look her in the eye
Jump high instead, would I?
Leap over, overcome
So I can laugh, like it’s no harm done

I’d rather play dumb
and pray
Oh God, I’d rather be wrong
For she’s always right
Forgive me, father
I won’t love myself that much this time
For if I’m a fool
Maybe, I am the fool,
she needs the most
And they’ll keep talking
I’ll  keep listening
I’ll keep praying
I’ll keep asking
Oh God, embrace me
I’m bleeding
I made me so strong
Yet, guess she’s stronger
Father, I’m so blue
Father, I’m so tired
I need love
Oh God, embrace me

A modern day woman, would you call me?
A wild fervent against all and sundry
The mob said i deserve more, they always worry
Kinda late though, Look! I started already

A high bar set from my torn old letter
Would she even be someone better?
How far will this Pollyanna go?
Will I reap what i sow?

What have you become?
From every harm that has been done
From every bullet you bit
From every grief you licked
You tasted fire, you chewed flames
You’d burn greater, you’d burn brighter in the rain
For every courage came from pain
Out of love, you’ll win every game
Out of hurt, you’ll never be the same
So why would I fret?

Wonder why I’m blue
Wonder why I’m chilling
Your hands are cold, though they are tanned
I’d warm them up, but they’re still numb
How I wish, I can always carry them with me
But, time-to-time your hands get heavy
It’s just you, and how you act naturally
How I wish, I wasn’t this overly sensitive
How I wish I can always lift you up
But you know that wouldn’t work
And I couldn’t change that
Until forever

Us, our lives in hard mode
Born unlucky to grow in a hard way
Systems, eating us alive
Folding us, wrecking our wild
Unbalanced, restless, uptight
Some systems, do not nurture creativity
And i’m a fiercely enduring candlelight
Here, we’re set to overwork,
Until,
We’re up there

Lighting up as she puffs the haze
To soothe the grief through her magic ways
How come do you need? While I don’t
Your killer glow stick, your healing zone?

The hurt that lives, between your lips
The smoke that bursts, in your mouth, I’d kiss
Truly some things fetching are beyond control
Go share me pain, go build your wall
To smash and break, then and there
To suffer is an option, we’re both aware
So I’ll pause, I’ll hear, I’ll stare
And I’ll move on

She’ll move mountains, she said
Once she’s stable, she believed
Sniffing flowers and leaves
I’m confused, I’m intrigued

Lovely is she, who kept cracking surfaces
Diving deep, then whirling to the unknown
Lovely is she and her tired eyes,
crowning her heavy head
Come, tell me lovely
How does it feel?
Learning on your own

“Rational to brawl the irrational!”
As they irrationally brawl like pawns?
Feeding kings and queens with faithful heart
Bursting flames with tongues so sharp
How far can you go? How far can you go?
With the depths of what you know
With the love you can’t let go
How far can you go? How far can you go?

And I now hold them like water in my hands
For no matter how tight my grip gets
They’d still slip through my little fingers
They’d still drip, though I watch
I, who no longer control power
I, who no longer be mad
So toast to the peace!
The peace, I grant unto you
Til I change my mind

Go show to thy inferiors
Go show to thy superiors
Display to them
Daylight, you repeat
Nightlight, you redo
Coming from you, only for you
Display to them
The real champ only competes
With herself

Underneath our ceilings,
We’re too busy to feel feelings

Crafting fires, sculpting waters
Assembling ways, breeding colors

Underneath our bloodlines
We’re the soldiers assigned to the war—
Juggling weapons, battling grief
Saving lives of our fellowmen

Underneath the hands of a clock
We’re the fastest in the race
But we’re the last to finish
Yet, we believe we're champions
With bursts of color, like party confetti
For we feel it

Like saints, I, too, gather prayers
Pleas, bathing in tears
Anguished sobs, bursting
Straight to my face, I’ll be counting the days
Stretching lives, extending breaths
Sparking hope, sparking deaths
Prolonging life, prolonging pain
The wealthy in grief, ruptured in frame

We barely ask further, we always read
Assumptions and surmises our feelings feed
Go dig old messy books, as if it’ll matter
Whatever that was, to love is still to love her

I’ll fold then I’ll press
My roots of success
I’ll hold then I’ll throw
I’ll fly then I’ll fall
Yet I’ll pick me up
And toss me up again

