Like a bold moth flying into the flame
I was unreasonably brave
Like a wide-mouthed jar
I was ready to catch all stars
I was a live wire, so thrilled to electrify
Yet my high heat, was a fresh face novice
Yet my bursts of joy, was an innocent mind
And it’s the poison who killed me
So today, in afterlife
I walk on eggshells, I’m weary
My hands are like the surgeon’s
Unhurried, steady

Today,
I’m a thunder, diving headfirst to the ground
I’m wild river racing downstream
I’m a maverick rider on a lawless trail
I’m a boisterous revolution stirring the still waters
I’m a bold outlaw defying old rules
In these corners, I’m a garden breeding my own flowers
Breathing my own breath
Choosing my own colors

I clothe my wounds the best dress
In striking teals, ultramarines, and indigos
I put some hope, even on such illusory mess
In beams, in gleams, in radiance
Been dipped in deep dull sense
Stacks of years, chunks of logic
Aging, through rationality and dialectics
Maneuvering designs and tactics
And still we’d play new year jumping
til our legs can
For every inner child that lives
Year per year

Dogs can even smell the sadness in me
It leaks from my soul
It jumps out from my skin
Yet one step higher is where we always belong, don’t we?
One step higher is the gleaming golden trophy
And we’d craft our chances
We’d grow our wings
To leave them behind…

And I now hold them like water in my hands
For no matter how tight my grip gets
They’d still slip through my little fingers
They’d still drip, though I watch
I, who no longer control power
I, who no longer be mad
So toast to the peace!
The peace, I grant unto you
Til I change my mind

Always every anger was once love
Trickled down to our cheeks
A hopeful prayer through our lips
We put down the sword, we put down the leaves
Letting the palms be ashes
Fiery splatters, blazing splashes
A repentance kind of party
Is it really remorse and its beauty?
Why won’t you convince me?

It’s like climbing on top of the world that’s sinking
It’s like piecing together a shattered mirror
It’s like building sandcastles at the tide’s edge
It’s like walking a tightrope over a chasm
My mind’s a party confetti
Bursts of color, yet messy
And I keep celebrating small wins
Out of grief, out of suffering
And funny how the mind just keeps coping
A mad good party kind of feeling