Oh how I wish
How I wish I could
Spend my life in complete slumber
To be isolated from this world
To retire to fantasies of my desires.

To lose all my morals
To give in to the voices in my
Head. To take the first step
Towards pure darkness.
Seems easier than
maintaining this persona
This nice guy act it's sickening.

Everyday I feel like I'm withering away
Only the perfectly curated version of
Myself remains. How sickening ?
Just be yourself they said
It's okay to be you
How foolish

If only you knew the darkness
If only you knew the despair
That lies in wait.  If only
You knew the disdain , the
Digust , behind every hello.

To be lonely is to free
To be loved is to caged
So why , why do you insist
Why do you keep getting in
My way dear conscious

Why do u hate me
What have I done
that is so atrocious.
I can see through even
Your most perfect
Disguise.

Happiness seems so vague
Like a distant euphoria. The
Thought of it anguish's
Your entire entity. It harms
Your very existence.

Your soul bleeds compassion and rages
Like a whimpering caged tiger.
It hurts so fierce,  I worry you
May lose yourself in the pain of it all
My dear friend.

For 10 years we been slaving away preparing for our futures. Two years stand in between a successful or a tragic future . Both are an option that every one can choose the one they want. I'm afraid success comes at a cost with our love being the sacrificial lamb.

I really utterly im just bad at relationships 
U are an angel really I could never forgive myself if anything happened to u due to me. I'm tired seeing u heart broken or sad or even angry.
If u really feel that am that big of a **** or a emotionless freak. You have the green light to free yourself
But I am utterly and sincerely sorry.

Emotions are overrated
Either use them or lose them
Anger the fuel of passion
The only emotion worthwhile .

I have become a slave .
My heart the master of my actions.
I have tried to resist but everytime
I see you I become a trainwreck.
I am infused with all kinds of feelings love why?

Believe me I have tried to resist
but your unparalleled beauty alone
Has rendered me defenceless .
Loving you is like loving something you can't have in a lifetime.
I can't live like this any longer
All botteld up with emotions of love and regrets.

I am a prisoner of love and you
my warden. It seems our love had been forbbiden since ancient times.
But my love I will always have our love cemented in my heart for all of eternity.

Your love is strenous the fact that I can stand by you every minute is a miracle

Your eyes sparkle like evening sky inviting yet gut wrenching. The stars align in your presence those dazzling eyes piercing through my soul like a runaway Christmas Carol.

The first time I laid my eyes to those dazzling eyes. The world stood still for a moment. Oh everything went in slow motion. Only you and I mattered during that magical moment.