Above the trees, above the seas
With the clouds that smile and give me peace
I’m breathing, I’m growing
Ready for take off! I’m living

In every line, in every stroke
I traced the breeze, the feel, the folk
Here in my blood, in my skin, in my coat
Remembering Maria, a sketch, a note

Slip, flub, try
See? The aim’s still there
As the rich man cries
Whiff, chip, fly
The dream’s still there
Above the bluer skies
Here, he who pays the piper calls the tune
Yet, dime a dozen men can’t get the moon
So I repeat,
Slip, flub, try
And I won’t stop

A new slant to my scene
Yet like trailer for a film
Looks exciting, I ween
A fool for you, my queen!

On the grounds of this, it’ll endlessly summon
Some worn out knees, forcefully bent to bloom
Brutally folded, to spring out crisp and sharp
Yes, yesterdays did think they killed a body
Yet, yesterdays just crushed it into tiny pretty things
No limb will truly collapse til she gets lucky
A worked out unprivileged, with her lovelier stories

On the grounds of this, it’ll endlessly summon
Some worn out knees, forcefully bent to bloom
Brutally folded, to spring out crisp and sharp
Yes, yesterdays did think they killed a body
Yet, yesterdays just crushed it into tiny pretty things
No limb will truly collapse til she gets lucky
A worked out unprivileged, with her lovelier stories

For she’s a smouldering flower
That won’t run out of steam
Undeserved, yet too late; she’s already been
Here, loving everything
Here, begging to begin
Again, her being, her exception
While holding tears, while hiding fears
Can we write our new chapter?
Here, on the same page we deciphered
Then we’ll risk it all just to peruse
Poems we’ll lay down on empty books

made sharp flats
painted cats
burned some fats
cleaned my past
spilled my guts
passed my class
so I can ask
How are you?

No pressure, no diamonds
Glittering out of hard work
No rain, no rainbows
Learning out of hurt
Bursting hues, such an eye candy
Life can be dull, life can be pretty
Yet it’s your eyes who’ll choose
Which one to see

Always every anger was once love
Trickled down to our cheeks
A hopeful prayer through our lips
We put down the sword, we put down the leaves
Letting the palms be ashes
Fiery splatters, blazing splashes
A repentance kind of party
Is it really remorse and its beauty?
Why won’t you convince me?

Simula ngayon,
Pipilitin ko,
Gumising,
Sa mundong wala sa bukas mo
Simula ngayon,
Pipiliin kong,
Mamatay,
And damdaming niyakap ilang taon
Simula ngayon, ako’y magsisimula muli

At gaano man kabagal, ay bubuhaying muli
Ang pagkatao kong nawala sa ngalan ng dating pag-ibig
At alam mo balang araw, ako’y lilipad muli
Ng walang sakit, ng walang pait
Ng dating pag ibig
Simula ngayon, ako’y magsisisi...

Today,
I’m a thunder, diving headfirst to the ground
I’m wild river racing downstream
I’m a maverick rider on a lawless trail
I’m a boisterous revolution stirring the still waters
I’m a bold outlaw defying old rules
In these corners, I’m a garden breeding my own flowers
Breathing my own breath
Choosing my own colors

Crossed legs with her fingers crossed
A shameless allure, a power-hunger supreme
She’s been tempting the skin to keep craving to win, like an intriguing lipstick flower
in an evergreen

Come hell or high water!
Skin’s to serenely kiss the danger
Here, being stifled by the blue
Sinking, but teaching me to push through
So in deep,
I’ll constantly wander

With beams from their teeth
With dripping flames they swallowed
With sharp yet tired eyes and feet
The well built chests, the hard made meats
The restless arêtes
They’d narrow their steep roads
Extremely narrow and steep
That I’d crave to pass by
That I’d die to live

It’s eternal
A snake eating its own tail
She’ll be swimming in the wildfires with her hand-made wings
She’ll be soaring up to the skyline with her crafted fins
A hot head rising like a phoenix, Sylvia
Words do assemble her
like a scorching pyramid
What is that even? A kid
Too stubborn for rest

Never can a teardrop even
Roll down on your sad face
Whenever you leave me
Whenever I’m hurt
And here am I
Crying oceans below you
Feeling the weight, feeling the depth
You’ll never feel
You’ll never let the world to see
How come you’re telling me
You love me?

