You said that I'm different, I'm just not the same
We both know the problem, it's the drink to blame
I'm not the man you met all those years ago
Turned into a stranger, someone you don't even know
Looking in the mirror, I know this to be true
I became the man I was all because of you
But something just happend, I guess I lost my way
Maybe I'll become that man again.... One day

You cause the pain, yet you're also the cure
Sometimes I'd doubt it our love was pure
Two broken souls who found love together
We were both foolish if we'd thought it'd last forever

You tell me you love me when we're on the phone
But I'm still sat here all on my own
I hope one day I could say it to you face
Powerful feelings I could never erase
Missing you when I feel all alone
You tell me you love me when we're on the phone

Took less that a day to know I liked you, less than a week to know I love you
Some people would call me crazy and some people may be true
But some people need to see you for what I see you for
No words are good enough to describe you, I'm searching for more
I think my words show how much I care
When I finally see you I'll show you with my actions when Im there
A 20 minute train ride doesn't seem that long
But feels like an eternity to get to where I belong
Hands touching hands, heart touching heart
I think I've been in love since the start
I hope I'm in love till the end
Because I don't want to be just your friend

You said you've never been given flowers but I'd steal you a whole flower bed
Any type any colour, blue green or red
You've never been on a date well let's change that now
I'd take you to the moon if I only knew how
We'd walk among the stars and dance next to the sun
Don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone
I would write your name in the sky above
Just to show you the extent of my love
Let me be clear I'd do all this and more
Just to show you love like you've never been shown before

When you wake up in the morning and you're all alone
You'll find me waiting on the other side of the phone
Sending you my love with texts or still videos I share
I just want you to know how much I care
You're the first thing on my mind every single day
Can I message you some more? Would that ok?

I didn't want a relationship until I met you
It's weird to say but I don't know what to do
I want to talk and text any chance I get
A soul like yours I could never forget
Even though I don't know you very well
Any second without talking to you is like a living hell
If you get this message please call me back
A day without you is like a heart attack

We haven't spoke in a while
I hope you read this soon
Worlds apart yet I miss your presence
We only spoke for a little
But now you're gone
Please come back
Please come back
Just come back
Come back

I wake up later to keep this dream going
Imagine the life I want without ever knowing
You're there with me in this neverending dream
In my mind we're and unstoppable team
I wake up to reality and you're not there
So far away from me, not in my arms, I guess life's not fair
Check my phone to see if you've text me
A smile on my face when I do get to see
I see a message sent from you
I guess you dreamt the same dream too

I cut my wrists again
Then blame it on the drink
I look at the scars every now and then
But I don't know what to think
See the blood keep dripping
All down my arm
Thoughts keep slipping
From happiness to harm
Just want the pain to all go away
Hope the blood will stop spilling
One day

We danced I the rain like we didn't care who saw
We had everything and everything but still wanted more
We'd watch the stars that would shine so bright
When darkness would fall you'd be my light
When held eachother we felt more than love
I really should have thanked the god above
He brought me my peace in a world of violence
Hearing your voice brought me inner silence
Thick and thin we held on tight
When I first saw you it was love at first sight
I always hoped we would be together
Neverending this love, not now, not ever

I'm living in fear of failure
Scared of taking a chance
Making a change
Driving me insane
**** MY BRAIN
I keep drinking to make myself feel ok
I dont what to say
Why was I made this way?
Lifes going well
And I've got a plan
But why do I feel like I'm escaping hell?
Someone show me the light
Get me through the night
Because I dont see a good ending in sight
I'm scared that I might not see this plan through
I'm scared of how I might effect you
Because I love you so much
And YOU dont deserve this
I dont deserve you
I dont deserve you

I'm scared I'll bring you down

I don't want to meet you half way, I'll meet you at the start
I'll just follow the string you have round my heart
It's pulling so tight that my heart start to ache
With feeling so strong I don't know how much more I can take
You'll either be my happiest ending of my worst heart break

Why do I keep looking a pictures of you? Maybe its because I cant let go
All I want to do is call you to tell you I still love you more than you know
I want to make things right and have you back in my life
Because deep in my heart I wanted to make you my wife
I miss you so much that its making cry
I cried even harder when I saw you with another guy
People keep telling to move on and forget about you
But you and I both know thats something I cannot do
Lifes gotten so dark since I lost my light
I hope you I think about you every night

