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Randelle Mar 2019
listen carefully although i usually have nothing important to say.
     only a stupid story about this low key performer struggling to get laid.

  his date looked disappointed when she discovered his puny ***** and knew there wasn't much he could do to enter-tain-her.

  He appeared to be a stand up guy displaying some genuine feminine traits.  

   Nothing special about this act  there wasn't an applause not really even worth a few moans basic and bland not much of a crowd-please-her.

  A 60 sec session of hide the pickle minus 30 sec he wasted making sure he was in the right place.

  Any audience would have felt pity for a man of his class with limited experience , lack of energy , no variety described best as being plain.

Switching roles might help when he is on stage or spooning his more masculine companion practicing one line-hers.
Randelle Mar 2019
You can be the most loving and gentle man i have ever known, but not so much here lately. You have this other side to you consumed by addiction. The good side of you is losing by a long shot and exposing the worst ugly side of you gradually. Selfish, inconsiderate,hurtful in so many ways. Solely being motivated by then need for one more line.  Pushing me aside and destroying our love by abandoning me for the one thing that really gets you high. Shutting me out because you don't want to listen to me tell you how your actions are damaging me. Little by  little , piece by piece you are tearing me down and with every time i'm learning to hate you with each passing day. Self absorbed ***** that tries to turn the tables on me. A coward that runs from conversations with meaning because expressing feelings are scary. I've made you aware that this kind of life is not the life i want indefinitely. So you tell me you'll try and in a blink of an eye change your mind. Then abruptly discarding me cause losing me is better than feeling guilty during high times. Something dark is now living in your soul, the man i love is gone possibly never to return. You have never been so cruel, you have never tried so hard to hurt me so viciously. Where is the man that loved me effortlessly and made me his main concern. Now your drifting in time , nothing but a hollow entity. all that remains of you is an unworthy poor excuse for what use to be a genuinely good man. Please explain what i ever did to deserve you to demean me with such devices and triggering me to doubt myself intensively. admittedly i have let my emotions get the best of me, yes i have said hurtful things and i have questioned your motives and expressed insecurities. I've lost my patience and began to feel i couldn't trust or depend on you for much of anything yet through the havoc with you I stand. Almost convinced i might just be crazy because why am i still trying to love the shell of who you used to be and hurting me intentionally to feed your own narcissistic tendencies.
i
Randelle Mar 2019
If only you could have a chance to perceive the man i see a man  deserving of much more then he allows himself ,  dreaming of  magic  because she would find a way to grant you a long glimpse through the eyes look unto you.

     A fierce ,strong,gentle,kind creature with an abundance of love to supply to this dull world ,  Genuine and sincere overly terrified of what life has in store.

    If only he gave himself a fighting chance and  eventually breaking free from the chains confining him to this fantasy he made  to cope with reality , surrounded by the cold callus walls of his very own tomb.

    A shy,timid,innocent boy who's inner child is  held captive and  bound to an existence filled with what is defined as  cruel behaviors called trauma , at the hands of the ones he gave his trust they must have been monsters to do such things without a spec of humanity or remorse.

    A man in desperate need of love  yet absolutely unwillingly to accept she could love him completely, he fortified his heart behind what he thinks is  impenetrable armor while claiming to accept love the best he can.

    A trapped soul yearning to be emancipated from the nightmares haunting the ability to feel alive and causing him to forget the hurt , Lowering the veil that covers up his past wounds with the empty spaces that were created when his memory detached.

    Forcing distance ,fearing everyone ,viewing all as a  potential threat ,denying himself any chance to satisfy his needs , rendering her powerless and incapable of the skills needed to help save a soul with deep scars created by what he holds behind the  different masks.

   Her only desire is to remain at his side throughout it all reaching out for him praying  that he extends his reach back  , sparks ignite while palm in palm they meet with a firm grip of his unsure hand.

  One can only hope that one day he will finally know what it means to have self love and a sense of worthiness , wishing he finds something he can hold onto much like an anchor ,something constant he will want to keep for eternity.

   Offering unwavering support consistently at his side never giving up, it's all she could  ever want or dream of doing for the man she loves this immensely.

   One girl is willing to offer so much for a man she believes is amazing in every way , sacrificing her own happiness temporarily for what she swears she feels in her core.

  Defending what she knows is buried within lonely eyes of a man terrified to accept love , She craves the man buried in the depths of his mind she is confident he's worth all she has to offer because he is the one she has come to adore.

  The kind of love forged with outstanding strength and the deepest compassion facing the  pain  together and leaving an imprint of their tears , meanwhile without fail protecting memories of a not so easy time.

   The anchor granted him the will to endure tragedy with strength and discipline which made it possible to defeat what hindered him from a better life ,  Revealing fragments of the past making a path that was carved during the journey of a great love and one mans courage to face what he needs to so he can finally see the light.
Randelle Feb 2019
https://m.facebook.com/notes/randelle-nicole-rowe/emotions/772725012769434/
Randelle Feb 2019
https://m.facebook.com/notes/randelle-nicole-rowe/chaos/674361882605748/
Randelle Feb 2019
https://m.facebook.com/notes/randelle-nicole-rowe/i-have-come-so-far-from-the-person-i-use-to-be/647350151973588/
Randelle Feb 2019
https://m.facebook.com/notes/randelle-nicole-rowe/starting-over/235213099853964/
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