with all she has heard, with all she has seen
living’s cruel, so she has to win
she’d take her sorrows, wash them clean
go cleanse the hurt, beneath the skin
so you won’t see, you won’t notice
the pain below, she’d never show
Instead, she’ll  grow, she’ll let you know
crowns won’t shine, for those who let her go

filling up, coping up
beneath a guesswork of a frightened mind
quiet, yet moving
sad, yet hopeful
deciphering fright, coming up roses
as we read and hear, wise stoic phrases
diverting fear, kindling gloom
one day, what’s used to be normal will resume

worry not, we’ll cheat death
eternity, I had it set
for you’ll live forever in me
deeper than my soul
louder than my divinity
so I’ll always get through
here in the cold, unmoved and blue
yet, will never be bluer
for waves, they’re pulling me under
yet with faith, all is above water
so I believe

Over-loving, overwhelming
Always reaching, always dealing
Full of spirit, persevering
Blazing grit, hot and glowing

Who’s now downhearted, forlorn, blue?
Up for the whole nine yards for you
A melancholic thought, yet I’ll get through
Taken for granted as i take it too

Loosened strips, unfastened cords
Cloaked tawny petals you constantly hold
Eight Thirteen, by the park
Heading to Montevista, you showed your art

Oh crippled young wishful thinker
An acquaintance from her alter ego
You taste like sea and you glint like gold
You cried an ocean yet never left her floored

Come closer fake schuyler, come closer...
Stains from my cheek, the briny tang of Montevista
Smears from my agony, your sweet smell like tequila
Who killed this fondness? Who ruined this mania?
Answer me, answer me, Montevista!

So there, my lionhearted defier
Who plucked my doubts behind my sleeves
I was never good, nor even better
Yet among the alphabet, I’m his boldest letter

He rarely smiles, he rarely reacts
Yet I know his core, he paid a heed for sure
For around his neck, above his head, I lived
My co-pilot, the author of my journey’s creed

Here in a massive cramped pocket
Seeing shades, green and blue
Just a speck, bright yet faded
Here, still dancing around with you

Come, heedless, let me embrace
Your cold trunk, a futile phase
In every edge, in every place
We’ll move away from the center
With all my love, with all my grace
We’ll care about the other

In life, I race
High-heeled climbing rocky mountains
Undaunted swimming in gnashing flames
The harder it gets, the better I’ll be
For in life, I’ll race
Just to hear, your praise
So I could die, lucky
Hearing, you’re proud of me

Amidst mismatch, I’ll go rearrange
Go stumble, go flourish
Go groove when it rains

Though lights are off, It’ll never stop
It’ll flow, It’ll grow
If you choose to, it will
No matter what

tons of strokes laid onto sheets day by day
it won’t stop, it can’t hear what they say
it’ll always hope, it’ll always pray
one day, one morning
my forehead straight to sunbeams
I’d kiss the grief away
I’d ******* dreams and stay
for I’ll never quit, I’ll never fold
I’ll touch, I’ll lick, every pain I sold
one day, one morning
I might lose, yet never be losing
faith
so I’ll try again

A word for my ally
The seeing me, eye to eye
Out of the masses of minds
Out of all bodies, out of all kinds
Here, clasps the rarity of being found
The rest, to my ever tortured mind
A word for my ally
Supreme, magnificent, sublime
We’ll dance, we’ll fly
Sniffing coffee, battling time
Stretching limits, bending spines
A word for my ally
My morning, my divine

No matter how dark, no matter how pale
Not when I win, not when I fail
The hopeful will never be hopeless
The sad will never be saddest
Lungs with grit, veins with dreams
She may look black, she may look green
Yet she’s the thankful and forgiving
The reason and the proof why I’m living
My soul, my spirit, my being

Some moments, some days
Scared, we are to him
He, a path maker building towers
Dribbling battles, catching hurt
Writing our next chapters, word per word

His unheard laughs, his unseen tears
His grateful heart, his firm power
He, a light seeker lifting us like a king
A man who can lose for us to win

Tanned, muted
Yet it’ll never fade
Your frailty, your warmth
Your courage, my faith

Gently, it echoes
Yet sometimes it shouts
You know with years and years, I’ll still recall
How you made me smile, after all