I don't just want you at your best, I want you at your worst
You may think when I write about you it sounds all rehearsed
But it's not, I only describe you as I see you
A girl so perfect, no one is ever going to be you
An angel could talk and my eyes wouldn't budge
No matter what you do, I would never judge
Everytime I write a poem you already know who it's about
And I would always write for you, don't you ever have a doubt
Do me on favour, never change who you are
I fell in love with this girl from afar

How do we describe that childhood feelings?
When life was pure
When life had meaning
We're older now
But life still goes on
Wishing we were young again
Wishing we had that feeling
Would go on on and on
When I think of years ago
Life seems fuzzy
Yet beautiful
Now life seems dim and bleak
Where did they joy go?
Why did I grow up?
Maybe I guess I'll never know
Or maybe I'm not who I used to be

I never love anyone the way I loved you
You were like a drug and that I was madly addicted to
I miss you so much, I can't believe we ended
We both had problems that we could have mended
I know you'll never read this but I mean everything I write
If you we're to call tomorrow I'd already be there last night
You said you push the people you love away
Yeah we we're toxic but something kept telling me to stay
You're stuck in my head and I don't know why
I really wish we could give us another try
Fresh start for both you and me
Maybe we'll meet again sometime, just have to wait and see

We spoke on the phone all night till the day
I looked after you till the tears went away
Explaining to me how life got you down
Keep your head up my dear, don't ever frown
Life can be tough, I understand your pain
Dark thoughts always linger but we must restrain
Call me day or night I'm always going to be here
And when them tears fall again I'll wipe them away my dear

Breathing getting heavy I cant take it no more
I think this is the moment we've both been waiting for
I grip your waist and hold you tight
You've got my lips trembling, I hope you don't bite
We give into sin as passion takes place
The look in your eyes makes me heart start to race
I feel your skin, so soft to the touch
I've been craving for this so very much
The taste of your lips make my blood rush
You can see my cheeks start to blush
United as one, it's all lead to this
A moment of passion and eternal bliss

Why can I talk when I'm too scared to do it
I have to say 10 times in my head before I go though with it
Sentence after sentence I keep practicing

Making sure I get it right?
Or just... Never mind
I know it won't come out right

Maybe if repeat it one more time I'll be brave enough to speak
Ok I can do this

"I think-"
Oh **** the moment just passed
Now I look stupid

My tormented mind will never rest
I will all aways feel second best
Battered and bruised all throughout my life
Thoughts cut deeper than a knife
I hate myself and I dont know why
Just waiting for the day I die
A lifeless husk just surviving day by day
Praying for the pain to go away
My tormented mind is slowly dying
Every day I feel like crying
Sometime I think I might be insane
Why do I feel this pain
Can't find a way out, guess I'm blind
Trapped inside my tormented mind

You're everywhere in this garden
I cant escape your sight
Your the grass by the path
The Moss on the stump
Leaves raked up into a little clump
Algea on the water
Adding life to never-ending blue
Even the depths of that void cannot contain you
For you lay upon the riverbed
Dancing with the stream
You're the weeds in the cracks
Poking through my drive
You embody life in every single way
We'll miss you come winter
When your influence fades
When life feels ghostly
So we wait until spring
And watch you bloom again
You're the colour in this garden
Green Green Green

I can't stop writing, every word I bleed is you
Why do you have hold on me because I don't have clue
Just keep writing poems, more and more
This has never happened to me before
I've destroyed the alphabet and I don't feel no shame
You have a hold over me, I guess you're to blame

Hating myself because I spoke too soon
I'm now drinking again and it's not even noon
Hoping for a response and what do I see
Not a single message left for me
I got attached to quick but that's just me
Guess thats why I hide these thoughts through poetry
I now know my place and I'll stay in my lane
And hide these feeling deep within my brain

Life never goes the way you plan
But it's time for me to set up and be a man
Face all of my dreaded fears
Dark thoughts I've been hiding all these years
When you last saw me I was a broken mess
Hiding all of the pain and stress
Look at me now finally I've grown
Not the same man you thought you have known

Let me ease your mind before it's too late
How did we end up in this cruel twist fate?
Let your feelings pour
We can fight this war
Sometimes talking can be the cure

