12 years since you died and the wounds still like new
I miss you I miss you I miss you
I was 6 when you was taken form us and the pain wont go
There just so many things I want you to know
Nan really misses you, the love of her life
Why would God take a man from his wife?
Why would God rip you from our family?
Your death really effected me
So many things we never got to do together
As a kid I used to think you'd live forever
All I want is to give you a hug and tell you everything
But lifes just cruel and just takes and takes and takes  
I miss you I miss you I miss you
Please come back

I haven't wrote in a while and my words fell silent
But the war in my head still remains violent
I've changed so much and come a long way
Pushing through day by day
I've missed these poems, they kept me sane
These poems I write take away the pain

Word, word, word with some deeper intent
Pointless poems that you've come to resent
I don't care anymore, I'm honestly done
No point writing anymore, its not that fun
My words mean nothing, and no one wants to know
Why did I even try, doesn't matter I'm about to go
Bye forever, no more writing, not now, not then
I'm finished with poems, I'm never writing again

Its over 2019, gone, finished, done
2020 a new chapter of my life has just begone
Thank god its over, I hated this year
Drown my sorrows with my 12th beer
Keep drinking, maybe forget ?
Most things I did this year I could never regret
I'm glad its done and I never have to do it again
Hopefully I never have to feel like this, not now, not then
Goodbye 2019, leave me and don't come back ever
Hello 2020 please change me forever-

I hate being alive, depressed, I want to die
Never thought I'd feel like this, I really don't know why
Or maybe I do and just don't want to say
But I know, its a thought I have every single day
Help me please, save me from this pain
Sometimes the right words can make my thoughts seem sane
Tell me I'm joking, or that I'm lying to myself
It cant be true, my words must be locked on the shelf
I'm worthless I know, never more than I think
Wish my life would end faster than a blink

Felt so lost before I found you
I think my life's complete I don't know what to do
You're all I could have asked for and more
I don't know why I was gifted happiness for
Thank you for coming into my life, you re lit my spark
You're the light that pulled me out the dark
I love you so much, more than words can say
My love grows day by day

Found love, gained hope
Lost love, tide my rope