I can't focus at work, Im just thinking of you
Trying to load a van but I don't remember what to do
Even though we're world's apart I still feel you near
You're here in my mind I can see you so clear

To write about this girl is no easy task
How do you describe perfection?
I could tell you about how she makes me feel
How she calms my head when it gets to loud
How shes my guiding light when I'm lost in the crowd
How I can't go a day without craving her touch
If you couldnt tell I miss her so much
I could tell you how she brightens my day
Or some other basic cliche
More true is that she is my very world
In this neverending universe
The reason the sun rises to end the dark nights
The reason rain falls so we can dance in the puddles
The reason I strive to be a better man
There is nothing I want more than to see her succeed
She's not the girl I want but the only girl I need
I keep falling in love with her every single day
Shes the definition of perfection in every single way

You dance like the burning embers with fiery passion
Though never leaving the fire pit you burn bright and bold
Letting everyone you come across know you're there
Sporadic in nature, never truly tamed
Destructive as all hell
But such a pretty and warm sight
You're a crimson red flame burning down the night

A fire burns inside my heart
Cogs turning but refuse to start
I love you
But somethings stuck
Help me please
I'm running out of luck

I said I'd leave you alone
And not message you no more
But your notification is the only one I want to be shone
With you not texting me now
The wounds still sore
I'm waiting by the phone
I cant wait much more

Saturday, Three in the morning, just cuddling and kissing
Some people would rather be out clubbing, I pity them because they don't know what they're missing
Laying here with my girl, got the music volume up high
Got my hands all over her, she so **** I can't lie
Kissing up and down her body, I got not time to waste
Looking at her gets so hungry I need a taste
The music and loud enough so she put a pillow over her face
For being to loud guess I'll have to put her in her place
Five in the morning and we still making the shake
Got her legs wrapped round me don't know how much more I can take
She's saying all the right things, think I'm about to give in
Can't blame me for this God but I'm about to commit sin
A night of passion, two lovers in a state of bliss
Can't wait to spend the rest of my life like this
So give me that pinky and seal it will a kiss

How can I be in love with her but have feelings for you
Thoughts in my head focus on you and I dont know what to do
Thinking about what could have been
But like you said are future was unseen
Now someone else is trying with you and it makes me regret
All I want to do is drink to forget
I shouldn't have these thoughts, why have the come back?
Stuck with this inner conflict, I cant hold off the attack
Everything's being questioned I wish I couldn't think
Want to forget this all in a blink
Suffer in silence and take all the pain
You're in my head and it drives me insane

A bitter sweet poison
I crave every drop
Slowly killing me
Yet I cant seem to stop
Fell victim to your power
Your grips getting tight
I need you just to function
So wrong but so right
I fall and I stumble
Because you always have to win
So beautiful so perfect
My poison my sin

My heart can't describe how beautiful you are
And words can only get me so far
I would show you with actions but your not here
Maybe I'll get to show you one day this year
Day, night or even when I sleep
A day without you my heart begins to weep

I know this is right because you love me for my wrongs
Once lost in this massive scary world
My hearts found where it belongs
Warm and safe in your arms I now lay
I fall more and more in love with you
Day by day

Gray clouds looming over my head
Darkness filling my thoughts with dread
Once peaceful a dream now a nightmare filled bed
How is this life? Am I already dead?

I've told you things I've never told anyone before
Opening an exit but you still closed the door
I can open up I'm around you
And I so so happy that I actually found you
I find honesty hard but I have to let you know
No matter what happens I'm never going to go
When talking to you I've never been so happy
I know I write poems that can seem quite sappy
But I know your worth and you deserve the best
So I have to let this off my chest
In my eyes one in a billion, I can't describe you
You're the only cure I want to be prescribed to
It's weird how we've never met but I miss you all the time
You your the only one I think of when I write any rhyme
I kills me that you don't know everything I want to say
But this is just the start till I write you the next day

You're the only poem I read and I don't want it to end
I only see you as more than a friend
You make angles questions their own existence
Your love is an infection and I have no resistance
Whenever I write it's always about you
If I send you this poem then you'll know it to be true
I see you for everything you are and more
If any man wronged you even God then I'd wage a war
If you're reading this now, these are my feelings unspoken
You fixed me up when I was feeling broken
You're the reason I'm writing, but it's hard to describe perfection
If I was to describe a woman you'd be my words reflection
I'm drinking right now so these are my thoughts raw
You're everything and more that I've been looking for
Why do I miss you when you've never been here
Tell you how I truly feel is my biggest fear
Even when I'm gone and you don't know what to do
You'll still have these poems that were made for you

I've never felt like I've ever been enough
I never understood why life could be so tough
Dark thoughts hold me down, why's my mind playing a game
I only saw one way out of this eternal pain
I only saw red walking down this path
Unstoppable torment an unbearable wrath
I always hold out hope for a much better day
But an empty void is in my way
You held out your hand when I lost all hope
You loosened the grip to my tight rope
That voice alone guided me through the storm
Then a light at the end of the tunnel started to from
Can't believe god sent you my way
You we're the answer I was looking for everytime I would pray

Mortal words describing beauty so pure
Words don't exist for that I'm sure
But she was a goddess in my humble eyes
Mortal words hold many truths but many lies
Lying through the teeth like most mortals do
Though I cannot lie when I'm describing you
Because of you I know what I feel
Never I thought a woman could be real

Dark path before me
I've taken it a thousand times
But tonight I was scared of running in blind
Some internal thought holding me back
But this dark path ahead
I knew it so well
Fear took over and caused my muscles to quell
So I run back home
Safe under light
I let fear win

Starving, craving, begging for a reason to keep going
Please tell me there is light because its not showing
I need every drop, every last ounce
I need a reason to keep showing my face
I tried so hard
Yet you still shoot me down
Then turned your back on your own ideals
******* for running my chances
******* for going back on your word
I cant believe I fell for your trick
I cant believe I took on your lies
How can I still see you as a friend yet pray for your downfall
I pray to go you dont win at all

Born into a world of torment and sin
Born into a world where you will never win
Lost in the dark with not way out
Speak proud with a voice that will never shout
Hold strong because the path is very clear
Keep on fighting and never give into fear
Chin up high and fight till the end
Chin up high through the dark times my friend

We can be friends but it will **** me inside
I think a tiny piece of my heart just died
For all the love I hold is directed at you
I bleed with emotion through and through
No one is good enough for you not even me
But I will spend the rest of my life trying to be
Give me a second chance at life and I'd find you again
So I could fall in love right there and then

You find comfort in my presence
A familiar feeling you can't explain
Warm yet fuzzy you'd describe my look
Like you've been here before
Take a closer look
Does something seems off ?
Am I not what you thought?
You can't explain
This uncomfortable feeling
Now puzzled at my presence
Was it all just a lie?
Take a closer look

A hanus ***** born from the flame
When you do things wrong, I'm still to blame
Ugly in the face, heart and mind
A hateful soul Id regret to find
Using your hate yet you still lose this war
You're the ugliest soul I've ever seen before

The weight of my actions haunt me everyday
My mouth is fed up from the lies I have to say
I keep drinking and I know its wrong
I honestly cant stop
Firstly I'm sorry Mum
But its the only end in sight
Even when I lie you know I'm drinking every night
I'm sorry that I'm not the perfect son
But I'm trying my best
Secondly I'm sorry to my Grandad
I know you spirit watches in shame
I really want to stop but addiction is to blame
The liquor hunts me, just like you do
I'm begging for your voice to help get me through
All the addiction and pain that I'm trapped in
I know you taught me better
I know I live in sin
Lastly I'm sorry to the love of my life
This is the year I want to make you my wife
But I'm worried that how I am will bring you down
And it would **** me inside just to see you frown
So please take this as my addiction resignation
I promise to quit for you and for me
Because I CAN'T do this life without you
When I was on my own I didn't have a clue
So I'm sorry for the lies
You all don't deserve this
I had to get this off my chest before it consumed me

Why is my head so ******?
Someone please tell me
Why do  I drink to feel normal
I'm begging for an answer
Because if you dont know
And I dont know
Then where will this conversation even go?
Just repeat the same cycle
Stop that, try harder
Think differently
Well I CANT
So stop asking
Please
I'm begging please
My head is to ******
I dont think I cant be fixed

Hold still while you swallow your pride
Let me capture this moment
When we found out you lied
Cheated, manipulated
Your way to the top
Tell me when the lies will stop
I'd hear your words
But there hollow and thin
All these lies
But you still didn't win